Monday, October 26, 2009

Finding Balance When Life's Upside Down

Although this month has been all about balance, I've purposely tip-toed around the Sasquatch in the room. I'm referring to the upside down economy. I've relied on the stability of the American economy almost my entire life, and the last few years have shaken one of my core feelings of safety.

I realize the economy is only one of the safety nets we rely on without thought, but it's a big one.



This economy has affected almost everyone I know. Since I've recently read another blog describing how a spouse has lost a job, I feel compelled to address this topic.

How can we keep living our lives when one of our basic securities has been upset?

It's hard to meet basic needs when worried about money. Sleep becomes disrupted and elusive. You become tense and difficult to be around. No matter how many times you tell yourself it will all be fine and God will see you through, you can't help but wish times were better. That you didn't have to worry about things you may have never worried about before--like paying your mortgage, purchasing clothes for your kids, or having health insurance.

The hard part for many people is that there's no end in sight. Many have been dealing with reduced pay, reduced benefits, or worse, unemployment, for years now. And the old wisdom, move away to find a different job, doesn't work for people who live in a devastated local economy because they have no chance of selling their home even if they want to.

Look at this statistic: Of 913 home sales in Detroit in July, 2009, 802 of those were
foreclosures. That means only 12% of the homes sold were NOT foreclosures. I will not give the median price of these homes because it is too depressing. (Statistics from Money Magazine, November 2009.)

Here in Michigan, unemployment is at 15.3%--the worst in the country. (For a great article on the current unemployment situation, check out
Money.CNN.com: State Jobless Picture Brighten's a Little. ) Obviously, Michigan is affected by the big three automakers, but its housing, construction, and financial markets have been devastated also. And Michigan is by no means alone in this. Look at housing starts in Florida, Las Vegas, and Northern Virginia--we are talking about a collapse of an industry. And when one industry collapses, others are affected. Sorry for the analytical detour. Let's get back...

Life is easier to take when we know something is temporary. Skip restaurant meals for three months to pay down a credit card? No problem. Skimp on groceries for two months to buy Christmas presents? Piece of cake. But for those of you who have cut back on every area, still don't have enough money, and have no idea when you will--that's when life gets hard.

If you're in this boat, I want to reassure you that you are not alone. I'm very sorry you're having to deal with this right now. My heart goes out to anyone struggling to find a job, sell a house, or make ends meet. Do not feel for one minute that you are cosmically being singled out. All you have to do is talk to five random people on the street to realize the majority of people are struggling with the same issues you are.

If you or your spouse recently lost your job, or maybe your house went into foreclosure, please take a few minutes each day to support each other. You may feel as if you have nothing to give, but simple gestures add up to big results. A hug, a few minutes listening, or even a cup of coffee together can make the difference between feeling positive or feeling like the world is coming to an end.

Maybe this isn't the time to find balance. Maybe this is the time to do what you can to get through it. Be kind to yourself and your loved ones. Nothing lasts forever, including the hard times.

Join me on Wednesday for the results of last week's poll.

27 comments:

  1. I love your parting comment about nothing lasting forever. I always cling to the idiom, this too shall pass. =)

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  2. Hi Jill,
    I understand the tense economic times, even though I feel a bit more isolated up here in the boonies of Michigan. My brother moved out of Detroit almost two years ago, and STILL hasn't sold his house there. He took another job in Illinois and is having to make two payments on his old house and the one he's living in now. I can't imagine that he'll ever sell it. It does seem pretty hopeless!

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  3. Sometimes finding balance isn't possible, just like you said. Sometimes you just need to get through. I know the economy is suffering right now and people are struggling, but something my pastor says keeps running through my mind: God always takes care of his people. Always. He has to--He said it in His Word. To violate that would directly contradict the Bible, which is impossible.

    That being said, sometimes I don't know how to view true poverty in light of that statement. I know there are some beautiful saints who love the Lord and whose families need more food to eat. But I know the Lord is looking out for them too. Often I don't see the many different ways God provides for me--I just see the result. I think the same is true for all of us.

    Cutting back seems very un-American. Our society is all about consumerism and excess, making enough money to afford the American dream. But it's when all the extras are removed that we see what we really need. It's when we can disrobe all those extra layers and see God as who He really is. It's when faith grows.

    He will take care of his people. That's a promise we can depend on. Hopefully that's a comfort to all of us struggling out there--it definitely is one to me.

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  4. Jill, thank you for taking the time to encourage the people that are struggling to keep their head above water. The reality of these kinds of losses can be feating if not viewed from the proper perspective.

    This too shall pass, says it all.

    We must never stop praying, God promises that He will cause all things to work together for our good for all those that love Him and are called according to His purpose.

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  5. That little voice in your ear that says you are the only one is a flat out lie. Coming together even in this blooger community breaks the hold of that lie and gives folks hope! :O)

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  6. Great post. It is a tough time right now for many. I agree with you; maybe now is not the time for balance.

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  7. Good morning!

    T.Anne: I love that saying too. It's so hopeful.

    Jody: My heart goes out to your brother. Talk about stressful. Ouch! Thanks for sharing.

    Kristen T: Beautiful summary of God's mercy. He does take care of us. Nicely put.

    Tamika: I've read too many newspaper snippets of men losing their jobs and then killing their families and themselves. I wish they could see they weren't alone. Maybe if they had some moral support, things would have turned out differently? Thanks for the uplifting message.

    Diane: I agree--and it's so easy to hear that lie about any number of things, including illness or even car problems!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  8. Susan: Balance should be on the back burner for anyone in survival mode. I feel bad talking about balance all month when so many people can't even find a job.

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  9. I think these times call for more faith, more creativity, more sacrifice...

    the silver lining is the fact that all of these things make us better and stronger people. Who doesn't want more faith? creativity? sac...well, you get the point.

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  10. I am amazed by stories of people who lost everything and still persevere. Bless all those who are struggling now! May we learn from these trials and emerge a stronger, smarter people.

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  11. Every Thursday when I meet with my Bible study group we end up praying for so many who've lost jobs or are looking for work. Timely post.
    ~ Wendy

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  12. I agree, maybe this isn't the time for balance. There's always time for appreciating what we have and sharing kindness with those who are struggling. And there's always time for prayer. Thanks for this post, Jill.

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  13. I'm so glad we downsized when we did a few years ago. I know two of my friends who are concerned about their homes. It is tough in Michigan. You are very sweet to remember those in need with a kind word.

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  14. I really enjoyed reading your post today Jill. I know that the few things that I'm struggling with right now will not last forever. It helps to hear it sometimes though. Your post was encouraging and I think it is important to encourage those around you (like you said). Thank you.

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  15. You're so right. Sometimes there are life things that pull us so strongly, that if we focused too much on our writing at that time, we would be out of balance.

    Our family went through some rough times this last spring, and I knew that as much as I wanted to run away and hide in my writing, it would be the wrong thing to do.

    Sometimes balance is just doing the next thing, whatever that thing is.

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  16. You're right, things like this don't last, but even during them we can trust God to help us. Great post Jill! I'm in Florida and things seem to be getting tighter and tighter.

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  17. Beautiful post, Jill. You're right. Hard times are easier to bear when we have a timeline. Thank you for reminding me to count my blessings. :D

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  18. Tess: I'm all for more creativity and faith! Your comment made me smile!

    Natalie: I'm amazed by people's strenght too. I agree that these times can make us smarter and stronger. Nice message. Thanks.

    Wendy: You are awesome. Always looking out for others. You inspire me.

    Cindy: Well said. There is always time for prayer.

    Nancy: We downsized a few years ago too, and boy, am I glad we did! I feel awful for those who couldn't, though.

    Regina: I'm ready for the cloud over our area to lift. I hope your troubles clear up real soon.

    Erica: You're right. Our families need us more when times are tough. Even though it may be the last thing we want to do, we sometimes have to give more of ourselves and less to our writing. Then, the time passes and we get back to normal!

    Jessica: It seems to be happening all over the U.S.--I'll pray for your area.

    Danyelle: Oh, definitely. I take challenges much better when I know they will end. It's the endlessness that gets me!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  19. I'm praying for economic recovery. I know it's worse in the US than here, but it's still bad here too. Far too much stress and loss, but hopefully the hope for a brighter tomorrow is returning.

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  20. Eileen: The stock market stabilizing has helped bring hope for a brighter tomorrow. Let's hope the worst of the recession is over, right?

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  21. Great post! I know too many people who are going through this now. Even though my husband's days off are very limited, and we don't have great insurance, I remind myself that we are blessed with what we do have. I pray that the economy improves soon.

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  22. Hey, Jill. I like this post, but I, too, am sadened by many reports out there.

    I'm ejoying all of your "balance" posts. They really speak to me.

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  23. What a freeing thought - maybe it isn't time for balance. I needed to hear that before bed tonight...so thanks for that :)

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  24. This is a great post, Jill. I think we've all been affected by the collapse of the economy in varying degrees, let's just hope things start to get better for everyone as our nation recovers.

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  25. Oh, gosh, that's on the mark. We live in Houston and are being told that we're not even being hit as hard as the rest of the country - yet we're spending more on the 'basics' than ever, have had to sustain two pay cuts, may lose our insurance (thanks to AT&T), and eating out or seeing a movie is a thing of the past. I feel for those that are in a far worse situation - because as it is for us, it sucks big time. But, hopefully this won't kill us, will make us stronger and won't go on forever. Hopefully, this too shall pass. *fingers tightly crossed*

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  26. CMOM: I feel very blessed for what we have too. Keep praying!

    Heather: Thank you.

    Beth: I know what you're going through! Don't even think about balance!

    Lisa and Laura: My sentiments too!

    Texas Playwright Chick: I'm so sorry. I know what you're going through. It's sad when we're drooling over a Chili's commercial, isn't it? :)

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  27. "Maybe this is the time to do what you can to get through it." That seems to be my family's story right now. My husband and I have been married for 3 1/2 years and we have two small children that are the absolute delight of our day. We have high aspirations: get out of debt, pay bills on time, bless others with what they need, etc..., but right now we are doing just what you said...trying to get through it. It won't last always though. Our breakthrough comes after the storm. :)

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