Haven't I always spouted off about not comparing yourself to other writers? Today, I'm throwing up my hands. Go ahead, compare all you want.
Compare myself to my favorite author? Okay, I'm game.
The facts about my fave author: she researched cancer cures, lived all over the world, and writes the best heroes on the planet.
How do I compare: I don't research cancer cures, haven't been overseas, and struggle to write a decent book.
Hmm..that didn't feel very good. It felt kind of kick-in-the-ribs bad.
I'll try again.
How do I compare: I sympathize with and help people who are going through tough times. I've been blessed to live in many places and have met interesting folks wherever I went. Writing a terrific hero is important to me.
Not bad.
If we're going to compare, we should at least spin ourselves in a positive light. Someone else's success doesn't equal our failure.
How do you compare to your favorite author?
Happy Writing!
Join me next week as I offer encouragement on keeping your confidence high during a conference.
Showing posts with label confidence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confidence. Show all posts
Friday, August 14, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Confidence and Humble-Pie
I don't know about you, but when I started writing, I soared over the atmosphere in happiness. Perfect fit, writing and me. So I wrote my first book, my second, my third, and I submitted them as I finished. It felt good, natural, lovely. And anything that felt so good and natural and lovely meant instant success, right?
Now by success, I'm not talking about huge advances and press releases, I'm talking about getting "the call."
While I wrote those first books, I had no access to any critique group, and I was still a new-ish member of my local RWA. All that earlier confidence slipped a notch or two as I listened to the members share their stories. I dreamed of instant publication, but these were talented people, and most of them had experienced skads of rejection. I thought, why would I be different?
I hadn't been rejected yet, nor had I received contest results or gotten feedback on my books from fellow writers. A nagging voice urged me to have other writers read my work, so I did. Contest results arrived along with the form rejection. And my confidence plummetted. But I learned something very valuable.
Blind confidence is necessary to succeed in this business.
Did I read that wrong? She must have made a typo.
Blind confidence is necessary. If anyone starts out on their writing journey without a massive dose of confidence, they won't be able to handle the upcoming, bone-crushing blows to their ego. Now mind you, there are plenty of talented writers who get published on their first try out. I'd never pretend everyone is doomed to write for years before getting the call. However, the vast majority of us will experience plenty of rejection before we get published, and in order to survive, we need confidence.
But we also need humble-pie. It wouldn't make sense to get feedback from contests, critique partners, and editors, and then toss the advice aside. Sure, we need to evaluate the comments and decide if they're right for us, but to cling to a false confidence will only hold us back.
Photo by timparkinson
We need to be objective about our own work. We need to accurately assess our strengths and our weaknesses, and the best way to do it is to throw off our preconceived notions about our writing and listen carefully to anyone generous enough to point out our problems.
At first, it's not easy. It's hard to read criticism from contest judges. It's painful to read suggestions from critique partners, and it's devastating to get rejections in the mail. But then, we take the advice and apply it to our current or next novel. We study and avoid making the same mistakes. And we repeat the process. Sometimes over and over. And it gets so much easier.
If your path resembles mine, be thankful. We're learning to accept criticism. We're learning to be objective about our work and to take advice. Editors will be giving us plenty of suggestions when we do get the call, and we'll be able to handle it. When our books are published and we open a review, we might have hurt feelings if it's negative, but we'll remind ourselves how far we've come and look ahead to how far we have yet to go.
And we'll smile.
Next week I'll be sharing tips on keeping your confidence high while attending a conference, but this week's posts are general encouragement. Thanks for waiting!
Now by success, I'm not talking about huge advances and press releases, I'm talking about getting "the call."
While I wrote those first books, I had no access to any critique group, and I was still a new-ish member of my local RWA. All that earlier confidence slipped a notch or two as I listened to the members share their stories. I dreamed of instant publication, but these were talented people, and most of them had experienced skads of rejection. I thought, why would I be different?
I hadn't been rejected yet, nor had I received contest results or gotten feedback on my books from fellow writers. A nagging voice urged me to have other writers read my work, so I did. Contest results arrived along with the form rejection. And my confidence plummetted. But I learned something very valuable.
Blind confidence is necessary to succeed in this business.
Did I read that wrong? She must have made a typo.
Blind confidence is necessary. If anyone starts out on their writing journey without a massive dose of confidence, they won't be able to handle the upcoming, bone-crushing blows to their ego. Now mind you, there are plenty of talented writers who get published on their first try out. I'd never pretend everyone is doomed to write for years before getting the call. However, the vast majority of us will experience plenty of rejection before we get published, and in order to survive, we need confidence.
But we also need humble-pie. It wouldn't make sense to get feedback from contests, critique partners, and editors, and then toss the advice aside. Sure, we need to evaluate the comments and decide if they're right for us, but to cling to a false confidence will only hold us back.
Photo by timparkinson
We need to be objective about our own work. We need to accurately assess our strengths and our weaknesses, and the best way to do it is to throw off our preconceived notions about our writing and listen carefully to anyone generous enough to point out our problems.
At first, it's not easy. It's hard to read criticism from contest judges. It's painful to read suggestions from critique partners, and it's devastating to get rejections in the mail. But then, we take the advice and apply it to our current or next novel. We study and avoid making the same mistakes. And we repeat the process. Sometimes over and over. And it gets so much easier.
If your path resembles mine, be thankful. We're learning to accept criticism. We're learning to be objective about our work and to take advice. Editors will be giving us plenty of suggestions when we do get the call, and we'll be able to handle it. When our books are published and we open a review, we might have hurt feelings if it's negative, but we'll remind ourselves how far we've come and look ahead to how far we have yet to go.
And we'll smile.
Next week I'll be sharing tips on keeping your confidence high while attending a conference, but this week's posts are general encouragement. Thanks for waiting!
Monday, May 11, 2009
My Fantasy Life as a Published Author
Sometimes I get so caught up in my day-to-day responsibilities that I forget to stop and remember what I'm working for. Discouragement lurks behind me, waiting for me to have a weak moment. A few days ago, I had a particularly hectic morning. I finally poured myself a cup of hot tea, sat on my favorite chair, and smoothed a cozy throw over my lap.
And I started fantasizing about what life would be like...
I'm sitting at an outdoor table at a cafe in Paris. It's spring, of course, and the journal in front of me lies open with beautiful handwriting scrawled across the top half of the page. I sip coffee as I watch the happy couples walk by. The fresh tree blossoms float around me to the ground; I release a sigh of deep contentment. A sense of delightful anticipation shimmers. I plan my afternoon of window shopping, aimless wandering, and purchasing chocolates before meeting up with my darling husband for a spectacular meal.
My latest book will have just hit bookshelves to glowing reviews. Magazines clamor for interviews. I'm asked to be a keynote speaker at a conference. Life is good.
And the writing? Oh, the writing. Well, naturally, I never doubt my work. The books flow out of me like a waterfall in the rainforest, tumbling with ease and speed. Deadlines? What deadlines? Promotion? Piece of cake.
I scribble a note to self in the journal...
Nice fantasy, huh?
Okay, okay. So what will my future as a published author really look like?
Well, for one thing, my handwriting isn't going to magically become legible, so out that goes. And Paris may be in my future, but I'm restless and I don't know that I'd sit at a cafe for more than forty-five minutes. But a girl's got to have a dream, so dinner in Paris with the love of my life will be a part of my future. (And the chocolates stay, too!)
I'd still love the glowing reviews and to see my latest book on bookshelves, but not every book will get an A+. As long as I've written it to the best of my ability, I'll have to be content with whatever review I get. What about the magazine interviews? Hmm... The local paper might be interested; you never know! And I could be asked to be the keynote speaker at a small conference.
The writing? I don't think it will ever come without deep contemplation and planning, and I wouldn't want it to. I enjoy tripping over plot points, wrapping my brain around conflicts, realizing halfway through a manuscript that the emotion is flat. I don't really enjoy easy; it's the challenge that keeps me glued to the seat.
Oh, and I'm prepared for the cutting reviews by readers on Amazon. I realize an editor won't always approve or purchase the books I write. Deadlines will loom; life will interrupt, and promotion will be an ongoing--and time-consuming--process.
You know what? Reality looks even better than the fantasy! I wouldn't be happy with the fantasy because it doesn't suit me. I know who I am and I don't want to be anyone else.
What about you? What do you fantasize about in regards to becoming published? Are your dreams realistic? Who cares! That's why they're called fantasies!
Join me on Wednesday when I'll share the story of my first rejection.
And...
Get Motivated! It's Monday!
And I started fantasizing about what life would be like...
I'm sitting at an outdoor table at a cafe in Paris. It's spring, of course, and the journal in front of me lies open with beautiful handwriting scrawled across the top half of the page. I sip coffee as I watch the happy couples walk by. The fresh tree blossoms float around me to the ground; I release a sigh of deep contentment. A sense of delightful anticipation shimmers. I plan my afternoon of window shopping, aimless wandering, and purchasing chocolates before meeting up with my darling husband for a spectacular meal.
My latest book will have just hit bookshelves to glowing reviews. Magazines clamor for interviews. I'm asked to be a keynote speaker at a conference. Life is good.
And the writing? Oh, the writing. Well, naturally, I never doubt my work. The books flow out of me like a waterfall in the rainforest, tumbling with ease and speed. Deadlines? What deadlines? Promotion? Piece of cake.
I scribble a note to self in the journal...
Nice fantasy, huh?
Okay, okay. So what will my future as a published author really look like?
Well, for one thing, my handwriting isn't going to magically become legible, so out that goes. And Paris may be in my future, but I'm restless and I don't know that I'd sit at a cafe for more than forty-five minutes. But a girl's got to have a dream, so dinner in Paris with the love of my life will be a part of my future. (And the chocolates stay, too!)
I'd still love the glowing reviews and to see my latest book on bookshelves, but not every book will get an A+. As long as I've written it to the best of my ability, I'll have to be content with whatever review I get. What about the magazine interviews? Hmm... The local paper might be interested; you never know! And I could be asked to be the keynote speaker at a small conference.
The writing? I don't think it will ever come without deep contemplation and planning, and I wouldn't want it to. I enjoy tripping over plot points, wrapping my brain around conflicts, realizing halfway through a manuscript that the emotion is flat. I don't really enjoy easy; it's the challenge that keeps me glued to the seat.
Oh, and I'm prepared for the cutting reviews by readers on Amazon. I realize an editor won't always approve or purchase the books I write. Deadlines will loom; life will interrupt, and promotion will be an ongoing--and time-consuming--process.
You know what? Reality looks even better than the fantasy! I wouldn't be happy with the fantasy because it doesn't suit me. I know who I am and I don't want to be anyone else.
What about you? What do you fantasize about in regards to becoming published? Are your dreams realistic? Who cares! That's why they're called fantasies!
Join me on Wednesday when I'll share the story of my first rejection.
And...
Get Motivated! It's Monday!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Common Fears of Beginning Writers
Maybe Monday isn't the best day to discuss fears, but I'm going to shrug it off and do it anyway. One reality of life is that when people have to deal with a difficult situation, they often feel as if no one on the planet has ever dealt with that situation before. The pain can feel isolating, and the correct course of action seems hazy because, of course, it's the first time EVER in the universe that particular problem has occurred.
Right?
I'm sure your snickering a little. Me too. We can be self-delusional at times, and it can be painful to realize other people have indeed been through what we're going through. You mean I'm not the first person on earth to ruin a friendship, get a divorce, forget a major appointment-- you fill in the blank. When we realize that we have plenty of company in our particular failure, there may be, for a brief moment, a sensation of let-down. After all, it can be a teeny bit romantic being such a spectacular failure--and the first one at that!
Later, though, comes an inevitable feeling of relief. If someone else has been in the same situation and lived to tell about it, well there really is hope. And that feels good!
With that in mind, I'm sharing with you a few common fears of beginning writers. Maybe you've been through these already, or maybe you've been spared these feelings? I know I've felt them at one time or another, and I still wrestle them down on occasion.
Inflated Belief #1: My writing is awesome! So clever, so original--it's going to knock the world's socks off!
Corresponding Fear #1: No one has actually read my work or commented on it. What if it not only doesn't knock the world's socks off, but it becomes a dart board of laughter at some editor's desk?
Hey, some writers do impress editors with their debut (and never-been-seen-by-anyone-other-than-dear-old-Aunt Betty) manuscripts. The majority, however, do not impress on the first go round. Guess what? That's okay. If you're reading this and haven't submitted a manuscript to an editor yet, I'm going to give you a great piece of advice that's been given to many, many writers. Have another writer critique it.
Find someone you trust, who you know will give you an honest, but kind, evaluation, or do the exact opposite and give it to a complete stranger. Whatever works for you. ACFW and RWA both have writing chapters where you can meet other writers or find an online critique group.
Another great option? Enter your manuscript in a few contests that offer feedback. It's not easy hearing our work isn't perfect, but it helps us grow as writers. And, hey, maybe you'll get lucky and it really is the greatest book by a debut author! You'll feel even more confident sending it to an editor.
Feedback will help you find a middle ground in your confidence level. You won't feel like a hopeless shmuck, nor will you have unfounded delusions of grandeur. You'll simply see areas where you can improve, and you'll see areas that you truly excel at. Then you can think how awesome you are--and mean it!
Inflated belief #2: A few people read my book and told me they loved it. It must be good.
Corresponding fear #2: They're just being nice. They hate it and are laughing behind my back at my ridiculous attempts to write a book. Why don't I just join the Witness Relocation Program and disappear?
The flip side of over-confidence in your writing is under-confidence. And yes, the two do appear simultaneously on occasion. Here's the reality of writing. Some people will read your work and they won't like it, but they'll do anything to avoid hurting your feelings. Other people, especially other writers who genuinely want to help you, will give you spot-on feedback. You have to honestly ask yourself which category the reader falls into. If you still lack confidence in your book, get a few more opinions. And always, always, trust your instincts. Don't take advice you don't agree with.
These are just a few of the big fears many writers who are preparing to submit to editors face. My hope is that all writers understand they aren't alone in their fears, their hopes, their confidence or lack of. The more writers I talk to, the more I hear, "been there, done that."
Doesn't that make you feel good?
Join me on Wednesday when we'll look at other fears writers face.
And...
Get Motivated! It's Monday!
Right?
I'm sure your snickering a little. Me too. We can be self-delusional at times, and it can be painful to realize other people have indeed been through what we're going through. You mean I'm not the first person on earth to ruin a friendship, get a divorce, forget a major appointment-- you fill in the blank. When we realize that we have plenty of company in our particular failure, there may be, for a brief moment, a sensation of let-down. After all, it can be a teeny bit romantic being such a spectacular failure--and the first one at that!
Later, though, comes an inevitable feeling of relief. If someone else has been in the same situation and lived to tell about it, well there really is hope. And that feels good!
With that in mind, I'm sharing with you a few common fears of beginning writers. Maybe you've been through these already, or maybe you've been spared these feelings? I know I've felt them at one time or another, and I still wrestle them down on occasion.
Inflated Belief #1: My writing is awesome! So clever, so original--it's going to knock the world's socks off!
Corresponding Fear #1: No one has actually read my work or commented on it. What if it not only doesn't knock the world's socks off, but it becomes a dart board of laughter at some editor's desk?
Hey, some writers do impress editors with their debut (and never-been-seen-by-anyone-other-than-dear-old-Aunt Betty) manuscripts. The majority, however, do not impress on the first go round. Guess what? That's okay. If you're reading this and haven't submitted a manuscript to an editor yet, I'm going to give you a great piece of advice that's been given to many, many writers. Have another writer critique it.
Find someone you trust, who you know will give you an honest, but kind, evaluation, or do the exact opposite and give it to a complete stranger. Whatever works for you. ACFW and RWA both have writing chapters where you can meet other writers or find an online critique group.
Another great option? Enter your manuscript in a few contests that offer feedback. It's not easy hearing our work isn't perfect, but it helps us grow as writers. And, hey, maybe you'll get lucky and it really is the greatest book by a debut author! You'll feel even more confident sending it to an editor.
Feedback will help you find a middle ground in your confidence level. You won't feel like a hopeless shmuck, nor will you have unfounded delusions of grandeur. You'll simply see areas where you can improve, and you'll see areas that you truly excel at. Then you can think how awesome you are--and mean it!
Inflated belief #2: A few people read my book and told me they loved it. It must be good.
Corresponding fear #2: They're just being nice. They hate it and are laughing behind my back at my ridiculous attempts to write a book. Why don't I just join the Witness Relocation Program and disappear?
The flip side of over-confidence in your writing is under-confidence. And yes, the two do appear simultaneously on occasion. Here's the reality of writing. Some people will read your work and they won't like it, but they'll do anything to avoid hurting your feelings. Other people, especially other writers who genuinely want to help you, will give you spot-on feedback. You have to honestly ask yourself which category the reader falls into. If you still lack confidence in your book, get a few more opinions. And always, always, trust your instincts. Don't take advice you don't agree with.
These are just a few of the big fears many writers who are preparing to submit to editors face. My hope is that all writers understand they aren't alone in their fears, their hopes, their confidence or lack of. The more writers I talk to, the more I hear, "been there, done that."
Doesn't that make you feel good?
Join me on Wednesday when we'll look at other fears writers face.
And...
Get Motivated! It's Monday!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)