Jill Kemerer: encouragement

Showing posts with label encouragement. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

New Year Philosophy: Do! Craft! Share! Guest Johnnie Alexander

Today we have a special guest blogger, Johnnie Alexander, author of Where Treasure Hides, and she's sharing a lovely message I'm taking to heart. Join me in welcoming Johnnie!

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New Year Philosophy: Do! Craft! Share!

In the weeks approaching January 1^st, everyone seemed to be talking about resolutions, goals, and choosing “one word.” Blog posts, loop emails, Facebook updates, and conversations abounded with shoulds and shouldn’ts, advice and encouragement, plans and intentions.

So, like many of you, I made my resolution (more water, more motion), set my goal (5000 words a week till I type “The End” on my manuscript), and chose my word (a symbol actually, an acorn, which signifies potential, possibility, hope, and stability).

But this year, thanks to an answer to prayer, I’m also choosing to embrace a philosophy.

The date is Wednesday, December 17^th. My faded green sweatshirt is zipped against the morning’s chill as I watch water gush from the hose into a watering tank. The alpacas are behind me, comfortably grazing from a large mound of hay, and assorted chickens scratch in the dirt and squawk at each other.

It’s a great time for praying, and I’m thinking ahead to this blog post. What can I say that’s new to those who may be weary of resolutions, goals, and seeking that one word for the year?

An hour later, snug in the kitchen and eating my cereal, I read a Joy to the (Writer’s) World! by literary agent Karen Ball. These words grip my heart:

“Too often, we writers get so tangled in all the “must dos” that we lose sight of what’s really important:

Doing the task God has given us
Crafting words steeped in His truth and spirit
Sharing the message He’s given us with a weary, terrified world . . .”

Wise words.

And an answered prayer.

After all, Karen’s advice is timeless, and it isn’t only for writers.

It’s for teachers and salespeople, hardworking moms and dads, those who work with their hands, and those who sit behind a desk.

Whatever our calling, our profession, our career, our ministry, we can do the task we have been given, craft whatever we do so that the One who gives us our gifts and talents is glorified, and share with those who need what we have to offer.

This year, I encourage you to keep your resolutions, achieve your goals, and focus on that significant one-word.

But I also encourage you to join me in embracing this simple philosophy:

Do! Craft! Share!

{A special thanks to Karen Ball for touching my heart with her words and for her gracious permission to use them in this post.}

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Johnnie, I couldn't agree more! It's easy to get caught up in a crazy I-should-be-doing-this phase. I have a card on my bulletin board that says, "I Write For God." It reminds me not to worry about sales and social media and the perfect book. Thanks so much for being my guest today, Johnnie!

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Where Treasure Hides ~

Artist Alison Schuyler spends her time working in her family’s renowned art gallery, determined to avoid the curse that has followed the Schuyler clan from the Netherlands to America and back again. She’s certain that true love will only lead to tragedy—that is, until a chance meeting at Waterloo station brings Ian Devlin into her life. Drawn to the bold and compassionate British Army captain, Alison begins to question her fear of love as World War II breaks out, separating the two and drawing each into their own battles. While Ian fights for freedom on the battlefield, Alison works with the Dutch Underground to find a safe haven for Jewish children and priceless pieces of art alike. But safety is a luxury war does not allow. As time, war, and human will struggle to keep them apart, will Alison and Ian have the faith to fight for their love, or is it their fate to be separated forever?

Where Treasure Hides is currently available as an ebook. The print edition releases August 2015.

Interested in purchasing Where Treasure Hides? Go to Amazon (linked).

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About Johnnie ~

Johnnie Alexander is the author of Where Treasure Hides which won the ACFW Genesis Contest (2011 Historical Fiction). The first of her three contemporary romances, tentatively titled Into a Spacious Place, releases from Revell in January 2016.

She also has won the Best Novel and Best Writer awards at the Florida Christian Writers Conference and is a 2012 Bronze Medalist in the My Book Therapy Frasier Contest.

A graduate of Rollins College (Orlando) with a Master of Liberal Studies degree, Johnnie lives in the Memphis area with a small herd of alpacas, her dogs Rugby and Skye, and assorted other animals. Visit Johnnie’s Blog, Facebook and Twitter.

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Do you get caught up worrying about things you should do?

Have a terrific day!

One Word for 2015

This is the first time in years I've gotten through the holidays and felt energized and excited. We had almost a week of downtime at home, and it made a huge difference in my attitude. I'm more than ready to tackle my to-do list this January! But first, I'm sharing my one word for the year.

This is my fourth year of praying for one word. In mid-December I began praying for God to lead me to a word to focus on in 2015. Within a short time one started flashing to me, but I didn't fully trust it, so I prayed off and on for another week. That word wouldn't go away!

My previous words were Peace, Trust, and Dream. I was a little scared of the word "victory." What if I got my hopes up too much and relied on victories that God never intended? Or what if it made me feel entitled? Self-absorbed? Arrogant?

Don't get me wrong, I didn't want to hear "struggle" as my word! We all have enough of that, don't we?. :) But hearing a good word can be just as daunting.

I always search for a Bible passage to memorize and cling to throughout the year. The one I found gave me reassurance.

1 Corinthians 15:57 "But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

Once I read it, my worries disappeared. All of our victories are through our Lord Jesus Christ.

What a wonderful truth. Everything we do and have are through Jesus. These simple words took a load off my shoulders. One of my goals in 2015 is to continue the practice of reading two chapters of the Bible each morning before prayer. It centers me, reassures me, keeps my anxieties at a lower level. If I go too many days in a row without this time with the Lord, I get nervous and twitchy. It's not good.

If you're starting the new year on empty with a list of goals a mile long, I urge you to rest a few hours, or an entire day, if possible. I needed a few days away from the daily grind. It refreshed me in the best possible way.

Have you ever tried focusing on one word for the year?

If you'd like to try it, spend time in prayer and try not to be in a hurry. It usually takes me more than a week until I'm certain of my word.

Happy 2015!!

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Writers at the Crossroad: Success, Indecision, and Failure

Novelists are self-employed, and this freedom brings constant decisions. Sometimes it feels we're always at a crossroad.

Do I turn right and work on this idea even though it's not my current genre?

Do I stay straight and keep doing what I'm doing?

Do I make a left and enter this contest/query this agent/try this critique partner?

Do I cut through that field and try a different publishing path, knowing there isn't a clear destination at the end?

Or we can get stuck at the four-way-stop, so unsure of our next step we don't move forward. Maybe we let life get in the way of opening our manuscript. Or doubt prevents us from taking the chance in front of us.

When we're riding on a high (we finished writing our best book yet, landed an agent, placed in a contest, gotten another request, signed a three-book deal), it's not difficult to continue forward, excited in our dream, sure of our end goal.

I've zoomed along the writing highway, made brief stops at the four-way-stop, and continued forward. The one place a writer doesn't ever want to be? On the side of the road with a flat tire and no service station for twenty miles.

I've gotten that flat tire. Almost three years ago, my mom called and told me my dad was diagnosed with dementia. We also learned he had Parkinson's disease. On top of that I got rejections from every editor looking at my novels--all in one week. I was only days away from typing The End on another manuscript, so I forced myself to finish, but afterward I took a month off.

That month was my flat tire. I felt lost, alone, depressed. I prayed a lot about my career and my parents. Did God really want me to write? Or had I let my pride and vanity dictate my future? The Bible passage about man making plans but God determining the steps kept slapping me in the face. I wrestled with doubt. Maybe writing wasn't my calling. Because if it was, wouldn't I be finding some success at it?

Well, here it is, years later, and I'm still stopping at crossroads on a regular basis. Still questioning my next step. Still wrestling with doubt as to what my life is all about.

Boy, I wish my faith could be as strong as steel. I wish I believed in myself and my journey with ninety-nine percent confidence instead of seventeen percent, or, some days, less than one percent. I wish I didn't doubt myself and God's plan for my life.

My prayers always lead me to continue writing. My weaknesses, my doubts keep me humble. They remind me I'll never be perfect. And the Bible assures me I'm not alone in following a winding path. Many of God's servants faced huge obstacles on their journeys.

Next time you're at a crossroad, remind yourself success does NOT equal God's love. God loves us whether we're riding high, paused in indecision, or crushed at the side of the road. And keep praying! Even when you're a miserable mess. Especially when you're a miserable mess! God will make your paths straight.

Have you questioned your life journey when success eluded you?

Have a fantastic day!!

Have a Blessed Easter

One of my favorite songs right now is "I Am" by Crowder. Since today is Good Friday, I thought I'd share it with you. Here's the acoustic version.

God's love never changes, and He is always here for us even when we feel alone. May you be blessed this Easter weekend!!

Any new music speaking to you lately?

(I've been unearthing some oldies from Janet Jackson and Rascal Flatts lately. Good times!)

Have a wonderful Easter!

Ah, Choices

On Monday, I was stressed. I've been worried about my parents. Mom and I met in Lansing to start planning her financial future, and on the way, I ordered a non-healthy value meal from McDonald's, including a large Coke (my absolute favorite!).

I arrived in town about half an hour early, so I stopped at a gas station for a coffee. But I didn't buy a coffee--no, I bought a large cappuccino, a bag of M&Ms, and a very-berry Starburst.

Considering I'm trying to firm up to fit into my summer clothes, these were poor choices. However, when I'm emotionally fragile, I turn to sugar.

I ate half the Starbursts, drank most of the coffee, and let the M&Ms live to see another day. They're in my purse as we speak.

The meeting went well--thank goodness--and I ate a light dinner that night. Yesterday I went grocery shopping, and stocked up on fruits, vegetables, yogurt, cheese, and other healthy snacks. While I contemplated buying a lemon, I asked myself, "Are you getting healthy?" The answer was "yes." Slices of lemon in sparkling water help me bypass soda. So I threw the lemon in my cart.

None of these choices are exciting, but we all read magazine articles encouraging us to not let a set-back keep us from our health goals. I have a LOT of setbacks! But I try to not get down on myself. I usually make better choices the next day. If I can do it, anyone can!

Do you struggle with eating healthy, exercising, or another area of your life? How do you bounce from a bad choice?

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

Pick Yourself Up, Dust Yourself Off...

Funny how when you're down, you think life can only get better and then it implodes. Like a few years ago when I got a particularly painful rejection on my son's birthday and promptly stepped in dog poop. You narrow your eyes and think, real funny. Yeah.

But crazily enough, sometimes life gets so bad, so traumatic, so painful that the only thing you can do is either give up or, like the song says, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again. ("Pick Yourself Up" by Jerome Kern and lyrics by Dorothy Fields.)

My father went from mild dementia to late stages of Alzheimer's in the blink of an eye.

The last two years have been difficult for me for many reasons. But if you're a believer, you can see God's goodness in it all. The little signs He sends to comfort you. The people who go out of their way to be kind just when you need it the most. There have been so many upsides in every downside.

I was raised in faith. It's a blessing to be able to talk about God with my family. We live in such a broken, decayed world, and I don't question why my wonderful, smart, kind dad has this disease. I know he still believes. I know he's going to heaven. And I know that God is with him every second of every day.

So many times I've doubted my calling, my decisions about pursuing writing as a career. But those doubts have never been from God. They've been from my own feeling of inadequacy, my impatience, my desire to contribute to our family's income, my deflated pride.

God's strength IS made perfect in weakness. I'm still excited to write. I'm still thrilled to spend time with my dad.

Last week I had a good day. Then a series of ridiculousness bombarded me, starting with a call from the high school's trainer, moving to a flat tire, and ending with feeling like a moron at a mandatory high school meeting. And you know what? I laughed. It didn't seem so bad. That's what God can do. He can take the weight of life and fill you with peace that surpasses all understanding. By the way, Peace is my word for 2014. God is faithful.

Phillipians 4:6-7 (NIV)

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Next time you're overwhelmed, pray for God's peace. It really does transcend all understanding.

Thank you so much for all the kind words and support.

Celebrating Small Successes: 2 Minute Resolutions Vlog

The 2 Minute Resolutions vlog series is back!

Today I'm sharing how to be mindful of small successes and why celebrating them is important.

September 2013: Celebrating Small Successes 2 Minute Resolutions

Do you celebrate small successes? Share your story!

Have a fabulous weekend!!

Conditioning. Not Just For Athletes.

My son plays baseball, and this year he's pitching. After the first game he pitched, his shoulder was sore. Naturally, I went online for remedies.

Whenever I go online for a "quick solution" to a problem, I get caught up in tangents. One interesting article might feature a link slightly off-topic that I have to read. Before I knew it, four hours had gone by. Yes, I had options to treat his sore arm, but even better, I found ways to prevent it from happening again. Yay!

What I learned did not surprise me. Baseball players need to condition regularly--almost every day--if they want to improve their skills and avoid injuries. Conditioning doesn't guarantee a pain-free season, but it reduces the odds of soreness, and it improves the player's overall performance.

My son and I came up with a workout plan for days he doesn't have games or practices. It's easy to follow, his arm hasn't hurt since that first game, and his pitching continues to improve.

This is what we do on off days:

1. Walk and jog for thirty minutes. We have a great route that allows us to walk 1.25 miles and jog 0.75 miles.
2. Five minutes of "form" exercises to improve balance and overall accuracy.
3. Play catch for twenty minutes.
4. Once or twice a week, my husband or I will have him pitch twenty to thirty pitches to us.

Why am I willing to give up an hour of my day three-four times a week?

Easy! My son and I now have a regular exercise routine that has a larger purpose.

1. In the past when I said, "hey, let's go exercise," I did not get an enthusiastic, "okay!" in return. But my son actually comes to me now with, "Mom, we need to run and play catch." I don't have to nag about watching too much television or playing video games. He's motivated because he wants to be the best and knows it will improve his performance.

2. I spend hours every day sitting and typing on my computer. I need to get out and exercise! Our jog/walk relieves stress, keeps me in shape, and gives me much-needed fresh air. Tossing the ball forces me to develop muscles I'm sure I've never used. Plus, my eye-hand coordination has improved.

3. Making this a non-negotiable part of our day has helped me organize my time.

4. I've always loved being with my kids, and working out with my tween son is a way we can stay connected. As he grows older, I'll continue to look for ways to spend time with him.

5. It's helped me overcome my childhood fear of getting hit by a ball. Two years ago, I could NOT play catch. I was scared of the ball, didn't understand the mitt concept, and cowered when a ball came my way. But I decided I had to get over that--my husband can't be the only one in our house to play catch with our son. My hubby and son taught me how to throw, how to catch, and toned down their laughter at my pitiful attempts. Just this week I got clipped in the knee by a ball, but I shook it off. I've had several nasty bruises due to failed catching attempts. I do not let that stop me.

My son will continue to train and condition off-season. When you get to a higher level in sports, you can no longer afford to take months off between seasons. He understands that winter means hopping on the treadmill and tossing the ball in our basement. The workouts will be less intense, but they will be regular.

I also condition myself for writing.

Every weekday I do writing related tasks. I either write, revise, plot, or study a book on the writing craft. I do this because I know it will improve my performance.

When you get to a higher level in writing, you can no longer afford to take months off between books. A handful of times a year I'll take a week or two off. Christmas, our summer vacation, when I'm feeling burned out--we all need true vacations. But even if I took a longer period off of writing or revising, I would be reading books in my genre, studying craft books, jotting down and exploring story ideas.

Just like my son conditions for a higher purpose, I keep everything writing-related a top priority in my life so I don't fall into a slump or lose the hard-earned writing muscles I've honed. I want to be my best, and that means consistency, dedication, and focus.

What motivates you? Do you condition for anything in your life?

Have a fabulous Wednesday!!

Need Inspiration? Find Inspiring Friends!

A slump. The doldrums. Listlessness.

You know--the middle of winter with no spring flowers in sight?

It's not easy to stay inspired.

Ever since January 1, 2013, I've been inspired and I've stayed there. No, I don't have supernatural powers. I have no exciting developments in the works. I can't even attribute the success to my usual culprits--Coke and chocolate.

When I thought about why this year was different, why this year I've managed to stay on top of my goals and not get down about where I want to be as opposed to where I am, I can attribute it to two things.

1. I'm surrounded by people who inspire me.
2. I surround myself with things that inspire me.

I've contacted several good writer friends regularly over the last six weeks, and each of them is taking on a new challenge. I love hearing the excitement in their voices. I anticipate getting e-mails on their progress. And I applaud their willingness to try something new, something a little scary, something without any guarantees.

Hearing their go-get-em attitude boosts my own. Worry disappears. That bud of an idea in my head, the one I've pooh-poohed for a few years? Maybe it's time. No, it IS time.

The negative side of me throws up objections. That's when I go beyond my friends to the things that inspire me. I listen to positive music. I read Bible passages and say affirmations. I set lofty goals each day, and I do my best to meet them.

I'm convinced worry and doubt keep us from our goals. They are killers. We allow these insecurities to dig a grave for our most precious dreams.

It doesn't have to be that way! We can fight the negativity. Ignore the doubts. Set fire to the inactivity holding us back.

Think of a friend or acquaintance who inspires you. Contact her (or him). Ask her what she's working on. Let her enthusiasm light your own. Gather a slew of tools to keep you inspired. Music, books, quotes, a pretty picture, magazines, videos, flowers--I don't care! Just make it happen!

How do you stay inspired? Do you have a go-to person who encourages you?

Have a terrific Wednesday!

Let Hope Blossom

If you remember, I've talked about the faith challenges I've faced this year in my post, When God's Plans and Your Plans Don't Mesh. The new year brought a series of setbacks, then we sold our house, bought a new one, remodeled, and enrolled our children in a new school district. Life fell into place, but I wasn't quite myself. I'm still not quite myself.

To be honest, I push through each day, and while some days are fine, others leave me discouraged, pessimistic, hard to be around.

2012 was a winter season.

I have plenty of things to be thankful for, and I'm very grateful. I have been all year. But being grateful and feeling joyful are two different things.

A handful of good writer friends kept my spirits up with our chats, texts, and e-mails. Recently, I spent Thanksgiving weekend with my sister, her family, and my parents. I don't know if it was a combination of all this, but at some point last week, the layer of snow covering my optimism melted.

I felt hope stir.

I didn't realize how much I missed hope--that glorious, energy-giving sensation--until those tiny tendrils broke loose. When they did, I nourished them and hope did not wither. It blossomed.

Really, nothing specific happened. I think God granted me grace with the promise of spring.

Sometimes everything in your life should add up to 100% happiness, but it doesn't, and you don't have a good explanation for it. That's okay. Just keep getting up and doing what you're supposed to do. Winter will pass. Spring will come. When it does, let hope blossom.

Looking back, how would you describe your year?

Have a wonderful weekend!!

Little Things and Contentment

Yesterday I had one of those rush, rush, rush days. The kind where you try to fit it all in--making a grocery list, buying the groceries, VOTING, finishing laundry, and, oh yeah, there's a ton of apples in the fridge and you should probably do something about them before they spoil.

Well, I did make the grocery list. I bought the groceries. I voted. I finished the laundry. I even peeled 25 apples and made applesauce out of them. When I finally sat down to write, it was 2:30 pm, and I knew I had a lasagna to make and library books to pick up. I didn't think I'd be able to meet my goal, but I fired up my laptop and figured any words were better than none.

I did meet my writing goal. It felt good. But what really brought a warm blanket of contentment over me were all the little things I'd accomplished throughout the day.

Sometimes the small tasks snowball and push a huge pile of anxiety on my chest. No, the world won't stop turning if I have to throw out a few apples, but it will bother me. I hate being wasteful. And, sure, I could leave the laundry for tomorrow, but I don't enjoy putting things off that I can get done now.

My heart is also smiling because I have a refrigerator full of healthy food. I don't have to fold clothes because they're all folded. And I'm that much further on my current work-in-progress.

What a blessing to have the little things. :)

What little things could you do today to bring contentment?

Have a terrific Wednesday!!

Jill's Happy Five! Oct 12, 2012

I love Fridays!

In an effort to find gratitude and joy in the smallest places, I'm sharing my week's Happy Five--the five things that made me happy this week--vloggy style!

What makes your Happy Five list this week?

Have a fun weekend!

Change the View!

My good friend invited me to a Global Leadership Summit being held at her church last week. This conference was simulcast to tens of thousands of people across the U.S. and even more worldwide. To say I walked away inspired would be understating it.

All summer I've struggled with feeling too busy, too tired, too everything! Moving to a new town and starting over is wonderful, but it's also intimidating. My viewpoint had narrowed until I could only see the stresses before me. The conference changed that. It forced my eyes back open to this vast world, and my heart smiled at the view.

Don't get me wrong, the speakers spoke of terrible injustices, persecution that brought tears to my eyes. But they also spotlighted the amazing work God is doing through leaders throughout the world.

One woman helps free enslaved people in India. A man shared how he and his brother, as teenagers, founded a non-profit organization to rally youth to help fight injustice around the world. We heard from church leaders, political figures, and others who dedicate their days building God's church through the talents they've been given.

When it was over, instead of looking out of the tiny crack I'd been seeing life, I shifted to stare out the picture window. If anything, I am reaffirmed in my belief that our lives are not our own. We are all called according to God's purpose.

I haven't been called to do foreign mission work. I haven't been led to sponsor a child. I don't see myself in the roles many others currently fill. But that doesn't mean my part in building God's church is any less important.

God says in 1 Corinthians 12: 14, 18-19 (NIV) "Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body."

And just as I honor my role, I also pray about it. I pray that God leads me to know and fulfill His will. I've noticed that one step often puts me on a path I didn't plan, but each mile brings me closer to where I'm supposed to be. It's good to pray each day to make sure we're where God wants us.

Does your view ever narrow until you can only see your problems? Can you pray today for God to help widen your view? You won't regret it!

Have a fantastic Wednesday!

When God's Plans and Your Plans Don't Mesh

Almost five years ago, we purchased our current home. At the time we had four days to find a house and three weeks to move in. It narrowed our options. But God provided and we found a home that fit our needs.

We promptly painted walls and added a beautiful deck. As time wore on and we were able to save
money for other projects, we added more landscaping and finished our basement. But 18 months ago, my husband's commute grew much longer--almost double his previous commute--and we decided to put our house up for sale. We were going to build a new home in our school district but closer to my husband's job.

We had many intentions and good, solid plans, but as the months wore on of multiple house showings and no offers, I kept getting the impression God was telling me something. In January, I had a series of disappointments in life, and on top of that, my husband admitted he wanted to eliminate his commute and move much closer to his job, like minutes away.

My brain could not process this. Moving would mean putting our kids in new schools. It would mean leaving my dear, dear friends from church. It would mean giving up the volunteer duties at school that I love.

It would mean starting over. Again.

I wasn't ready to even consider it. My insides sobbed--we've lived in 9 homes in the last 14 years--but I prayed about it and told my husband I would at least think about it. My stubborn little heart could barely touch on the subject at that point. Shortly after, my prayer sessions made me realize God kept calling me to put my dreams--all of them, including my publishing and personal dreams--into His hands. And I did.

Some days I doubted. Many days I couldn't even think about any of it. Twelve hours before our realty contract expired (we were going to take the house off the market and stay in our current home if the house didn't sell in 6 months), we received the house offer that changed everything.

The tough shell around my heart cracked open. I finally was ready to hear God's plan.

The last month has been wonderful, challenging, terrifying, and stressful. My beautiful daughter made vows before God in a confirmation ceremony. My son continues to impress me with his empathy and athletic skills. My friends have helped me over and over. My family has kept me from going over the edge (thanks Sarah and Mom!). And my relationship with my husband is stronger than ever.

It's funny how God works. We've put offers on three homes. The first sold the day before we made our offer. The second was truly my dream home, but we didn't get it. We're still waiting to hear on the third, which needs a ton of TLC.

Yesterday, a beautiful lot on the street we originally wanted to build right here in our school district came on the market. I knew exactly why it came up. It was God's way of asking, "Do you still want it your way? If you do, it's available. But if you're willing to do it My way, you won't be sorry."

I don't know where we're going to live. I don't know how this adventure will end. But I do know that God opened my heart to embrace His plan, and there is peace in not knowing what my future holds. All that matters is that God's the One holding it.

I'll keep you posted on what's happening in my life. It's going to be an exciting summer, that's for sure!

Have you ever had different plans than God's? How did you get through it? Did anything surprise you about the process?

Have an amazing weekend!!

WSG 9: Always Dream

Writer's Survival Guide 9: Always Dream

I just finished reading a short interview with Kristi Yamaguchi, the Olympic gold medal figure skater. Featured in the April issue of Family Circle, the article concentrated on how Kristi balances family and work (she's published the New York Times Best Selling children's book, Dream Big, Little Pig!). Her motto, "Always Dream," resonated with me.

It got me to thinking about what kind of attitude we can take:

Who am I to want that?

or

Why not me?

Ever since fourth grade, I've been a "Why not me" gal. Here's why.

In the middle of third grade, my family moved to a small town at the bottom of Indiana. It was my first foray into the public school system. The day I started school, I made a comment about how thin the reading book was (at my old school, I'd spent the entire year bumped up a grade for reading, and our text was thick).

In this classroom, students were divided into three reading groups--low, middle, and advanced. There were two or three kids in the low group, a dozen in the middle, and six or seven in the advanced. The teacher had overheard my comment, and he promptly put me in the low reader group, with the warning, "you're going to have to work hard if you want to read with the middle group."

Honestly, the teacher didn't like me, and his attitude soon spread throughout the classroom. I spent the rest of the school year without a single friend. I did work hard in the low group, which was self-taught. We selected kindergarten level books, read them, and took short quizzes. He never worked with the low group. He spent all of his time with the middle and advanced groups.

Life in this new school bewildered me. Was I dumb? Why was I reading such simple stories? And why did all of the kids act like I didn't exist? I had gotten along well with my classmates at previous schools.

I worked very hard to move to the coveted middle reading group, and about a month before school ended, the teacher bumped me up. I was thrilled to take part in the discussions, but even when I answered his questions, I would often get a stern look or a snide comment. Only once did I ever get a sticker (I still remember it was a grape scratch n' sniff) for doing a good job. The kids no longer ignored me, but they didn't befriend me either.

It took years before I realized there was nothing wrong with me, that a teacher had held my fate in his hands, and he'd abused it. But before I came to that realization, something changed within me.

We moved back to Michigan that summer, and from fourth grade on, I knew deep within me, that I was good enough. My attitude morphed from "Who am I to want that?" to "Why not me?" at every level. I no longer feared trying out for things. I no longer stressed constantly over friends. I'd survived six months with zero friends--I knew I could survive anything.

Over the years, I've come across other tainted people who have tried to mess with my sense of self-worth, but they couldn't. Sometimes I think I've been exposed to a higher percentage of such people than the average person! But always, always, I've stood firm in my belief in myself.

God plants a seed within us, and this seed assures us that no matter what is going on around us, we are perfect in His sight. It allows us to be honest with ourselves. I know my shortcomings, and I know my strengths. No one can convince me one of my strengths is a weakness.

So what does this have to do with the motto, "Always Dream?"

Whatever you crave, whatever you're striving for--it's possible. Never let anyone tell you you're less than what you are. Never let anyone convince you dreams are for other people, for smarter people, for better people.

You're here for a reason.

Always Dream.

Have you dealt with bias in your life?

Enjoy your Monday!

Writers, Time, and Social Networking

The comments from Wednesday's post opened my eyes to how pressured many writers feel today about marketing, building and maintaining a platform, and how it affects the time they spend writing.

I get it.

We already struggle to find time to write; adding all of the social media responsibilities takes even more of our precious minutes away. The tug-of-war between doing what we love, writing, with something that feels vague and at times uncomfortable , social networking, exhausts us.
Maybe we want to hear, "you don't need to do anything but write a good book," from the experts? Maybe it would be nice to hear, "all that social media stuff is just a bunch of hoopla." Maybe we even long for, "the right book will sell itself."

Maybe, ten years ago, we would have heard all these and more.

But times have changed. Publishing has changed. Most of all, the competition has changed.

We are now competing against millions of other writers who are just as eager, even desperate, to get their books published and in front of readers. Yes, we need to write a good book. But even that sometimes isn't enough. There are plenty of good writers out there. Judge a contest. Head to your fellow writers' blogs. Good writing isn't scarce.

Building a strong platform doesn't guarantee a writer will land an agent or clinch a contract. It doesn't even mean she will sell 10,000 books. We can have a fabulous blog, a ton of Facebook fans, a huge Twitter following, a well-crafted book, and still not get any interest in our queries. That's one reason many writers have opted to self-publish. They've done everything "right" and still can't get a foot in the door.

I'm not saying this to discourage, not at all. It's just good to keep things in perspective. Writing isn't about earning a degree and landing a job. It's not about annual performance reviews and raises. We aren't employees. We're entrepreneurs. That's right, we're business owners, and our business is more than just our writing.

Imagine you're a chef. You decide to open a small restaurant. You find the perfect location, renovate it, create a menu, hire employees, put up a website, and advertise it. You easily spend 80 hours a week to start this venture, and when it opens, you continue to devote well over the conventional 40 hours per week there.

Why are you willing to spend so much time and energy at it? Because you love cooking and you want people to recognize your food. Sure, you could work as a chef at someone else's restaurant, but for some reason, your heart calls you to cook the meals you want to cook.

We could write for someone else. We could ghostwrite someone else's stories and not worry about all the social media. We could write content for a large company or type up technical manuals. But most of us have a powerful desire to write the books we want to write. It's not just about the writing. It's about our writing.

We say we just want to write. The chef might just want to cook. But he knows to make his business successful, he has to do more--much more--than just cook each night. He either does all the extra tasks like managing, advertising, accounting, and purchasing, or he hires someone else to do it. He doesn't have the luxury of "just cooking" anymore.

Don't you think it's worth it when he walks out into the dining room on a Friday night and sees a line out the door and every table filled? Will he wonder if he advertised enough? If the website was worth it? I doubt it. And since his food is divine, the customers can't wait to tell their friends about the delicious meal they had. More customers come. Ah, the beauty of word of mouth.

On the other hand, if he doesn't advertise at all, he might head into the dining room that same Friday night and see three customers, all family members. He might regret not putting the ad in the paper or forking over the money for a website.

But the food is good, right? Yeah, but no one is there to eat it. No one is spreading the word. Even if he starts advertising now, it might be too late. Restaurants are a risky start-up, expensive to run, difficult to make a profit at. He won't have much time to build a customer base if he doesn't have deep pockets, and unfortunately, he just wasted the prime time, the store opening, to get those customers in the door.

If you're at all discouraged by the amount of time you spend doing non-writing things for your career, please don't be. You're a business owner. Increasing your potential for profits is part of your job. Think of the time spent networking online as similar to the chef who places an ad in the paper or hands out fliers around town.

Teachers just want to teach. They do much more. They grade papers, create lesson plans, deal with parents.
Actors just want to act. They do much more. They grant interviews, go to red carpet events, travel at inconvenient times.
Doctors just want to help patients. They do much more. They deal with paperwork, insurance, staff.
Engineers just want to design. They do much more. They collaborate with other departments, order materials, create reports, hunt down blueprints.
Writers just want to write. We do much more. We study, query, create proposals, network, market ourselves and our books.

We don't know what tactics will make a difference in our future sales, but we do know we've given it our best shot.

If we reframe the idea of social-networking as part of our job description, we feel less guilty about the amount of time we spend doing it.

Do you consider social networking (blogging, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, e-newsletters, etc...) a smart way to build an audience and possibly grow buzz about your projects? If not, what are smart alternatives to build an audience in today's changing publishing world?

Have a fantastic weekend!

How Do You Keep it Simple?

Have you ever see-sawed between extravagance and simplicity?

One month I'll go all out and stock up on extra groceries, splurge on little happy-makers like candles, and dream about adding expensive items to my wardrobe. The next month I just want to put on a pot of homemade chicken noodle soup, buy as few groceries as possible, and find new ways to wear the clothes I already own.

When I'm in a simple frame of mind, the way I am now, I have little desire to shop. I usually spend more time with non-fiction from the library because current events seem more complicated than I have the energy for. In fact, earlier I perused the online version of the Wall Street Journal, and few headlines grabbed me.

Often, I get more accomplished in this frame of mind. I'm calmer. Less stressed. Instead of thinking about the things I want, I enjoy the things I have. I wish I could keep this mentality going indefinitely, but inevitably, the pendulum swings and I'll be thrilled to walk the aisles of Target once more.

My schedule could never be described as simple, but I add as much peace to my days as possible. Instead of working through lunch, I leaf through a magazine or listen to music. Afternoon tea always happens, even if I work with the tea in my hand. If I can't fit in a full workout, I'll do ten minutes of yoga stretches.

Sure, I have days where nothing feels simple. Well, on those days nothing IS simple! That's okay. Life doesn't have to be perfect. :)

How do you infuse simplicity into your days? What keeps you sane in a hectic world?

Have a fabulous weekend!

WSG 3: Taking Care of Our Needs

Writer's Survival Guide Part 3: Taking Care of Our Needs

The writer's life is a busy one. On top of all our regular responsibilities (work, family, bills, chores, etc...), we're squeezing in writing, revising, story planning, social media, and many other things unique to our career.

Add the dead of winter to the mix and an on-going recession and it's easy to let our personal needs slide until they eventually disappear. (I'm too tired. It's too gray outside. We can't afford it.)

When I started writing, I was excited, so excited about the future. But as time wore on, more ups and downs passed, and, eventually I moved from a perpetual mood of excitement to a gripping hope.

I'm not sure exactly how or when, but during the last years, I neglected some of my needs in the anticipation of getting published, as if somehow a contract would give me the right to need them again.

How dumb! We have to take care of ourselves. Every day. Period.

Now, I live in a more grounded reality, and it's one where I take care of my needs. No more waiting for someday to happen. I have to take care of me NOW.

Your needs will be different than mine. The important thing is to identify what yours are and find ways to fulfill them. Easy, right? Just:

1. Identify what your needs are.
2. Fulfill them.

It's a magic formula, folks. :)

Read through my blog archives and you'll see my needs haven't changed much. Here are some of the things I do to keep my spirits fresh. (In no particular order)

a. Read magazines that inspire me--cooking, home decorating, celebrity gossip, and writing craft magazines keep me dreaming.
b. Listen to soothing music on my iPod. (How hard is it to slap earbuds in and click a button? And yet, too many days go by with me hearing only background noise. Blah.)
c. Care for my skin. I take Fish Oil vitamins to keep my skin clear, nails strong, and hair healthy. I also like to put on a skin mask once a week, use witch hazel as a toner each night, and slather on rich, thick nightcream. All of these tasks take little time and are inexpensive.
d. I make my bed each morning. We have a beautiful bedspread, soft throw, and several accent pillows. I like arranging them. It makes me happy to see my pretty bed.
e. Take a walk outside. Fresh air is vital to my soul. Vital. I don't care what temperature it is outside, I try very hard to take a quick walk. Plus, I like to talk to God outdoors.
f. Keep my tootsies smooth. Maybe this is TMI, but I want my feet to be sandal ready all year long, so I keep a foot file and a small tube of Bath & Body Works lotion by my bed. Less than 60 seconds a night keeps my feet soft.
g. Indulge in homemade treats. I love to bake. I love coffee. I love hot tea. If I want a brownie on a Thursday night, I grab a box mix and have one. I try not to compartmentalize my day with food, nor do I have off-limits treats. Since I know I can have a hot cup of coffee or a cupcake whenever I want, I don't want them as often. :)
h. Check in with friends. Most of us have a group of besties. My sister and my mom are my tight inner circle, but I also have wonderful, close relatives from my husband's side of the family in addition to good friends. I'm not always great about reaching out, but when I do, I feel better. It's good to have friends.
i. Head to the library. The library is my happy place.
j. Dare I say it? Exercise. Yes, I avoid it as much as the next person, but I always feel great after a workout. Go figure.

I could go on and on. If I'm at a point in my life where I can't take an hour to read a magazine, listen to my iPod, or pop a fish oil pill, well, I know things are spiralling out of control. This list is full of simple, cheap or free pleasures.

Sometimes I think we wait for someone to give us permission to take care of ourselves, but we're making a mistake. First of all, they don't know exactly what we need at any given moment, and secondly, we give away our power by expecting others to meet our needs.

We need to meet our own needs. Find a way to incorporate your essentials into each day!

What is one need you neglect? Is there any way you can find a way to meet it this week?

Happy Monday!

One Minute Vacation Time!

On a mid-December Friday, I think we all need a one minute vacation! I plan on taking several today. My mini-vacays rarely surprise me, but they always refresh me, and I'm inviting you to tag along. :)

First stop...beach.

Oh my. Look at that. White sand. Blue skies. Clear water. And the best part? It's empty!

Next up...snacks. Yes, please!

Fuzzy little animals always bring my blood pressure down, so here's a cutie for you.

And another...

And we need a little downtime in a different exotic locale, so we're heading to Paris.

Feeling more relaxed? Inspired? I am!

Where do you turn to when you need a one minute vacation?

Have a wonderful weekend!

Preparing For Success Part 3: Standing Out

Preparing for Success is a three-part series targeted to aspiring writers. Any writer who decides to pursue publication, whether through self-publishing, e-publishing, or traditional publishing enters a crowded, competitive field. For most of us it will be a long, bumpy, confusing ride. If we use our unpublished time wisely, we will stand out from the crowd and our hard work will pay off.

Standing Out

At some point on our journey from aspiring writer to published author, we become aware that half the human population seems to be trying to get published. Agents’ in-boxes are full—they request few manuscripts and take on fewer new authors. Traditional publishers have a limited number of slots to fill each year. New e-publishers pop up monthly, but some are better than others, and many, many writers are self-publishing with mixed results. For every author claiming to make thousands of dollars every day, there are many more who’ve sold less than fifty copies.

So how do we stand out from the crowd? How do we get our manuscripts requested? How can we position ourselves to appeal to publishers? Or if you're considering self-publishing, how can you stand out from the thousands of other books emerging each month?

The most important thing we can do to stand out is to write a good book. That’s why the first two installments in this series are so vital. Without a good book, none of our efforts will matter. The majority of our effort should be on writing, learning, revising, and improving.

Eventually, our writing becomes publishable. We aren’t making newbie craft mistakes. We’ve figured out how to write sympathetic characters and strong plots, and we maintain high tension, fast pacing, and create unique premises. But will this be enough?

By studying blogs, reading articles by industry professionals, and talking to other writers, I’ve found five areas we can use to stand out from the crowd.

Querying

* Research agents and editors. Verify they represent your genre. Read interviews, take notes on their blog posts, and find out who they represent. Follow their query instructions precisely.

* Before you send a query letter for a novel, ask yourself the following:

1. Is my book complete? An agent might request your full the afternoon you send the e-mail. You will look very unprofessional if your book isn't done.

2. Have I gotten feedback on my novel? If you're the only one who has read it, don't query yet. Find a critique partner or hire a freelance editor first.

3. Is my query letter personalized? Do not send a form query to multiple agents.

The Query Letter: Basic Tips

a. Use an easy formula such as Hook, Book, Cook.

* The hook is the paragraph where you write your basic premise in an engaging way. The goal is to make the agent or editor want to read more.

* The book is a paragraph sharing important details such as word count, genre, if it’s one in a series, and if it is completed.

* The cook is a paragraph listing your qualifications to write the book. Include previous writing credits, writing organizations you belong to, if you’re in a critique group, and any other fact that establishes your authority to write the book.

b. Personalize the query. Be specific. Use the agent’s name and give a brief reason why you are querying her.

c. Proofread the query thoroughly before sending it. If possible, have another writer critique it for you.

d. Follow the agent’s query instructions exactly.

Conferences

If you’ve been querying without getting requests, or you aren’t sure who to query, head to a conference. Choose one that offers agent and editor appointments, and research the agents and editors first. Pitching in person increases your odds of getting a request. Even if no one requests your book, they’ll often give you a reason why. This information is priceless! Conferences allow you to make a more complete impression on an industry professional. Plus, the workshops are great places to learn about craft, career, and the industry.

Social Media

a. Many agents write blogs, have Facebook pages, and are active on Twitter. If you aren’t following your target agents, why not? Hundreds of other writers are interacting with your dream agent. Who do you think the agent will notice on a query letter—the writer who comments regularly on the agent’s blog and retweets her posts? Or the complete stranger?

Platform

a. Whatever publishing route you travel, a platform is vital. Platform is basically your audience—the people you can sell your products too.

b. Your product is not just your current book. Your product is your current and future body of work. In some ways, the product is you.
We don’t want to sell just one book, right? We want readers to purchase our future books, pick up our novellas, and spread the word about our writing. This is why I recommend all aspiring authors to build a platform early. Join Facebook, chat on Twitter, read and comment on blogs, start a blog, publish a website, practice speaking in front of your local writer’s group. With time, these will add up to a solid platform.

c. Today’s publishers want to see numbers. They prefer authors who have an audience, even if that audience is small and growing. They also want a great book written on deadline, and they want the author to play a prominent role in selling it.
d. Unfortunate fact: Many agents will not request aspiring writer’s books if the writer does not already have either a website or a blog. Blogs are free, easy to work with, and simple to re-post across social networks. Think about starting one if you haven't already.

e. If you’re considering self-publishing, you need a platform more than the average writer. Hundreds of thousands of books have been self-published on Amazon, Smashwords, and other sites. Few review sites exist, and your book will not be sold in a Walmart, Target, Sam’s Club, or major bookstores. Traditional sales techniques don’t work well when it comes to selling books. You can tweet about how great your book is ten times a day, but you’ll only turn people off. It takes time to understand how social media can help sell your books. And it takes time to build relationships online.

f. If you want to build a platform, but everything about it overwhelms you, read my post, “17 Simple Steps To Build a Fiction Platform.”

Generosity

Publishing is a very small world. You’ll be amazed at how often the same names pop up in blogs, articles, e-mails, conferences, and social media sites. Every day, we have an opportunity to share something good with the world. Be generous, be kind. Every writer is plagued with problems—maybe not every minute—but each phase has its own challenges. We need to support each other. And when we support each other, we can’t help but spread our joy for other writers. Generosity and joy always stand out in the world.

Preparing for success in today's publishing world takes unique skills. It takes courage, confidence, humility. It takes strong writing ability. And it takes being able to market yourself as an author. Many writers have taken these steps and have found the success they longed for. It isn't easy, but it's worth it.

On a happy note, I'm so excited to share this good news with you! Wendy Paine Miller, my dear friend and critique partner, signed with Rachelle Gardner of WordServe Literary Agency this week!! If you get a chance, stop by her blog and congratulate her. She's an amazing writer, and I'm excited to see where her journey takes her! Congratulations, Wendy!

Also, Sarah Forgrave, one of my favorite bloggers, just announced she signed with Mary Keeley of Books & Such Literary Agency! I'm thrilled for Sarah and extra happy to have another agency-mate! Congratulations, Sarah!

Do you have any tips to stand out in this crowded field?

Have a fantastic weekend!!