Friday, February 5, 2010

Romance is Exclusive

Today we’re talking about another vital component to romance: it’s exclusive. Romance is inclusive in that it is between two people, but it is exclusive to all others. I don’t believe romance was meant to be shared between more than two people. You may disagree, but I don’t believe it is healthy when more are in the picture.

There are many dualities in the universe. Night and day. Good and evil. Sleep and awake. Male and female. Wouldn’t it be strange if there was another option besides male and female? It would bring a whole new level to planning for a baby, that’s for sure!

With romance, no more than two people are needed. In fact, it’s often disastrous when a third is brought into the mix. How many husbands have killed another man because of an affair? They don’t call them crimes of passion for nothing.

Romance and love require trust. How can I feel unique and special if my mate views another person with the same intensity? I don’t even believe it’s possible to feel the same intensity for two separate people. You will always be drawn to one over the other even if in time it changes.

In order for a romantic act to have impact, it assumes exclusivity. It tells the recipient “hey, you’re special.” I don’t think a woman would feel special if a man sent her and her best friend a dozen roses. I know I would not feel special; I would feel enraged.

Do you ever have a love triangle in your writing? How do you resolve it? Do you stay true to human nature and give your characters consequences for not respecting the feelings of others? Or does the main character get to have her cake and eat it too?

Have a wonderful weekend!


  1. I've never included a love triangle. Not really my style. I agree that it destroys the intentions of love.

    If I did include it there would be major consequences!

  2. I remember feeling weird reading The Bridges of Madison County for this very reason.

    ~ Wendy

  3. Good Morning!

    Tamika: I write happily ever afters, so the love triangle doesn't have a place in my books, either!

    Wendy: Yeah! I did not like the movie. All I could keep thinking is that this woman is cheating on her husband, and this man is abusing her vows. Sure, Clint Eastwood was sympathetic, but come on!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

  4. One of my favorite romance couples would have to be Jamie and Claire from the OUTLANDER series.

  5. No love triangles in my work either. It introduces a whole new dynamic to the story, and I think in a way, takes it over.

  6. Since I write mostly MG and picture books, I don't usually have romance. But in my YA that I am starting there will be romance. Between one boy and one girl. I don't see me doing the triangle thang. =)

    Happy weekend to you too Jill! =)

  7. I just heard this yesterday: It only took an instant to take one woman out of one man, but it takes a lifetime to put them back together. One plus one = two. Not three. No matter what new math or economists or politicians try to tell us.

  8. *rubs hands together*

    Love triangles. I have THREE love triangles in my book, Monarch. It's pretty intense. That sounds bad, doesn't it? Heh.

  9. When I read your post today the movie "Fireproof" came to mind. Every person in a relationship, married or not, wants to feel special and important. Without that feeling, the romance doesn't last.

  10. Actually, yes, sort of. In the second book to my series, two people are interested in my main character (though she doesn't date both or anything like that). But when she begins to have feelings for one and realizes they both have feelings for her, she sets things straight.

    And in a novel I am plotting to write later this year (the follow up to Dandelion Fields), the main character has to choose between two men as well. One is the one she was in love with when younger, the one she ran away from and the other was her best friend.

  11. I've never written a love triangle, but that would be interesting to play with!

  12. I sort of have a love triangle, but one of the participants is deceased so only his memory gets in the way.

  13. There's a whole series of somewhat cheapy romances in my library where each heroine has two men to choose from and she goes back and forth until near the end. I don't care for them much.

  14. No triangles yet, but will keep this in mind in case it ever comes up in my writing.
    Happy weekend,

  15. Caroline: Welcome! I found the Outlander series last year. Jamie is the ideal hero--so heroic, so zoned in on Claire. I can't even imagine him having eyes for another woman!

    Joanne: I agree. In real life, I'm not a manipulative game player, and to me, that's what a love triangle is.

    Robyn: YA--fun!

    Niki: Definitely. There are rules to the universe.

    Lady Glam: Three?? I'm grinning! I bet Monarch has loads of tension!

    CMOM: Great movie and great message. Right on target!

    Cindy: Nice use of love triangle--although I think that's more real life than say a woman juggling two men at once. Can't wait to read it!

    Kristen: Loads of possibilities...

    Susan M: Okay, I'm intrigued! She can't let go of the past, huh? Nice!

    Nancy: What I don't get is why any guy would accept that?? Have a little self-respect!

    Karen: Happy weekend to you too!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

  16. Wonderful post, AS USUAL!
    Have never had a love triangle but I REALLY try to make my characters "Pay" for what I perceive as ungodly moral choices.

    Natasha has really helped my conceptualization re this point.


  17. I do have a bit of a love triangle in my current manuscript. Partly imagined and exaggerated on my heroine's behalf, though.

  18. My next manuscript will have a seeming love triangle, but never fear, it will all work out.

    Susan :)

  19. The YA I'm working on has a love interest in it. The mc thinks she's in love until the relationship goes toxic and she meets someone who helps her to see what love is and isn't.

  20. I don't like to share. period. Therefore neither do my characters. :) :)

    PS. I should clarify I don't like to share my romance - I will share my pizza ...

  21. Patti: Me too. It's one way to get justice in an unjust world!

    Katie: Sounds delicious!

    Susan J: I'm sure it will! *wink, wink*

    Sharon: Ahh...sounds perfect!

    Jaime: I'm quite possessive. Glad I'm not alone!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

  22. I like love triangles in fiction, but never in life.


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