But I kicked the covers off and trudged to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and hair, then tossed on stretchy pants and a T-shirt. Somehow I made it through the rest of the morning routine. I dove into project number one on my calendar. Ate lunch. Tackled project number two.
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| This picture was taken about five years ago when I still made an effort with my appearance every day. P.S. I miss my giant cat, Cookie. |
Throughout my entire adult life I've put on makeup and made some effort with my hair each morning. Yes, I work from home, but I refuse to wear yoga pants or sweat pants during the day. Jeans and a sweater or tee were my work uniform until two years ago when my weight started creeping up. My work uniform felt uncomfortably tight. Yoga pants slipped into the daily wardrobe. I wore make-up less often.
I'd descended down the slippery slope of not taking care of myself. My attitude was primed to plummet as well.
Which leads me back to Wednesday. After football/cross country practice, I put on workout pants and headed to the park for a nice long walk. But I wasn't in a good mood. Oh, no. I was irritated.
These are the things that went through my head as I stretched.
I'm tired of the alarm waking me up every morning.
I'm sick of brushing my teeth.
Flossing is really annoying.
I'm tired of eating. Nothing sounds good.
Why does showering take so long?
I'm really over having to go to bed every night.
Did you get that? Yeah, basically I was tired of going to bed, getting up, showering, and eating.
*raises eyes to ceiling*
I don't even know what to say in my defense. It's ridiculous! I'm ridiculous!!
After my walk/run, I went home with a firm goal. I was going to make an effort with myself again. Yes, that means make-up. And firing up the curling iron or straightener, pulling on jeans and a decent shirt, and not complaining about going to bed/waking up/flossing/eating, which, come on, is stupid to complain about anyhow!!
Today my hair is straight and shiny. My outfit isn't embarrassing. My arms even look toned in this shirt. And I'm looking forward to my broccoli-cheese soup for lunch. :)
Have you ever gotten to a mental low point where even simple daily tasks irritated you? How did you get through it?
Enjoy your weekend!
OHHHH! YES!!
ReplyDeleteI'm sitting here in a shirt I slept in, and flannel pj pants. I know I have a toothbrush somewhere.
Hmmm.
And really, if I'm not going out, who cares?
But what if someone comes to the door?
I just don't answer it!!
Problem solved.
I love the way you think. Problem solved, indeed!! :)
DeleteNot really, or I don't remember it.
ReplyDeleteAt the far side of a night when it hurt too much to sleep, a whole day of tasks await. They simply have to be done, one after the other, and it does not matter how I feel. It's going to hurt, I know that.
But at the end of it, at the end of the inevitable blood loss and passing out while trying to write, being out with the dogs and having the world start spinning before I hit the ground...there's something to be gained.
I'm still here.
http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2014/09/healing-harmony-in-your-marriage.html
You're absolutely right. We're blessed to have each day. Take care, Andrew, and thanks for stopping by.
DeleteI've been here, and reading, but it's been hard to focus enough to frame a coherent reply some days. For that I'm sorry.
DeleteDon't be sorry! I struggle to get around to blogs as much anymore!
DeleteJill: This time of year, when my fibro, starts talking to me, everything is a royal chore to do. I don't wear my hair curly, unless I have just had it cut. I have a secret way of doing things that would embarrass me if I told it. I have decided I need to stop that practice.
ReplyDeleteI'm all about shortcuts, Cecelia! Maybe they aren't the way everyone else does them, but that doesn't make them wrong! I'm sorry your fybro acts up this time of year. I hope you rest and be patient with yourself. *hugs*
DeleteOh yes, I've been here, Jill. I have gotten so tired of blow drying my hair. So, I've been keeping it wet ... just spraying it with a little spray for curls ... and going with it. It doesn't look great ... but it takes such less time. I've even gone to bed a few times lately without washing my face. I've never done that. Since my surgery ... I'm just tired. But I was getting tired of it all before that. More than anything ... I'm sick of cooking and cleaning house. Grrr. Has to be done though. But I've been doing a lot more frozen pizzas and microwave meals lately ... steaming potatoes ... easy stuff. I feel your pain, sweet friend!
ReplyDeleteHey, Aussie hair products (the dark purple bottles) has a special spray for scrunching wet curls. Embrace it!! I hear you on the not washing your face. I always do! But when I'm grumpy and tired? Forget it. I should buy those face wipes!! Sometimes I feel like I "won" just by having frozen pizzas in the house!!
DeleteHi Jill -
ReplyDeleteI've been there during times of depression. There's nothing like good worship music, prayer, and time in the Word to get my day off to a good start. Sometimes all I need is a solid night's sleep.
One thing I've discovered - giving in to those down feelings doesn't help. It makes things worse. I'm glad you've got your fight back. Praying for you.
Hugs,
Susan
You are SO right, Susan. I start every day with two chapters of the Bible and a lot of prayer. It makes all the difference. Late afternoons are my toughest. I'm just in a busy phase and I have to remind myself of that!!
Delete