Monday, July 26, 2010

Titles for Transitional Times

In front of my kitchen window, with my hands immersed in warm, sudsy water, I tilted my head and thought about what label I would give myself at this time in my life. Stay-at-home-mom has been my self-proclaimed title for twelve years, but how to account for the thirty-plus hours each week I spend on my writing career?



I'm the type of person who doesn't want to mislead anyone. The truth is very important to me.

Could I call myself a working mom even though I don't get paid? Would I even want to call myself a working mom unless I get paid?

No, I'm not supporting any mommy wars today. There are many working mothers who help my life--nurses who make my children's shots painless, check-out clerks who light my day with a smile, teachers who nurture my kids, scientists working on a cure for cancer, and yes, even editors and agents who are willing to spend time away from their families to grow authors' careers. But working outside the home does not make one mom super while the other mom is just a mom. Stay-at-home-moms are vital too. I'd say in today's busy world, we're all supermoms. The important thing is that each mother is making a difference in the way she's best suited for.

Back to my dilemma. Well, my writing isn't volunteer work. I intend to make money from my books. Ever since I started submitting, I haven't been afraid to tell people I'm a writer. Have there been times I've been embarrassed when someone asks if I'm published yet? Oh, yeah! But most of the time, I'm confident in myself and my work. I have always considered it just a matter of time until my books are in stores.

So, I dipped my hands back into the welcoming bubbles and my title was there: I'm a stay-at-home-mother and aspiring author.

What title do you give yourself? Or do you prefer not to be locked in a box?

Join me on Wednesday when we'll talk about envy.

23 comments:

  1. Even with a contract, I struggle to tell people I'm a writer. I'm really having to work at becoming more open about my writing with people in my non-writing world.

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  2. I tell everyone I'm a writer:)) And then a grandma and mom and a wife:)

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  3. I have trouble calling myself a writer even though I write website copy and get paid for it. At the moment, I am a student and a daughter and an aspiring musician.

    I agree with you about the stay-at-home moms... my mother decided to become one and homeschool all of us, and it was the right decision for her.

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  4. I tell people I am an author and mother - even though I do have a day job that earns a paycheck. And for years that is the title I gave myself. But, I don't even mention it very often because I prefer author and mother, with hopes of quitting the day job sometime.

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  5. Aw yes, I have this same dilemma. I usually tell people I'm a stay-at-home mom. (You are right! I'm not "just a mom," it's a hard and very rewarding job. But if they ask about how I spend my time I'll add that I'm a writer. I love that I can be both.

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  6. Definitely a writer. No other title would accurately fit.

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  7. I don't think of myself as a writer. I'm too new. I suppose I'm a wife, mother, pastor's wife, Attendance Clerk/Registrar (at a school), and...writer. ;)

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  8. I have a very similar title for myself, and finally I'll be making some money with my writing. :) It's a beautiful thing!

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  9. Good morning!

    Julie J: It's tough, isn't it? I don't know why! Plumbers and lawyers don't have a problem saying it!

    Terri: Yay! All great titles!

    Abby: Love your titles. Very interesting!

    Amy: That's so funny! Maybe we give ourselves the titles we like best?

    Natalie: It's wonderful that we can wear many hats in today's world, isn't it? What a blessing!

    Joanne: Nice!

    Sherrinda: Funny--when does it click in, right? Those are awesome titles!

    Michelle: Woo-hoo! Congratulations! Cinders is on its way!


    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  10. Wife, homeschool mom, bookkeeper and writer. Though I'm very tempted to reverse the last two. I'm a bookkeeper by necessity, and a writer by choice, so I tend to put bookkeeper first.

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  11. Seems to be mostly a female problem. Men don't seem to have a problem defining themselves. If you ask Himself what he is or does, he'll tell you he's a teacher. He's a dad too, but he doesn't factor that into the equation. Somehow women have to justify themselves.

    I tell people I'm a calligrapher and lettering artist. The honorific "Mom" belongs to my private life.

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  12. I generally avoid the "what do you do for a living" questions, and sometimes have had acquaintances for a few years before I even know what they do. I think this is because for many years when I said "stay at home mom" I was often rubbed the wrong way by some not so nice comments. I think that we are all supermoms, whether we work outside the home, or in the home.
    I've had poetry, short stories and devotions published, but I'm still shy of that "so what do you do?" question. I like being a writer, and a mom, and a pet-lover, cat rescue volunteer, Sunday School teacher, softball catcher, friend, daughter, wife, neighbor, Christian, etc. so I guess I'm that "don't want to be locked in a box" type.

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  13. Hmmm. I wear so many hats, just Patti, the Normal Novelist works.
    Or just plain Patti.
    What a great article! I like your style.
    Blessings,
    Patti

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  14. Oh no...I can't label myself right now. I rarely tell people I'm a writer and I even stumble over stay-at-home mom sometimes. I think right now I am a work in progress. But I'm definitely working toward something, even if it's only the courage to feel like I have a real job in writing (even if I don't get paid).

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  15. Erica: Oh, go ahead and switch those last two. How many books did you get published this year anyhow?? Three? You can put writer before book-keeping!

    CJ: Oh, I agree! It's definitely a woman thing! Ha!

    Tyrean: Cool! I love that you defy being boxed!

    Patti: The normal novelist? Love it!

    Cindy: You and I are in such similar circumstances. I hear you!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  16. I am a writer, but many other things that enhance this writing life. For starters, I am a Christian, wife, mom, grandma, former homeschool mom, sister and friend...to name a few:)
    Blessings for your week,
    Karen

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  17. I have to admit, I am not a fan of boxes or titles. I find them constricting. I am so much more than anyone one titled at anyone time. Mother, teacher, reader, writer, boxer, runner, wife, lover, rebel, rule breaker, follower, leader, survivor, Christian, etc etc... how do you put all that in a box? :)

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  18. Hi Jill -

    I'm a Christian, who writes, loves her family and friends, enjoys gardening and antiquing.

    Blessings,
    Susan :)

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  19. Karen: I didn't know you were a homeschool mom--it's a trend among our blogger friends--very cool!

    Tabitha: Love your list! And you're right, we all have eclectic facets to our personalities.

    Susan JR: Antiquing? Sounds fun! I love gardening too. We're currently drowning in zucchini!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  20. Great post!

    I'm...
    a working-mom-aspiring-author.

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  21. Well I work and my kids are now on their own, but I guess my best title now would be Nana. I'm proud of that. That I also write is just extra. I did once put "writer" as occupation in my 20 year class reunion booklet. That was when I was gung ho to win the prize of published author.

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  22. Jill:
    I am a Christian, a wife and mother, I am a writer. While I have been published. Those were very small magazines. My first time was with the publishing arm of our former denomination. It was a small piece. The others were in a now defunct regional literary magazine.
    People know I write. The first time our pastor called me a 'published author' I almost chocked.

    We write because God gave us this gift. If we make money, that's good. But we write because He tells us to.

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  23. Kelly: Nice title! :)

    Nancy: Nana...aww! Love it! You're a beautiful writer too!

    Quiet Spirit: Very true. We do write because He tells us too!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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