Monday, August 16, 2010

Trite Advice

Have you ever heard trite advice spewing from your mouth? Have you been on the receiving end of such gems? I know most is common sense, but trite advice can rankle the calmest soul.


Don't sweat the small stuff. Okay, when I'm rational and calm, I don't sweat the small stuff. But after I've walked past a kitchen counter mounded with random belongings from my kids' rooms six times in a row and have asked them politely to put the stuff away each time, by the seventh go-round, I'm sweating the small stuff. I'm not just sweating it, I'm shooting it with hand grenades.

It'll happen in good time. Yep. Got it. But sometimes I want it to happen in my time, which is right this second.

The grass is always greener. Actually, that's true. The grass is greener over there. Don't believe me? I've got binoculars to spy on the neighbor's grass. I'll lend them to you.

What trite advice gets on your nerves? Please share!

26 comments:

  1. Don't get me started. Don't EVEN get me started.

    Love the polka dot dress and the white tea cup.

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  2. I think people whip out some pretty crazy ones when friends are experiencing loss. Sometimes it's better to be quiet than to quote a Bible verse or to say it's all God's, etc.

    Sometimes it's better just to be there and to be loving.

    Sometimes there are no words.
    ~ Wendy

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  3. Jill, This post is really timely for me. I'm beginning a submission process and my nerves just put me on the edge. This is when all those people who love you -- but don't understand this business -- lay these (not so helpful) words on you.

    I just keep whispering to myself that they are Really only trying to help.

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  4. Love your prim & proper image.
    is that YOUUUU??? LOL

    Hmmm. I find myself quoting the "Mom-isms" I'd NEVER do.

    If it's good, it's God.
    Let go and let God.

    Sometimes they really do seem appropriate.

    Blessings,
    P

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  5. I'd have to agree with Wendy. It seems like we come prepackaged with a kit of trite tidbits to toss out there when people are grieving, afraid, or ill. Sometimes it's better to say nothing at all!

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  6. Slow and steady wins the race..... sometimes I'm so slow I'm growing mold on me.... :O)

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  7. The list in endless. Most times listening is better than speaking, espcially since we don't know all the circumstances a person is facing.

    A simple smile, a gentle hug goes a long way.

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  8. Good morning!

    Cassandra: Isn't that a great pic? Was so glad I found it!

    Wendy: Oh, yes. We want to make all the pain go away, but it can't. No trite advice will help, either!

    Constance: Ha! Sorry, but I know. I know!

    Patti: Don't I wish? :) Love that little dress!

    Niki: Absolutely. Listening can be the nicest present.

    Diane: I am growing mold too! :) Funny!

    Tamika: Well said and so true! A hug and smile go far.

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  9. The saying that gets me is when I'm in a low spot and someone says, "I know just how you feel." I remind myself the person means well and is trying to be helpful, but what I want to hear is something more like, "I'm sorry. That must be really tough."

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  10. Love this quote: "I'm not just sweating it, I'm shooting it with hand grenades."

    Thanks, Jill, for making me laugh.

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  11. The grenade line tickled me, too. I've been known to launch a few RPG's around here from time to time. :)

    The most irritating thing about trite sayings? That mostly they're true. So annoying!

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  12. I just saw "the grass is greener" on a friend's Facebook. Only hers had the addition: Ever think it might be because there's even more manure on that side? LOL

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  13. I'm with Wendy here. Too many times I've had well-meaning friends give me trite advice when I'm really struggling, and it just sounds so cliche to be fake even though I don't think they meant it that way. Or I've had people insinuate that I don't love God at all when I was really struggling with some people-trust issues at one point. It's made me a little hesitant to talk to people sometimes when things are not going so well.

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  14. Keli: I'm guilty of that one. You're right--we don't know how everything feels and shouldn't assume we do.

    Paul: Thanks--sadly enough, it's not just funny, but it's true. :)

    Erica: They ARE true. That's why they're so annoying!

    CJ: Heh-heh! Good one!

    Abby: Sometimes I think people aren't listening to everything we say and they process the information incorrectly. Never fun to be on the receiving end of that.

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  15. "It's for the best..." I know people mean well with this statement, but it minimizes the pain I'm going through.

    Have a great week, Jill!

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  16. Hmmmm...I'm laughing at the Grass is greener, because I say that to hubby all the time, and I tell it to myself all the time too! HA!

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  17. Hi Jill -

    When hubby died, I heard a lot of the usual lines. The only thing I needed was a hug and a shoulder to cry on.

    Blessings,
    Susan

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  18. LOL! The grass is greener! :)

    Um, the one I hate is "good things happen to those who wait."
    ..... REALLY? Cause I been waiting FOREVER!!!! And the good thing was due like YESTERDAY!

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  19. Kelly: Yes! *sighing* with you!

    Maria: Uggh! True. And I know I've said that one.

    Katie: Ha! We all have our tried and true quotes.

    Susan: I agree. During times of grieving, we should keep our mouth closed more and our ears open.

    Tabitha: I hear you! :)

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  20. When I'm in mourning, I really don't like to hear something like, "Well, God wanted him/her more than you." That's like blaming God for my loved one's death. How 'bout blaming the bad guy? Satan?

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  21. Hi Jill! Ugh. Trite advice. Drives me nuts yet I totally catch myself saying it... it slips out at times when I don't know what else to say. I recently lost a pregancy and people keep coming up to me and saying things like "it's for the best" and "you'll get pregnant again soon"... so that's my recent trite advice that's been driving me insane.

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  22. In the face of all the recent rejections I've received, I've heard this: "They don't know what they're missing." or "Just keep trying." Sometimes, you just want to wallow in the rejection. For a minute. Or ten. Or an entire day. Then you just pick yourself up and keep on keepin' on.

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  23. Em: I know! And frankly, I'm not in the mood for rejoicing when a close loved one has died, even though they are in heaven. Even Jesus cried when Lazarus died.

    Erin: Oh no. I'm so sorry for your loss. There just isn't anything appropriate to say in that situation--I'm sending you virtual hugs.

    Melissa: Yep. And the longer you've been submitting, the longer you want to wallow!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  24. Jill, here's my advice for you...when life puts you behind a big truck with rocks in it, drive around it...(Yep, I made that up...)

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  25. Jill:
    I have learned that any advice given by someone who hasn't followed that same advice is trite.
    Also, advice given when words aren't what is needed.

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