Friday, October 16, 2009

The Human Value of Social Networks

Do you ever feel guilty about the time you spend reading blogs, checking your own blog, logging into Facebook, or tweeting a post on Twitter? Do you think, I shouldn't be spending so much time online--I should be writing, cooking, playing with my kids, reading a book, and so on?



I'm not going to discuss why social networks are good for your writing career (although I believe they are), but I do want to bring up an often overlooked aspect of social networks.

Online social networks fulfill a basic need.

Basic need? Yes. Humans have always had social networks in one way or another. The venue changes as time progresses. And we've been extremely creative in how we fit our craving for human contact into our busy lives.

Think about the following--yesteryear's tradition of afternoon tea in England, the American housewives' coffee cliques in the fifties and sixties, or even the watercooler in our current workplaces. We need to discuss the minutiae of our lives.

We need small talk on a daily basis.
I think that's the main reason Facebook and Twitter are currently so popular among adults and teenagers. Standing around gabbing is frowned upon in many businesses to make way for productivity. Stay at home mothers can no longer justify daily coffee gabfests, so we've renamed them playdates. Our kids need to socialize, right? (Yes! And we grown-ups do too.)

American society tends to disdain leisure. This attitude has seeped into our social lives. The only way we can rationalize taking a much-needed daily break is to check our online social networks at short intervals.

Facebook and Twitter have millions of users. They're obviously filling a need, and they're doing it well. I love that I'm finally keeping in touch with my college roommate and my cousins who live far away. Sure, it's only a few words here or there, but those words keep me connected.

What does this have to do with balance?

The more involved I've become with various social networks, the more time it takes to keep up with them. Facebook and Twitter do not take up much of my time but following blogs does. I know many of you struggle with this issue too.

How can we maintain our social networks without sacrificing a good portion of our day?

When one aspect of life begins edging out others, I often feel twinges of guilt. When that happens, I stop and listen. It's the same as when I've been eating too many brownies and not enough apples. My conscience is doing its job--protecting me.

For me, it boils down to one thing. Priorities.

My number one priority for my writing career is to finish books.

Since it only takes me twenty minutes to check e-mails, read my blog's comments, update my Facebook status, and post on Twitter, I start my day off with those. But I lose track of time when I'm reading blogs, so I don't allow myself to read any until I've met my daily word count or revision goal. I have to get my writing done during the day, so it's important for me to use the time wisely. However, we're all different, with different schedules and different tastes, so don't take this as advice. Your approach will depend on your life.

I've gone loosey-goosey in the past and read blogs first. Guess what? I lost so much time, I could barely make half of my word count. I recognize that my personality gets caught up in blogs. It's hard for me to set limits. That's why I write first.

Also, when you follow many, many blogs, it's difficult to keep track of them all. Google Reader helps, but I've taken steps to manage my blog reading in a different way. My goal is to hit each of my faves at least once a week. Since I consistently follow over fifty blogs, I've bookmarked the sites and divided them up into days. I have a Monday folder, Tuesday folder, and so on. Sometimes I have more time and can read them more than once a week, but if not, at least the blog's author knows I still care. (And for the record, I usually skip book reviews. My to-be-read pile is a nightmare as it is!)

What are your strategies for managing the blogs you follow? Or do you have Facebook or Twitter addiction you've taken steps to manage? I'd love to hear your tips! Even with my current system, I struggle sometimes.

Have a fantastic weekend!

40 comments:

  1. I like this post, Jill. I tend to read blogs, like now, while I'm watching cartoons with my kids. I can do both at once, or when I'm otherwise multi-tasking. I can't write when I'm multi-tasking anyway.

    I priortize in Google Reader, but I need to further priortize, so thanks for the suggestions. I've definitely been spending more time than I should blogging lately. I need to get to those edits that I've been ignoring.

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  2. I definitely use Blogger's Scheduler for setting up several of my posts ahead of time, which shaves time off of doing that daily. The rest, following the updates, becomes a part of my morning routine, a visit here and there before I get into the thick of the day's projects.

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  3. Good morning!

    Heather: Perfect time, when the kids are watching cartoons. Late afternoon is my best time because the kids are chilling after school and I need a pick me up!

    Joanne: Me too. Isn't it great to be able to schedule blogs?? It saves me tons of time! I like that blogs are your morning routine. Mine are usually in the afternoon.

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  4. Super post. I think social networking is a boon to moms who are the main at-home care giver. Back in the day when my three kids were young, some weeks the only socializing I got was via the Internet.

    As for balancing, it does take work. Your caveat to write first is an excellent one. Without priorities (including written daily/weekly goals for me), I'd be drowning.

    I read straight off my Rockin' Blog List in the sidebar, so that's handy. Like you, lately I've only been able to read all my favs once or twice a week. And that's usually when I'm "on shift" as caregiver to my mom on Thurs-Saturday or Sunday. I'm really thankful for wifi!

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  5. Used to be a facebook addict, now I'm a facebook lackey. Think I've avoided Twitter b/c I've never been one for small talk. I'm still all over the blogs b/c they teach me, I connect and I can write more. What more could I ask for? :D
    ~ Wendy

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  6. What great effort you put into this post!

    My husband doesn't get the social aspect these networking sources give me. He's out in the world everyday, and has not trouble or reservation really chatting with people. I'm tongue-tied in person, and this kind of socialization sits well with me. I'd be lost without it!

    I like your assessment of priorities. And I'm just like you - can get caught up in blog reading and lose time before I've known it. I need to look closely at what I'm doing and how I can tweak it. Thanks for getting me to think.

    Have a great weekend, Jill!

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  7. As always, I love what you have to say, and you're so right!

    I've been lurking on Google Readers for the past few weeks, but wanted to take the time to stop by and say hi again! I love the ease of Google Reader, but hate the fact I can't commment from it.

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  8. Angie: I'm so thankful for the Internet. We've moved a lot in the past and sometimes I feel that as soon as I make a friend, I have to leave them. I never have to leave my bloggy friends! And how wonderful of you (and for you) to help your mother.

    Wendy: I love blogs too! They're more satisfying to me than FB or Twitter. More personality!

    Janna: I know! Mine is with people all day and would like to just be quiet after hours. I am alone all day and need an outlet! Thanks for the kind words, too.

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  9. MeganRebekah: Thanks for taking the time out! I wish there was a way we could leave comments from Google Reader too. I know I can bring the blog up if I click on the arrow all the way to the right, but it's not as fast as whizzing through Reader!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  10. I absolutely agree that this is my small talk, my basic need to socialize. I really don't get out much since my kids are young and I never got into the playdate thing, so I love reading blogs. I lose time to them too and need to do what you do.
    I didn't know we could make folders!!! Too cool. I might have to explore that. In the meantime, when I'm super busy I just tend to comment on whoever has commented on mine, to be fair. Then if I have extra time I'll read the blogs I've missed.

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  11. Hey, Jill!

    I definitely need to check out googlereader now. Sounds like it's really helpful!

    That's a great idea to write first and blog second! I'm going to put that in my list of suggestions.

    The biggest thing I do is write all of my blogs ahead of time, usually at the same time. Right now I spend about an hour in the mornings and then random chunks throughout the day. That's all I have right now, so I'm curious to see what others say!

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  12. I do enjoy my afternoon tea with my blogger friends. Thanks for the good thoughts and perspective! :O)

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  13. Blogging = metal health. It's friendship and workshops all in one!

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  14. Jessica: I have folders in my "Favorites" sidebar. I make folders for blogs, research, agents, you name it! I love it! I don't know if you can create folders in Google Reader, but that would help me tremendously. I haven't figured it out yet!

    Kristen T: Writing up all the week's blogs at once takes the pressure off. It's my strategy too!

    Diane: Afternoon tea and blogs? Heaven!

    T.Anne: Yes! Connections, workshops, and even a touch of therapy--blogs are good for the soul!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  15. I need to be better about waiting to read blogs until after I've written for the day! I just haven't been motivated to write lately (and that has got to end). I've really enjoyed meeting people through blogs during this last month. I can see how these relationships could become very important to me. I don't get a lot of face-to-face adult interaction everyday because I am at home with my kids, so blogs provide an avenue for adult interaction.

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  16. It still amazes me how organized you are. I am trying to manage all the blogs I follow by telling myself that it's okay if I didn't write a post for today (which sadly I didn't). I want to be consistent but more, I want to make writing my priority, as well as family. I also try to limit my time looking through blogs. And know that Monday is always the hardest, so I plan accordingly. I try to check some in the morning and then make sure I get writing and household stuff done before I check the rest. Have a great weekend!

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  17. Jill you are so wonderful at compiling information that every writer needs direction in. I was not aware of Google Reader, I made a note to self and I will be looking into that this weekend, especially the folders.

    Thanks so much for all of your insight!

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  18. I am strict with the time allow myself to blog. I spend an hour in the morning and then a half hour in the afternoon and again at night. It works for me, and I usually can hit most of the blogs I read.

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  19. Natalie: I get unmotivated very quickly. It always (and I mean always) happens after I've been away from my manuscript for longer than three days. That's why it's vital for me to write every weekday. Hang in there!

    Cindy: The blogs I follow enhance my life. They do. I don't want to push them from my life! And I won't. It's just hard to fit everything in! Aaahh!

    Tamika: I haven't figured out how to create online folders in Google Reader, but if you do, come back and tell me! I currently just use my "favorites" toolbar.

    Susan: Great system. And I like the idea of having a time limit. Hmm...

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  20. Great post, Jill. :) I agree about the need for social chit chat. That's one of the things I love best about blogging--getting to hang out with my friends.

    I've had to realign my priorities in the last little while. This means I post and comment less. I read most of the posts, but don't always have time (or brain power) to comment. I still feel guilty over this, but I do try to hit everyone at least once a week the way you do. :D

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  21. I need to do what you're doing. Write first, then blog. You're right, once you get into reading all the great blogs, it's hard to reset yourself to write. I've found that I have to do what you're doing, visit once a week for most blogs, but there are some that I just have to visit at each post.

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  22. Excellent post, Jill. It's nice to hear from the "other" side, since there seems to be a backlash against social networking. Our community is rural, and we live out of town, so my FB time tends to BE my social life during the week.
    I have had to readjust though, as others have said, and write first, then check e-mail and FB and blogs. Otherwise it's just too easy to get sucked in!
    Niki

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  23. I'm trying to work in an extra day or two for reading and commenting on blogs. That may help, to do a few with my new blog and others on an inbetween day. We'll see.

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  24. Great post Jill! I didn't know there is a blogger organizer! Where is that? I do what I can but writing comes first--not everyday but in large chunks. I don't work out side the home YET either so I need this small talk!

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  25. Danyelle: Absolutely! I feel so blessed to be able to chat with fellow writers every single day. It's pretty amazing when I think about it. :)

    Eileen: I only made that my rule because my lack of discipline was driving me crazy. I'm a happy lady now. No more guilt!

    Niki: Welcome! I hear you on it being the only social life we have sometimes. I can't tell you how many times I've had to move and start over. The Internet keeps me connected. And it's so nice to know that no matter where I move, I don't have to start over with my blog friends.

    Nancy: Try different approaches until you find the best method for you. That's what I did!

    Terri: The Blogger organizer is me, unfortunately! Do you have a "favorites" toolbar in your Internet Explorer? I created folders in mine. I have a main folder "Fave Blogs" then there are sub-folders such as "Monday," "Tuesday," and "NewBlogs" that I've recently found and want to keep trying. Now, it does take a bit of work, because when I find a site, I have to "add it to my favorites." But it's old-hat to me now.

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  26. Jill, this is an EXCELLENT post! I often read blogs throughout the day because I'm back forth between the computer and my daughter and I couldn't write anyway. That's how I read so many blogs... so my secret? Have a kid and be a stay at home mom. I only have one child, though, so I've got more time than others, I think.

    You have some great thoughts here. Thank you!

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  27. This is so hard for me to manage. I'm trying to streamline my morning routine of blog reading. I've made so many blogging friends, I try to visit their blogs as often as I can. But I need to make sure I have time to do my work too. Sigh. How to make it all work.

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  28. I post last thing every night which ends up being early on your next morning because of the time difference. It's kinda nice with the time difference because anyone who posts early I get the their blogs first and pick the rest up the next day. I am a very fast reader and so usually get around to all 100 plus blogs that I follow. REading inspires my writing so I enjoy it.

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  29. I love google reader, but hate that I can't comment while I'm reading. That drives me nuts. I like to leave comments. So usually I use the blog roll on our blog to keep up with everyone. It takes me about an hour every day and I usually like to do it while watching trashy television. Multitasking!

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  30. Hi Jill -

    Great suggestions!

    I allow myself a half hour in the morning to read email and moderate comments. If an email requires an answer, I put it aside until later in the day.

    The sooner I get my word count done, the happier and more relaxed I am. I've been reserving blogging for the evening hours when my creativity has gone to sleep.

    Blessings,
    Susan :)

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  31. Oh I wish I had a system. I guess mine is like Jessica's. Lately I can only visit the people who visit mine. It's too hard to keep up with everyone. As much as I wish I could, I have to limit the amount of blog hopping I do!

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  32. I just prayed about this very issue. STarting Monday, I'm getting back into a routine. Mornings are devoted to God and writing (actual writing). I won't check blogs until after my son goes to sleep (7:30) and I'll get through whatever I get through. We'll see how it goes.

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  33. Lady GLamis: Anyone with small children knows there aren't big chunks of time for anything! My whole life was about fitting things into 10-15 minute slots! (And one child sometimes takes more energy ;)

    Erica: I know! I LOVE all the blogs I follow and want to read them every day. Unfortunately, at this time in my life, I don't have that luxury. Another area to compromise...

    Tabitha: Great system! I can feel your enthusiasm for it!

    Lisa and Laura: Yeah, I wish you could comments right on GR too. I have learned to click on the far right arrow of the blog list in GR, and it will bring up the actual blog. I can leave a comment, exit, and be right back in Google Reader. Not perfect, but still!

    Susan: Nice! It sounds like you've found a way to fit blogging in perfectly. I feel better the sooner I've gotten my word count in too!

    Jody: We can only do so much. And you've been extremely generous to all of your bloggy friends. Try not to feel guilty!

    Katie: Routines help me. I easily get caught up in things, so time limits and setting aside certain times to do things makes a huge impact on my life. Good luck!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  34. Oh, I like your system of dividing them up by the days! That is a great idea. I've been very sporadic at getting to blogs and I need to do better. Time management! Wish it were easier! :)

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  35. Lynette: Welcome! I'm relaxed about it. I have days where I'm only home an hour, so I don't worry about checking blogs when that happens. And I wish time management could be simple too!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  36. Dear Jill: Thank you for this; I feel less guilty about my blog habit than I did five minutes ago!

    Because I need to be careful I don't go overboard on things I enjoy, I try to limit myself to an hour a day on blogs. It's very hard to manage, since I follow so many, and don't want those who are faithful to mine to feel neglected. I love your idea of the list for each day! I am going to try that.

    Recently when I whined to my husband that blogging was eating up too much of my writing time he said, "But you've made friends there, Jeanette." This wisdom from the man I neglect in order to blog! He is right; I've grown as a writer and a Christian and a person from you and others I've connected with blogging. Thank you for contributing to my life and walk with the Lord.

    Jen
    Audience of ONE

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  37. I find that I "catch up" on reading blogs twice a week. I check facebook off & on during the day and use it to keep up with family from out of state & friends who live far away. I haven't taken on Twitter because I'm not getting everything on my to do list crossed off. I really enjoy how the social networking systems have given me a chance to keep in touch with people so much easier these days. :)

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  38. I find that I "catch up" on reading blogs twice a week. I check facebook off & on during the day and use it to keep up with family from out of state & friends who live far away. I haven't taken on Twitter because I'm not getting everything on my to do list crossed off. I really enjoy how the social networking systems have given me a chance to keep in touch with people so much easier these days. :)

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  39. Jen: Your husband is a genius. You can tell him I said so! I feel the same way. Reading blogs is a way of keeping up with my friends. What's not to love?

    CMOM: Good strategy. I like the idea of catching up a few times a week, because that's what I've been adjusting to over the past month.

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  40. I don't have a strategy for following blogs and I am constantly feeling overwhelmed about how to manage that time better. I love your idea of dividing them by days of the week. I am going to go do that right now!

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