January is coming to a close and with it this series of writing prompts. I know you are crying. :(
I've had a lot of fun free-writing to these prompts. My inner editor could not be silenced, but instead of "fixing" the problems, I detailed what I would have done to fix them. A good lesson on its own.
Here's the final prompt--I hope you enjoy it!
Photo by plainsartmuseum
Here's what I came up with:
Ahh...sweet, glorious, purple nectar! Bree, who hated her name since it rhymed with her species, flew into the biggest cluster she could see. She rolled, smiling, and inhaled the beauty of spring. Time to get to business. She scanned for the best spot.
And saw him. Johnny. A buzz pushed her wings faster.
Please let him not see me. Please let him not...
"Hey, Bree-Bee. You've got some nerve stopping in here today. It's my territory."
"Says who?" She tried to sound brave.
"Says me. After that little stunt you pulled the other night, you'll be lucky to show your face at any flower on this block."
I would have changed the word "since" in the second sentence because it can be misread. Also, "the beauty of spring" doesn't really match the connotation. It's generic. I would have spent time coming up with a better phrase. Everything about the second paragraph annoys me. I would have reworded it or scrapped it!
"You've got some nerve," is a cliche, and I highly doubt a bee named Johnny would say, "...at any flower on this block."
What comes to mind when you see lilacs? Did you try this prompt? What did you come up with? Feel free to e-mail me! jill(at)jillkemerer(dot)com
Have a wonderful Wednesday!!