I've yammered on and on about balance. Here are my top tips to unbalance your life.
Photo by gravestone
1. Say yes to everything!
Sew three costumes by this weekend? Sure!
You need eighty-five and a half cupcakes tomorrow? No problem!
Pick up Aunt Bertha from Tennessee even though I'm nine hours away? Will do!
2. Justify an Internet, videogame, Lifetime Television addiction as necessary
"Mom? We haven't eaten all week, we're hungry!"
"Hang on, I need to catch the end of "Mother, Run Away from Danger in the form of Tori Spelling."
"Honey? I haven't seen you in seven days. You alright?"
"Bowser isn't going to win Mario Kart himself--give me a minute!"
"Missy, it's Christmas morning. Aren't you gonna open presents?"
"Let me check Facebook one more time!"
3. Under no circumstances do anything nice for yourself
I could read one chapter... How dare you! When there's a pile of dishes in the sink.
I could go shopping with Jennie for an hour... Blast it woman! You don't deserve it.
I could listen to music and eat a scone... Or you could get your buns downstairs and pay bills.
4. Do everything for your family, even if they're capable and have time to do it themselves
Oh that Johnny. Tsk, tsk. Fourteen is too young to put clothes in the hamper...
Candy wrappers? On every step? Hmm... Must have been a candy bandit. I'll pick them up.
Gotta run! Drats. Garbage night. "Kids, don't get up from the couch--I'll take the trash out."
I really should write a few pages tonight. Right after I watch this rerun of Alf.
I could do a few sit-ups. But I ate three hours ago and it might upset my stomach.
The planets aligned and I have six hours to write! Or nap, or pick lint off my sweater, or...
Have a terrific weekend!