Creating a Beautiful Life

Sometimes in the middle of life not turning out quite how you expected it, you can get bitter. When you get past bitter, you get sad. Then resigned.

You accept it. You don't like it, but life is what it is and everyone else is destined to have what you want while you sit there--forgotten, unworthy, useless.

Have you been there?

Then something else happens. You poke your head up and see blessings you'd overlooked in your laser-like focus on getting what you want. You see little ways the hard times added to your journey, how they provided opportunities you may have overlooked.

And when you get through bitter, sad, and resigned--you might start to believe the dream isn't dead. There will be no logical explanation for this. Life hasn't changed for the better. In fact, it might be worse.

You read passages like Hebrews 11:6 (NIV) "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him," and you get it. You really get it. You know deep down in your soul that He will come through for you. Maybe not the way you originally thought--but He wants good things for you.

And you look around at the random, odd things that have happened to you on the way to achieving your dream, and you see His hand in it all. And you think, yeah, maybe God is smiling at me. Maybe He's giddy about what He has planned. Maybe this dream of mine will come true.

God has created a beautiful life for me. I'm living it now. It is not perfect, but it's perfect for me. I don't always appreciate it. But every day I come to God in prayer and I trust Him. His Word seems new each time I read it.

I've been a lifelong Christian, but until seven years ago, I didn't pray about my nitty-gritty daily needs and worries. Sure, I prayed general prayers. But my writing journey brought me closer to the Lord, and I started reading wonderful non-fiction books about Christianity. They made me realize how important praying is for ALL aspects of my life.

The more specific I get, the less stressed I feel. Beautiful!

If you're in a bitter, sad, resigned season, I feel for you. Really. I know. I've been there--I still go there sometimes. But I hope you'll look up and see the beauty of God's blessings. Pray. That's the key to creating a beautiful life.

What do you take for granted?

(My list could go on and on--our health, home, clothes, paychecks, food, safety...)

Have a terrific day!

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One Word 2014

Why do I love blogging and people who blog? I've gotten so much great information. One of my fave ideas? The One Word of the year.

This is my third year of focusing on one word, and, I'll be honest, this year's took longer to come to me than the previous years', which were Trust and Dream. Maybe it was the house full of family; maybe I wasn't ready for my word. Who knows?

Three weeks ago I prayed for God to lead me to my word. Saturday, I grabbed my journal, my Bible, and my tiny book of passages. After thumbing through keywords, I jotted a handful down and read through the related passages. Then I read a few of my favorite chapters in the Bible. With my trusty purple pen, I wrote several passages in my journal. A theme arose.

I'm serious about my one word, so I bundled up and went to a nearby park. When I'm outside in nature I hear the Spirit without interruption. I crunched through the snow, wrapped my scarf tightly, and paused near a grouping of bird feeders. And I knew without doubt what my word for 2014 would be.

Peace.

Phillipians 4:6-7 (NIV)

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

This season of my life has brought a lot of unexpected stress. I bring some of it on myself by worrying about silly things. But the bottom line is that I've had to completely surrender to God the last two years, and it's scary. It's still scary!

I've seen so many of my prayers answered, but the big ones (and we all have big prayers, big dreams) have been on hold. When I've wanted to take matters in my own hands (get a part-time job, change the direction of my writing, fix my kids' problems...), I've deep-down known it was not God's will for me. So I'm sitting. Waiting. Writing. Praying. Trusting. Surrendering.

Sure, I could focus on "Miracles" or something about my personal goals, but God has something better for me. Peace in the midst of chaos. Peace in a long, long season of waiting. Peace in my relationships. Peace in our finances. Peace in my own shortcomings.

Instead of focusing on what I don't have or what I want, I can tell God what I need and thank him for all he has done. The thanking part is so important. It's easy to fixate on what I want or what's going wrong. But isn't it wonderful when we remember all we have? When we add up all the miracles already granted? God is such a good God!

I'm excited for 2014. No matter what happens, I know peace is just a prayer away.

What are you focusing on this year?

Have a peace-filled Monday!

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Enrich Your Faith by Chatting with God

I remember as a child swinging on the swingset in our backyard just singing my heart out.  I would belt out, "I Am Jesus' Little Lamb" over and over, as my legs kicked higher and higher.

I felt like I was flying. I felt like I was loved. I couldn't have been more than six or seven years old.


At that time in life, my prayers usually revolved around praying for my family's safety. I really worried about losing my mom, dad, sister, or--just as bad--one of our beloved pets.

I knew God was with me all the time.

As I grew older, that faith didn't waver, but my prayers changed. Friend troubles brought me to my knees many times, and God came through for me, sometimes immediately, giving me peace in my heart and with my friends. My prayers still tended to be when I needed something or at ritual times, like meals and church, but I still knew God was with me all the time.

It wasn't until about seven or eight years ago that a new concept was introduced to me--chatting with God.

What? Chat with God? Wasn't that a little too...informal? Disrespectful, even?

But the book I'd been reading made a good case for daily conversations with our Lord, and I decided to try it. Even if it made me uneasy.

I brewed some tea, headed to my comfy chair, closed the door, and sat there, paralyzed. How does one go about chatting with the Lord? The Almighty? Maker of heaven and earth?

If I was going to have a chance, I was going to have to throw my intimidation to the side and Just. Do. It.

I did. I told God everything on my mind. How my breakfast probably wasn't very healthy. How I worried that living in a new state would negatively affect our children. I told Him about the writing piece I was working on--and I joked with Him--joked!! Then, it just flowed. I felt comfortable. I felt myself. I felt more than myself--I felt accepted. Loved.

Sitting in my bedroom, sipping tea, and mentally sharing my life--all of it--with God brought me to a peaceful place I hadn't known in years. It was like sitting with the worlds' best friend (probably because I was, duh!) Nothing I said was too intimate. I wasn't judged. In fact, I felt precious, better, special.

Every weekday I had "chat-time" with God, until we moved again. I kept up with it for a while, but you know how life is. My comfy chair didn't make the move. The time I always reserved? Was spent carpooling. My soul missed our daily chats, until I found a new routine--a routine that included chatting with God.

Over the years, I find I spend time all day bringing my life to Him. I ask questions, I consult Him, I listen, and yes, I hear answers. For a long time I questioned that--could I really trust that the Holy Spirit was syncing with my spirit to give me answers? Yes. When in doubt, I pray, and I believe I'm always divinely guided.

Chatting with God continues to bring me peace even in difficult circumstances. When you truly believe that everything works for the good of those who love Him, it's easier to get through the dry spells and the tough times.

God wants us to talk to Him. He flat out tells us in Matthew 7:7 (NIV), "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

Psalm 34:4 (NIV) "I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears."

The Bible is filled with references urging us to ask God, seek Him, pray to God.

Never be intimidated to chat with Him. May your faith be enriched! Blessings to you!

Do you have a close relationship with the Lord, one where you're comfortable chatting with Him?

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

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3 Tips to Overcome Disappointment

We all deal with disappointment. Sometimes we deal with it on a daily basis. Maybe at one time our lives sailed along in a way that made sense to us, but a storm directed us somewhere unfamiliar. We adjust to find our destination, but the journey takes a toll. The blue waters that once enchanted now seem endlessly...blue. We're desperate for land, for the sight of a seagull--anything but the sea we're surrounded by.

It's hard when friends or acquaintances not only find land, but they find it quickly and shout out their joy to the world. Yes, we rejoice with them, but we're still in a boat, far away, with no real idea when or if we'll ever find what we're looking for.

Some of us live with disappointment that will not be solved. It might lessen, but it will never go away. A barren womb, the death of a loved one, terminal illness, financial burdens. Life can be ugly.

I've always been fascinated by the idea of contentment. I don't believe contentment is something we find--I believe it's something we practice. How else to explain why some people with extreme wealth don't always enjoy their spoils, or why some people living deep in poverty find joy in so little.

While we strive for contentment, we need to overcome disappointment, and this is not a one-time occurrence. I routinely fight it, often daily. Here's how.

1. Rely on God

Read the Bible. God assures us He created us to be powerful. This isn't to say we should be boastful or proud. It means we do not need to be victims, cowering in a corner, wondering if everyone else is entitled to blessings while we rot.

     2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV) "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline."

Sometimes we are called to wait. Instead of assuming we've been forgotten (even when we have a very long wait), we must remind ourselves that God gave us a spirit of POWER, of LOVE, and of SELF-DISCIPLINE.

When the wait is long, the self-discipline part becomes vital. We must not sink into envy, despair, or martyr-mode. We must make the most of our time and live lives of meaning.

2. Avoid Disappointment Triggers

I've been trying to get published for years. I know my wait has been long, but I also know all the behind-the-scenes blessings the years have given me--things I wouldn't trade for anything. Knowing this doesn't stop my heart from twisting when I see others get what I want. I'm human.

When I'm tired or discouraged, I try not to spend much time on Facebook because that's where I see good news from my writer friends. And when I'm tired or discouraged, these updates do not bring a spirit of power and love and self-discipline to me--they bring out the opposite. Yes, I'm happy for them, but more than that, I'm sad for me. These announcements have a way of pushing me down the spiral staircase of disappointment.

I know my triggers and I avoid them when I'm weak.

You know what you want. Maybe it's a baby. Maybe it's a promotion, a boyfriend, your own home, a dream trip--whatever. When you're having a down day, avoid hanging out where you're bound to hear that someone else just got what you want.

I'm not saying to drop out of life or to hurt people close to you by avoiding them. I'm saying to be smart. Don't put yourself through needless pain.

3. Distract Yourself

We don't have as much control over life as we like to think. Someone trying to get pregnant has little say in if the test comes out positive or negative each month. Working for that promotion? Great, unless your boss hires her best friend. The house you desperately want to buy? Maybe someone puts an offer on it before you save your down payment.

Life doesn't always go our way.

We can't make life go our way.

We can go forward with life.

When I'm weighed down under disappointment, I remind myself I have a choice. I can wallow in it, or I can distract myself. My favorite ways to run from disappointment?

a. Choose to celebrate with my friends who have succeeded, reminding myself someday I will be celebrating too.

b. Read. Sometimes it helps to read about people who have it worse off than you do. For instance, I'm reading George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series (The Game of Thrones television series is based on it). Trust me--everyone in these books has it worse off than you!

c. Listen to uplifting music.

d. Journal. Not the spew-angry kind--I try to journal about what I'm doing to meet my goals or about something pretty or happy. Puts me in a grateful frame of mind.

e. Relax with loved ones. At the end of the day, my husband and kids love me as-is. I have nothing to prove to them, and it's nice to just be me.

f. Press forward. Disappointment has an ugly consequence. It can dupe us into thinking we don't need to work toward our goals any longer. Not true. Keep on.

g. Get away. Go to the mall, walk through a park, drive to a beach, buy some flowers, do anything! Just get out of your bubble for an hour or two.

h. Watch a movie. Movies bring the drama--they prod our emotions, anger us, inspire us. Go ahead, live someone else's life for 90 minutes.

Disappointment can be short-lived or chronic, but we don't have to wallow in it. Fight it! Aim for contentment.

What is one of your disappointment triggers?

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

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One Word for 2013

Last year, Jessica R. Patch asked a question on her blog: what one word can you spiritually focus on all year? A word came to mind instantly--TRUST. 2012 taught me all about trust.

The Lord asked me to put ALL of my trust in him over and over again last year. I'm not perfect. I often struggled to trust, but when I let go, He made changes in my life I couldn't have anticipated. Change and trust are exciting and scary. All I can say is...the Lord blessed me.

Over the last month, I often thought of my word for 2013, and one word would hover near my consciousness, but I would shoo it away. It seemed too painful to be my focus for the new year. Now, I know you'll probably screw your face up and think, is she crazy, how can that be painful? when you see my word. But truly, these five letters seemed too hard, like God was asking too much out of me.

You see, I lived this concept for four full years. I'd gone full out on it. I didn't hold back. And 2012 all but snuffed it out of my vocabulary. When that word came chugging along, I knew what was expected; I knew what God wanted, and I did not want to obey.

I even prayed several times to make sure this really was the focus God wanted me to dwell on. When I heard it over and over, I finally heaved a sigh and relented. Okay, You win. I'll do it.

My word for 2013?

 

If you click on the picture, it will take you to the blog, Only a Breath, where you will find links to other people's words for 2013. Special thanks to Melanie for creating this button. :)

 

DREAM

As soon as I relented, my soul opened up. It was as if a missing part of me had been found. Now, don't get me wrong, we're only a few days into the new year. I haven't worked up to big dreams yet, but I have started with something simple--fantasizing about new bedsheets.

(I can't believe I just admitted that. Yes, I'd gotten to a point where I didn't even dream about having nice new bedsheets! That's just ridiculous!! No wonder I need God to shake me out of my stupor!)

Dreaming is fun. I've always been a dreamer. This year I'm dreaming about things I can easily obtain (like a quick trip to the art museum) and things that I may never get. On New Year's Day I surfed the web for real estate on Lake Michigan. Will I ever own a piece of property on this beautiful coast? Who knows! But it sure made me smile dreaming about it.

If you decide to focus on one word this year, pray for God to lead you to a Bible passage that complements it.

There are many Bible passages with the word "dream" in them, but few use it in the context I'm focusing on. They discuss actual night-time dreams. I skimmed and dismissed them, certain they weren't right, and I switched my search to devotionals.

As soon as I saw the following passage, I knew it was the right one. It doesn't mention dreams, but it encapsulates the meaning of my word.

Ephesians 3:20-21 (NIV Bible):

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

Maybe new bedsheets is a frivolous thing to dream about, but in the end, if we can't dream for simple pleasures, how can we dream that God will use us to build his church? He is our Father. He does not want us to live a life of inner poverty, where we deprive ourselves needlessly. He can do "immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine." Why not ask and imagine for more?

I love surprising my kids with things I know will make them smile. Sometimes the treats are small, like a candy bar, and other times they are big. It gives me pleasure to do this. God is the same way. If I refuse to tell Him what I want, isn't that basically saying "I don't believe you will come through for me"?

Look at the phrase, "according to his power that is at work within us..." His power IS at work within us. How can I be gloomy, knowing God is using His power right now within me? I can't.

My word has already cracked open a light in my life, and the new year has just begun. Have you found a word to focus on in 2013? Are you willing to pray for God to send you a word? If you have, what is your word?

Have a blessed 2013!

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Little Things and Contentment

Yesterday I had one of those rush, rush, rush days. The kind where you try to fit it all in--making a grocery list, buying the groceries, VOTING, finishing laundry, and, oh yeah, there's a ton of apples in the fridge and you should probably do something about them before they spoil.

Well, I did make the grocery list. I bought the groceries. I voted. I finished the laundry. I even peeled 25 apples and made applesauce out of them. When I finally sat down to write, it was 2:30 pm, and I knew I had a lasagna to make and library books to pick up. I didn't think I'd be able to meet my goal, but I fired up my laptop and figured any words were better than none.

I did meet my writing goal. It felt good. But what really brought a warm blanket of contentment over me were all the little things I'd accomplished throughout the day.

Sometimes the small tasks snowball and push a huge pile of anxiety on my chest. No, the world won't stop turning if I have to throw out a few apples, but it will bother me. I hate being wasteful. And, sure, I could leave the laundry for tomorrow, but I don't enjoy putting things off that I can get done now.

My heart is also smiling because I have a refrigerator full of healthy food. I don't have to fold clothes because they're all folded. And I'm that much further on my current work-in-progress.

What a blessing to have the little things. :)

What little things could you do today to bring contentment?

Have a terrific Wednesday!!

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