3 Ways to Bulldoze Fear

Part of my blog is the idea of "exiting safe." We all have our own cocoon of safety, and that cocoon often morphs as our lives change. Sometimes the safe zone is a good place to be, but other times we can feel ourselves outgrowing it, yet we dig our claws in and cling.


Why is it so hard to leave safety sometimes?

I can only speak for myself, but fear is a big part of it. I've clung to many cocoons over the years--being okay with an extra five pounds because I was afraid of giving up thirty minutes to exercise every weekday, doing chores my children could do because I was afraid of moving into a new phase of parenting, rushing to try to learn everything about writing because I was afraid of being left behind--or worse, quitting.

I still fight those extra five pounds; I still occasionally do chores on my kids' lists, and I still work hard to learn about writing--but I'm no longer motivated by fear in these areas.

We can work through our fears. These concepts aren't new but they are worth reviewing.

1. Focus on the steps rather than the goal.I'm not saying the end result isn't important--we should have a concrete idea of what we want to accomplish--but the thought of getting there can paralyze us. The goal can feel far away, unreachable. It's easy to give up on "losing forty pounds," or "writing two novels this year," because we don't know if it's possible. We fail before we even try. It's less threatening to "work out on the treadmill at 3mph for thirty minutes," or "write 500 words."

2. Get support.

No matter what your fear-inducing goal is I guarantee there's a support group ready to help you. An Internet search can lead you to forums and professional organizations. It's much easier to keep going when you can share your struggle with someone striving for the same goal. Not every day will be perfect. Not every week will be perfect. But when we have friends cheering us and pushing us forward, we can find the courage to keep going.

3. Stay accountable.
This is the tough one. In order to leave our safe zones and go after our dreams, we have to be honest with ourselves. If we really want to change, we're the ones who have to do the work. We have to carve out time to do new things, some of them scary, and we have to do them repeatedly.

Our precious schedule will have to be adjusted. Our family might fear the changes will affect them negatively. Through all this, we have to stay focused and stay accountable. If you want to lose weight, consider logging your workouts and keeping track of your food. Weigh yourself once a week. If you want to write that book, jot down how many words you wrote or how many chapters you revised. Add it up each week. It will be obvious if you've slacked off. Forgive yourself and move on.

We will always be striving for something. Life never becomes perfect. But when we truly work toward our dreams, we build confidence and we change our lives.

How do you work through fear?

Have a wonderful Monday!

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