"Why do you put yourself through it?" My husband glanced at me. We were driving, just the two of us, and discussing life, dreams, and fears. He didn't ask the question in judgment. He was truly curious.
I knew exactly what he meant. Why do I devote so much of my life to a dream that has given very little back to me so far?
My husband knows first-hand how tough the writer's life can be. He has held me when I've sobbed after getting a rejection from the agent I wanted. Sympathized with me after getting my very first rejection on our wedding anniversary. Held my hand through disappointing contest results, tough critiques, and other events that crush the average writer. He knows the writer's life, although he's never been a writer.
Why do I put myself through it?
Easy.
"Because it's the only thing I want to do." I answered.
I know the hard times are necessary for my growth. I know God has used the last few years to keep me humble, to polish my ambition, to hone my drive. I want to be published more than ever. None of the disappointments has stopped me. They've spurred me to study more, to seek advice, to ask questions, to get out of my comfort zone and be aggressive.
Writing is the only thing I want to do.
What are you striving for? Are you blessed with an overwhelming desire in your life?
Don't let anything stop you.
Writing is the only thing I want to do too. It is the only thing that makes me feel like my life on planet earth means something more than the sum of me. And it is the one way I feel like I am truly giving back.
ReplyDeleteI feel exactly the same. I can't imagine NOT writing. The desire to be published is strange. Why do we NEED it so much? Is it approval that we want? I don't know. All I know is that I can't live without it, and I need to give myself a REASON to keep going. :o)
ReplyDeleteWriting is not something I've always wanted to do, but now that I'm writing, I can't imagine not writing. I've tried to walk away, actually, but I simply couldn't. Something always made me come back.
ReplyDeletePraying that you WILL succeed!!! :O)
ReplyDeleteWow, yes! I get you on this. Shared with you how vacationing w/ my in-laws I got stares like I was a singing monkey when I briefly mentioned some of my writing dreams/goals/publications. And I won't even mention the reaction I got when I said the words online friends. :D
ReplyDeleteI'm going to keep on keepin' on. It's what I do. I'm a lover and a fighter.
~ Wendy
I don't believe hard times are necessary for my growth. Hard times is just "life." Everyone has their fair/unfair share. I get patience and wisdom and serenity through prayer. I can't force my destiny here on earth, and while I would like to believe it's me being a published writer, I have to be open that I might have another purpose.
ReplyDeleteYup, keep on doing and enjoy the ride.
ReplyDeleteOooh, good post! Yep, I'd say writing is my desire. Sounds like you have a wonderful husband. :-)
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine a life without writing. If I'm away from it even for a few days, I definitely feel its absence. It's always there, if not by actual writing, then by reading, or observing, or contemplating ...
ReplyDeleteI agree. Even when I'm not physically putting down words, I'm thinking about it and working on it in my mind.
ReplyDelete*hugs* This is exactly why--because I can't not. I'd like to be able to set this dream aside some days, but I've never been able to. :o)
ReplyDeleteOooh, that picture is so vivid. It makes me want to take a drive and do some dreaming of my own.
ReplyDeleteWriting is what I want to do. It's been that way for so long, sometimes I forget what it's like to not have a primary goal that drives me.
Jill:
ReplyDeleteI understand your response to your husband. I feel God has given me a gift-that of writing. I know it is my place to make use of it and reflect Him to those who read my stories.
Well said, Jill. You know, when I started, I told myself 'It'll probably take me 5 years to get a novel published'...well, year five came and went..then years 6, 7 and 8. In the end, it will be 9 years for me.
ReplyDeleteas hard as the journey has been, I am SO GLAD I didn't give up when year 5 came and I wasn't where I had hoped to be. We need to be willing to hang in there "until"...whenever that until is.
Writing and music. Practicing 4 hours a day is hard. I can keep it up, but after I'm through I'm exhausted. Not to mention lessons - it's like getting a really tough crit on that piece of writing. But I do it because I love it.
ReplyDeleteHi Jill -
ReplyDeleteYour husband sounds like a great guy. :)
I'm seeking publication because that is how God is leading me at this point in my life. I've always written, but much of it involved letters, poetry, Bible Studies, etc. As long as I'm doing His will, that's all that matters.
Blessings,
Susan :)
What a blessing to have such wonderful support!
ReplyDeleteI keep going forward because this is what I am called to do. This is what I find great joy in doing:)
Blessings,
Karen
Your comments touched me. It's wonderful to read your passion and understanding. And for those of you who mentioned it--yes, my husband is a great guy.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for stopping by!
Sigh. Jill, my hubby asks me the same thing if I convey my stressed-out writing frazzles with too much intensity.
ReplyDeleteHave started taking such angst to the Lord.
GREAT post!
Patti
Yes. Writing.
ReplyDeleteJust like most people have answered.
However, coupled with the desire to get and keep my house clean (flylady.net), get out of debt (dave ramsey) and save money, life seems to not offer enough time for each of them, so writing has a little uncomfortable hour at the begining of the day...too early to be happy, lol
And I'm contemplating a schedule that would help me really move forward in my writing.
Lord willing.
Thanks for the post, honey.
I really enjoyed reading other's feelings that mirror my own.
I hear you! It's a crazy life, but so worth it:)
ReplyDeleteKeep on writing Jill. It's beautiful that you hear God's whispers in your heart-to keep on learning, and making your writing dreams come true.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for such encouraging words.
ReplyDeleteChiming in late, but I just wanted to say (in my perpetually cliched way) you took the words right out of my mouth. Writing is the only thing I want to do. As long as it's what God keeps holding on my heart!
ReplyDelete