Patterns

I've always enjoyed patterns. I think it's fun to decipher a code or secret message. Even tangled necklaces are challenges I welcome. Most tangles take time and a degree of patience to unravel. Codes and secret messages rank higher on the excitement list. Patterns, though, are tricky. Why? I can't always see the pattern.



Take my schedule, for example. Life zooms along fine, and I feel confident and in charge. I can handle another commitment, so I add it. Then someone asks for something else, so I justify adding that too. And life continues until one day--wham! It all falls apart.

My confidence disappears. I realize my schedule no longer works. I'm rushed, tired, ornery, and no fun to be around. The meltdown could have been avoided, of course.

If I only would have noticed the pattern.

The pattern? Yes. You see, I add things--worthwhile things--to my schedule, but something has to drop off to accommodate them. What's the first thing to go? Any activity that makes me, and only me, happy.

Frivolous pursuits, time wasters, happy minutes puttering. They get dropped out of my life one by one until the joy is sucked out of each day and I snap.

It truly is a pattern.

Smooth sailing = schedule works and I make time for myself.
Gentle waves = schedule is adjusted to fit another need in, maybe a volunteer opportunity or another writing commitment.
Rough waters = schedule is crowded with things I've said "yes" to and there's no room left for mindless fun.
Shipwreck = schedule is so jam-packed, I no longer exercise, read, or do anything nice for myself.

I will probably always battle keeping the right ratio of should-do's with want-to-do's, but here is something I try to keep in mind.

I need cushions in my life. When I take fifteen minutes to leaf through a cookbook, spend a few hours at a museum, or waste six minutes reacquainting myself with the treasures in my top desk drawer, I'm telling myself that my needs are just as important as everyone else's. And that motivates me to do other things important to me, like write an extra page in my novel or walk twenty minutes on the treadmill.

If you don't treat your needs (no matter how silly they appear to others) as important, no one else will either.

What are your cushions? The little things you do that seem piddly and unnecessary but that actually support you?

If you don't have any cushions, do you resent it? Is there a way you could find ten minutes today to do something for yourself? I'm talking about something as small as doodling or listening to a favorite song.

Find ten minutes. Do something just for you!

Join me on Wednesday. I'm taking a poll and can't wait to read your answers!

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