Friday, October 23, 2009

How to Unbalance Your Life

I've yammered on and on about balance. Here are my top tips to unbalance your life.

Accident is going to happen
Photo by gravestone

1. Say yes to everything!
Sew three costumes by this weekend? Sure!
You need eighty-five and a half cupcakes tomorrow? No problem!
Pick up Aunt Bertha from Tennessee even though I'm nine hours away? Will do!

2. Justify an Internet, videogame, Lifetime Television addiction as necessary
"Mom? We haven't eaten all week, we're hungry!"
"Hang on, I need to catch the end of "Mother, Run Away from Danger in the form of Tori Spelling."
"Honey? I haven't seen you in seven days. You alright?"
"Bowser isn't going to win Mario Kart himself--give me a minute!"
"Missy, it's Christmas morning. Aren't you gonna open presents?"
"Let me check Facebook one more time!"

3. Under no circumstances do anything nice for yourself
I could read one chapter... How dare you! When there's a pile of dishes in the sink.
I could go shopping with Jennie for an hour... Blast it woman! You don't deserve it.
I could listen to music and eat a scone... Or you could get your buns downstairs and pay bills.

4. Do everything for your family, even if they're capable and have time to do it themselves
Oh that Johnny. Tsk, tsk. Fourteen is too young to put clothes in the hamper...
Candy wrappers? On every step? Hmm... Must have been a candy bandit. I'll pick them up.
Gotta run! Drats. Garbage night. "Kids, don't get up from the couch--I'll take the trash out."

5. Procrastinate!

I really should write a few pages tonight. Right after I watch this rerun of Alf.
I could do a few sit-ups. But I ate three hours ago and it might upset my stomach.
The planets aligned and I have six hours to write! Or nap, or pick lint off my sweater, or...

Have a terrific weekend!


  1. Have you been up in my head? :roll: Great post!

    But darnit all, you've reminded me I have to pay bills today. *sigh*

  2. Guilty as charged. The good news? After you get breathing space again as the kids get older, you're ready and able to get a lot done simultaneously and in just a little bit of time. :)

  3. This is a great list! Halariously true...or sadly true, depending on how you look at it. I am guilty of wasting approximately one month of my life addicted to Sims 2. Seriously, it was so ridiculous. I could have written three books when I think of all the time I spent obsessing over that game.

  4. Very funny post that rings just true enough to make me uncomfortable! ;-)

    Have a great weekend!

  5. Jill,
    This is delightful and funny! Good humour always has a thread of truth in it, doesn't it? Good work!You have captured a kind of day that we have all had.

  6. Oy, haven't we all been there? I think we can all see ourselves somewhere in this delightful post!

  7. I'm big time guilty of #4. I need to start realizing that my kids can do more than I think.
    Thanks for the laugh.
    ~ Wendy

  8. Haahaa! The line about Johnny and the hamper cracked me up! I'm not too guilty of this stuff. I'm a little on the selfish side, but I try hard not to be. But when it comes to housework, my hubby doesn't do anything but I'm determined to teach my kids to pull their weight. Thus my five year old and three year old put away their own clothes. *wink* But that's it so far.
    Great post!!!

  9. *Hanging my head in shame*

    Jill, you have found me out! This is hilarious, and true. At least I can take comfort that others are doing it too.

    Back to work for me. Happy Friday!

  10. Haha! I'll make sure NOT to follow this list! :0) Have a great weekend, Jill!

  11. hahaha- love this. Perfect way to start the weekend..make me laugh for sure. Have a great weekend yourself!

  12. Alf reruns--how could you resist?

    I am guilty of saying yes too much. Sometimes I feel like I am stretched nearly to breaking. Saying no is hard for me, but I'm getting better at it.

  13. Way funny, thank you. I needed to smile this morning.

  14. Hahaha! Yep, learn what NOT to do to illustrate what we should do.

    There's an award for you on my blog today:

  15. These were great, and WHOA on that picture.

  16. Oh man, that picture is soooo scary! But it's such a good visual for what an unbalanced life really is! Sometimes is hard to see the potential damange of not staying balanced, but your picture and your post really bring it into focus!

    And now, speaking of business, I'm off to go edit a manuscript, then on to NJ RWA's PAN retreat this afternoon. That's the one good thing about loving what you do. The work/passion/joy thing lines itself up!

  17. Ha ha! So true, Jill. Thanks for the reminder.

  18. Good afternoon!!

    First of all, I've been guilty of every single one of these this week! Terrible. I'm hanging my head in shame... :)

    Janna: Bills, yuck. I might try #5 and do them tomorrow. :)

    Angie: Breathing space? You give me hope!

    Katie: I know! When we first got Mario Kart, I played it non-stop!

    Tamara: Oh, I'm squirming too!

    Wendy: A thread or an entire net? ;)

    Joanne: I'm in every one of these, sadly enough.

    Wendy: Me too! Sometimes it's just easier to do it myself.

    Jessica: Thanks! And hey, your kids are learning valuable life lessons. Good job!

    Tamika: I'm hanging my head too. Happy Friday!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

  19. Kristen T: Avoid this list!

    Amber J: Thanks!

    Natalie: I don't know about you, but just when I've said no to one thing, another pops up I say yes to. Uggh!

    Regina: Thanks!

    Steph: An award?? Yippee! I'll come by later--thanks!

    Erica: The picture is frightening, isn't it. {Shivers}

    Lisa Dale: Welcome! Congrats again on your new release--have fun at the NJ meeting!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

  20. I seem to be a lint picker. Thanks for the good reminders! :O)

  21. That truck does not look healthy.

    Guess that's the point of the whole post, though. I'm bad for falling into each of those from time to time. Especially not enlisting the family to do what is rightfully their responsibility. Must learn to deligate and stick with it!!!

  22. LOL! And what a scary picture. I have never had the disorder of saying yes to everything. And you know what? I've offended people with my very polite no. Just goes to show you, you really can't win. I have kept my sanity and my hair though. (Always good things ;)

  23. Niki: You're welcome!

    Diane: I have an unhealthy lint obsession myself...

    Eileen: When you find the secret to "sticking with it" on the delegating, pass it on to me!

    T.Anne: You're my hero :)!!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

  24. Ha! I love it. You have a great weekend too.

  25. Very funny blog and I'm afraid I'm guilty of a few of the jokes, especially procrastination. There's so much to see and do -oh well.

  26. Too funny. And yes, I'll admit to being guilty of a few of these...

  27. Love the pic!

    Oh dear, feeling guilty over doing something special for myself hits home. I have a difficult time relaxing if there's unfinished work.

    Susan :)

  28. Exactly! It's so, "No, really-- you all get into the lifeboat-- I'm going to stay here and tidy up a bit. I'll catch up to you later!"

    We gotta quit doing that!

  29. Oh Jill, I'm sure I'm guilty of all of these at one point or another! Have a great weekend!

  30. Have an awesome weekend!! I loved that picture--how did they get it! ANd I am procrastinating right now--wanted to write and here I sit.

  31. Love this. SO FUNNY! Hope you enjoy your weekend, Jill!

  32. Great post! I must admit, I've been guilty of the "let me check my email one more time" thing ...

  33. Great post, Jill. I believe you've hit all the nails on their heads! Have a great weekend!

  34. Loved the post! I am using the sit-ups excuse.

  35. Thanks you guys! I know I'm not alone on these then--right? :))

    (Leah and Belle--welcome!)

    Thanks for stopping by!


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