Monday, June 13, 2011

Marriage is NOT Outdated

When I log onto the Internet each morning, a slew of headlines attempt to grab my attention. I ignore the Kardashian news and the endless health-care reform debate, but before I click on my e-mail account, one headline succeeds.

"Cameron Diaz says marriage is outdated."

Vows
Photo by psd

Hmm...must read that one. I head to UsMagazine.com for the scoop. "Cameron Diaz: Marriage is a Dying Institution," (full article is linked) references Cameron's interview in June's Maxim issue where she claims marriage is a dying institution.

"I think we have to make our own rules," she explains. "I don't think we should live our lives in relationships based off old traditions that don't suit our world any longer."
I'm always leery of hearing "we have to make our own rules." And I'm cringing double-time at the assumption that old traditions don't suit our world any longer.

Look, I believe the Bible is God's word, and because of my beliefs, I disagree that we should create our own rules or that we should go against God's teachings to suit current circumstances. If you don't share my beliefs, I understand why you would be more open to Cameron's philosophy. But even if you don't live by the Bible, marriage doesn't have to be tossed out like a primitive washboard.

Marriage is the single biggest blessing in my life. No marriage is perfect, but there's a lot to be said for weathering years of ups and downs and still smiling at each other over an episode of Storage Wars. Marriage anchors me--gives me a security and trust that envelope me every day. Do I worry about the laugh-lines around my eyes or the fact I'm not always the spontaneous, nurturing girl I once was? Yes. But that girl still peeks out for the one guy who thrilled her way back when and continues to make her heart beat faster now.

Marriage is not outdated. Not for me, anyway.

Michael Hyatt has an excellent article, "How to Become Your Spouse's Best Friend," for all those in favor of outdated institutions! Check it out!

Also, the incredible Jessica R. Patch is interviewing me today! If you get a chance, stop by her blog and say "hi"!

Have a magnificent Monday!

33 comments:

  1. Maybe in the Hollywood world it's outdated. But I agree with you. Maybe she's just afraid of commitment? :)

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  2. Despite not being a believer in marriage, I think it's a bit far to say it's outdated.

    Just let each couple make their own decisions without bombarding everyone with a new social expectation. Forcing opinions on people like this is just as bad as insisting people should marry.

    I'm not married, but my partner and I live like a married couple and have no intention in splitting our partnership up. We don't need a piece of paper declaring our commitment to each other. Our 'word' is enough for us. But that's just 'us,' and it's definitely not something I intend to preach to the world!

    lol. What a silly article. We have enough social expectations to live up to in this world. The media should leave love alone.

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  3. Of course not. Each to their own, I suppose. It depends on your values and what works for you.

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  4. Marriage is the one "institution" (which is a stuffy word, but I've only had a few sips of coffee yet this morning, so I can't yet think of a better) that has been around as long as we have had civilization. If it has lasted this long, who are we to say WE, of all civilizations and generations, have risen above it and don't need it anymore?

    Forms of government change. The way we do commerce changes. Other things change, even the way marriage looks, across time and across cultures. But marriage itself is always there.

    The arrogance implied behind her statement blow my mind.

    (And I know there are many other, far better, argument for marriage, but this one is one of the most basic and logical, and I always like to start at the bottom and work my way up when it comes to debating!)

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  5. Totally agree - marriage is the biggest blessing in my life. Wouldn't trade it for the world.

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  6. Good morning!

    Laura: Maybe?! I don't know, but the wedding planning industry gets bigger and bigger every year. If it's outdated, why hasn't it gone away?

    Jessica B: I know it isn't always easy being honest on a blog that counters our personal views--so I really appreciate your candor. Sometimes stars' opinions and declarations (remember Gisele Bundchen's jaw-dropping views on babies last year?) get on my nerves!

    Elle: I agree. We all have our own set of life experiences that shape our opinions and values. :)

    ELouise: Well put!!

    Katie: Right on!

    Thank you so much for stopping by!

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  7. Hmm? What world does Cameron live in? I thought it was Hollywood. Doesn't she see that Hollywood still loves a good falling in love/get married movie? And I hate when actors try to push their agenda on the public whether it be on morals, politics, or social norms.

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  8. Amen!! I can't imagine my life without marriage:)

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  9. That is a broad statement from someone in Hollywood where society weddings are splashed all over the magazines. So marriage is not for her, no need to say it's not for everyone.
    I'll be celebrating my 16th wedding anniversary this month. Yes, it has ups and downs, but we are committed to each other and our family. Nothing outdated about that.

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  10. It is tricky when people ask why I am 'still' single after 14 years of divorce. I wonder if Cameron gets asked why she isn't and grapples for a fresh answer too.
    I would love to be married again and believe it is a blessing designed by God. There was a time I believed different but thankfully His word is unchanging, changing me.

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  11. Because I base my views on the word of God, I have to say, marriage--thumbs up! (26 yrs. and counting!)

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  12. Em: And my UsWeekly (I'm probably a hypocrite since I love reading about celebrities!) features a glamorous wedding at least once a month. :)

    Terri: Woo-hoo!

    Kelly: Wow--congrats on 16 years!! Good points, too!

    Lynn: I don't believe everyone MUST be married--marriage works with the right person. Without the right person, we're better single. But for those in committed relationships, why not take the plunge? Marriage has a lot going for it! Thanks for sharing on a tough topic. :)

    Wendy: Me too. :)

    Cynthia: 26 years! Congratulations!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  13. Marriage is a gift and a blessing.

    Some people just want to make up their own rules to the game.

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  14. I think marriage is the foundation of a stable society. 'Nuff said.
    ;-)

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  15. I think it's a commitment issue. I don't think commitment is outdated at all.

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  16. Twenty-two years ago I made one of the best decisions of my life--to marry my husband. Our marriage has had some trials, but he's my biggest supporter. He's my security. He's my friend. I know I can always go to him about anything. I'm so thankful for him.

    I don't believe marriage is outdated, but I'm a traditionalist with conservative views. I really don't put a lot of stock in what people in Hollywood say. If Joyce Meyer or Patsy Clairmont said marriage was outdated, I'd be more concerned about their thoughts than Cameron Diaz.

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  17. Loree: You're right. I've never liked making my own rules. :)

    Melissa: Ooh, go get 'em, Tiger! Love it!

    Stephanie: I don't either. Commitment is a beautiful thing.

    Lisa: I know exactly what you're saying, and I agree. And you're right about Cameron Diaz too!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  18. I totally agree with you. You made your point with great passion and wit. Love it. It's the long run that makes it fun, right?

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  19. Your post is so timely and on point, Jill. Just yesterday at church, our pastor gave a sermon on affair-proofing the marriage and making it last. At the end, he had all the married couples stand up and renew their vows. The men presented roses to their brides. It was very beautiful. I cried when my husband gave me a pink one.

    Marriage is here to stay, no matter what.

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  20. I, too, am astounded by her bold statement. While I definitely don't think that marriage is outdated,I sadly have to see the validity of her statement. Not that what she says is the way it SHOULD be, but that is the trends in society today, and it just makes me sad. You know? The devil is alive and thriving b/c we are turning from the "old ways".

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  21. Marriage rocks! My husband is my best friend ever. I can't imagine life without him.

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  22. Oh, I so agree with you, dear friend. I know horrible marriages are a pit of despair, but mine is a treasure--the best gift of my entire life.

    Thanks for this post!

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  23. How funny and weird that people actually believe we're a modern society set apart from all that have come before. Marriage as an institution has weathered all kinds of libertine societies. Why? Marriage makes sense because it's the most financially stable way of raising children and/or growing old. And that's not to mention the emotional stability of always having a good friend. But Cameron Diaz is a rich movie star. Any stability she finds will be emotional rather than financial. Most of us don't have her luxuries.

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  24. I'm not married, but I also don't believe that marriage is out-dated. I think most of the celebrities who state this, are alone.....trying to justify by placing some sort of political agenda around it.

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  25. After almost 52 years of marriage, I certainly don't think it's outdated! I'm more inclined to think those who want to make their own rules are people who don't really understand the commitment of the institution. I don't think they realize there is a difference between eros and agape love, and are unprepared for working at love after the immature initial bloom fades a bit. I also suspect if they took longer to prepare for marriage there would be fewer people trying to escape from it later. That's my two bits worth, anyway. :)

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  26. Nancy: Wow, thank you! I appreciate it! It IS the long run that makes it more fun!

    Brandi: Oh, how sweet! I would have cried too. I'm a sucker for romantic gestures--and how thoughtful and intelligent of your pastor to think of it.

    Ralene: Yes. I get it too--the idea of marriage just doesn't have as much to offer in society now than it did in the past. And that makes me sad. Well put.

    Keli: Right on, sister!

    Jeannette: Yeah, I've been blessed with a great marriage. I can't imagine being in a terrible one. You've reminded me to say some extra prayers tonight--thanks.

    Jill: Very good points. Marriage is still a foundation for financial stability. Two people working toward one goal... :)

    Tiffany: You're right. And I think too, we hone our opinions until they stick. I'm sure she means what she says and has valid reasons to feel this way. I, however, feel the opposite because of my life experience. :)

    Carol: You should be a counselor--there's a lot of wisdom in your comment! (Congrats on 52 years!!!)

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  27. I'm with you Jill! What's with some people making blank statements like Diaz? It's like saying one size fits all, which is impossible.

    I believe marriage is a sacred oath. I love my husband. Yes, we've had difficult times, but we've had more easy times. And I'd much rather go through this journey of life with him than alone.

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  28. Kathi: Same here--marriage isn't always (or ever? just kidding) easy! But it's worth it to me!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  29. Wow! What an interesting point.... I don't think that marriage is outdated, but as a society, we've changed our expectation of it. I know people who invested all their time and obscene amounts of money into the ceremony, like the day itself was the most significant thing. Mrs Dim and I went through three days of misery post wedding until we both confessed we were terrified we had made a hghastly mistake. Once we realised we were the same people we had always been, we could relax. Fifteen years later, being together is as natural and fun as ever. Like one of your commenters already said , I don't "need" a piece of paper to underline my commitment to Mrs Dim, but I'm glad we decided to stand up in front of our friends and declare it. Privately, we had agreed on only five years, for definite. After ten, we had a renewal ceremony, so the weasels could be there and make some vows too.
    But Hollywood is it's own world, where who you're married to is as important as why you're marrying them, plus you have to factor in how much they take away if you break up. I think Hollywood marriage might be outdated. But for real people? I think it's a worthwhile thing.

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  30. Damian: I enjoyed reading your take on marriage--congrats to you and Mrs. Dim! May you keep renewing for years to come. :)

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  31. I think that's one of those concepts that Hollywood demonstrates so often. In Anthropology I studied a concept that is sadly growing, it's called serial monogamy. Basically it's applying the long term relationship ideals and just adding a ring, so when the inevitable break up happens it's just a shift like you broke up with a BF/GF.
    In this article however, I think it's more about what the publisher wants to convey to sell copies. Celeb's are normal people that we grant additional privileges to as a culture. If this was Bob and Mary down the street it wouldn't be news and we wouldn't think anything of it.

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  32. I attended a beautiful wedding just today that I think proves that marriage is NOT outdated... they obviously love each other very much, and have been through a lot together. Their friends and family can attest that they will be better people for not only knowing each other, but being together for the rest of their lives.

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