The world's bursting with a rainbow-colored array of things to do. Everywhere I look, I find another fascinating topic I could pursue. Millions of hobbies, countless volunteer opportunities, and vast possibilities call to me on an ongoing basis. And I want to do them all!!
My library bag can attest to it. I can think of seven hobbies I'd love to pursue but don't have time to at this point in my life. Make that ten. Twenty...
It's a challenge I face every single day, sometimes several times a day. How do I mesh my desire to LIVE with my life? Does that make sense?
I'm the type of person who is never good in a bubble. My writing takes up a large portion of my day, but I'd get burned out if I let it overtake my entire life. I need variety, structure, and a constant stream of magazines to flip through.
I talk to many women who are writers--I'm sure it's the same for men, too--we're all juggling enormous responsibilities. It doesn't matter if we're single, married, with kids, without kids--we're juggling many duties at once. And the juggling doesn't always go smoothly.
Every two to three months I spend a little time in thought and analyze my current balance. How am I doing with my writing? Would I feel better if I were writing more or less? Have I let the promotional side of writing overtake my day? What about the non-writing stuff: am I doing the job I want to with my family, my household, my free time? Are my relationships suffering? Have I taken on too many volunteer positions? Not enough?
The answers are always different because my life is always changing. I realized recently that my schedule was not working for me any longer. I'd let little things slip in here and there until they'd overtaken my main purpose.
So, I put up fences to protect my personal time. Since the computer--specifically, the internet--can suck up my day if I let it, I've made a few rules: I have 45 minutes to check e-mails, etc... before I write. Once I've met my daily writing goal, I can pursue what I want until 5:00 pm. However, after 5:00pm the office and computer are off-limits.
This is hard people!!
I've done it for one week, and already, it's made a positive impact on my life. My mind isn't racing at 7:00pm. The stack of magazines on the coffee table? I'm savoring each and every one.
And best of all, I'm enjoying my family, not working feverishly to do "one more thing."
What about you? Is your schedule working for you? Do you feel satisfied or overwhelmed each day? What can you change about it? Sometimes we have to make tough decisions in order to get our life back on track.
I'd love to hear from you!
Join me on Friday for a few fun links.
And...
Write Already! It's Wednesday!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Calm Those Irrational Fears
Last week we talked about fears that creep up and paralyze our writing. Guess what? We don't have to put up with fear. We don't have to pay attention to the medley of irrational thoughts playing in our head.
I'm sure you've heard the saying "you have to face your fears." Writers, especially, should follow this advice. Left unchallenged, rotten thoughts will erode our confidence and stifle our talent.
Here are a few come-backs for specific fears.
Fear 1: "I'm never going to be able to write an entire novel. It would take me YEARS!"
Come-back 1: "I can write a novel--one word at a time. Plenty of people finish novels. Why should I be any different?"
Fear 2: "My writing is boring, and the grammar is amateurish. No one would ever want to read it."
Come-back 2: "I'm intelligent, and my writing is boring, full of amateurish grammar sections, I can fix it. I want to read my work, and that's all that matters right now."
Fear 3: "The editor I just submitted to is going to laugh at my query/synopsis/partial."
Come-back 3: "I've done my homework and put together a polished, thoughtful submission."
Fear 4: "It's going to take me a decade--no, a century!--to get published."
Come-back 4: "I have no idea how long it will take me to get published, but I will continue writing, submitting, and learning while I wait."
We all have fears. I deal with new ones on a regular basis. The key for me is to not let myself dwell on ridiculous fears. I talk back to them! It works!
Another way to lick fear is to talk to another writer about it. Writers are generous creatures and they always make me feel better. Some people just have a knack for saying the words I need to hear.
Fear also burrows in when I'm extra-stressed. Sometimes we're able to keep fear under control until we start a new manuscript, submit a project, find out someone we know just got "the call," or get another rejection letter. I try to keep that in mind when the same fear keeps rearing its ugly head.
We need to prevent fear from breeding by feeding our souls. I discussed this earlier in the year, but I think it's a good time to re-hash the concept. When we're overworked, overtired, and stressed out, our minds become susceptible to fears.
So take time for yourself. Do something that brings a smile to your face and a happy sigh to your heart. And don't feel guilty. You need this.
So...how do you deal with fears? Do you talk back to them? Call a friend? Dive into a slice of delicious cake? Take a walk? I'd love to hear from you.
Join me on Wednesday for a light discussion on setting limits.
And...
Get Motivated! It's Monday!
I'm sure you've heard the saying "you have to face your fears." Writers, especially, should follow this advice. Left unchallenged, rotten thoughts will erode our confidence and stifle our talent.
Here are a few come-backs for specific fears.
Fear 1: "I'm never going to be able to write an entire novel. It would take me YEARS!"
Come-back 1: "I can write a novel--one word at a time. Plenty of people finish novels. Why should I be any different?"
Fear 2: "My writing is boring, and the grammar is amateurish. No one would ever want to read it."
Come-back 2: "I'm intelligent, and my writing is boring, full of amateurish grammar sections, I can fix it. I want to read my work, and that's all that matters right now."
Fear 3: "The editor I just submitted to is going to laugh at my query/synopsis/partial."
Come-back 3: "I've done my homework and put together a polished, thoughtful submission."
Fear 4: "It's going to take me a decade--no, a century!--to get published."
Come-back 4: "I have no idea how long it will take me to get published, but I will continue writing, submitting, and learning while I wait."
We all have fears. I deal with new ones on a regular basis. The key for me is to not let myself dwell on ridiculous fears. I talk back to them! It works!
Another way to lick fear is to talk to another writer about it. Writers are generous creatures and they always make me feel better. Some people just have a knack for saying the words I need to hear.
Fear also burrows in when I'm extra-stressed. Sometimes we're able to keep fear under control until we start a new manuscript, submit a project, find out someone we know just got "the call," or get another rejection letter. I try to keep that in mind when the same fear keeps rearing its ugly head.
We need to prevent fear from breeding by feeding our souls. I discussed this earlier in the year, but I think it's a good time to re-hash the concept. When we're overworked, overtired, and stressed out, our minds become susceptible to fears.
So take time for yourself. Do something that brings a smile to your face and a happy sigh to your heart. And don't feel guilty. You need this.
So...how do you deal with fears? Do you talk back to them? Call a friend? Dive into a slice of delicious cake? Take a walk? I'd love to hear from you.
Join me on Wednesday for a light discussion on setting limits.
And...
Get Motivated! It's Monday!
Friday, April 10, 2009
Good Friday
Today is a very special day. As a lifelong Christian, Good Friday brought (and brings) me in touch with my deepest emotions. Even as a young child, I was awed by Christ's sacrifice for me, for you, for all man-kind.
I'm still awed and humbled and bursting with joy. If anything has changed over the years, I would say that my understanding of God's pure and abiding love for us is even greater than I could ever imagine. He delights in us even when we're singing off key. He is helping us even when we're grumbling and cranky. He smiles at our less-than-stellar first drafts. He comforts us when life feels too hard.
People, humans, have enormous standards. We tell people to aim for the moon but are terribly disappointed when the rocket explodes while being launched. We expect our leaders to fix every problem with the economy, the war, the banks, the auto manufacturers. And when the leaders don't? We don't give them the benefit of the doubt. We choose not to see the big picture, the forces beyond their control. We don't give them a second chance; we expect them to resign. We can be very unforgiving.
God is infinitely more forgiving than we are. He's the one nudging us to continue our writing when we get another rejection letter. He's the one whispering in our ear, "but I like it," when we're convinced no one will ever like our work. Yes, God has high standards, but he also has endless patience and love for his believers.
Good Friday. How true that is.
Enjoy your weekend and have a Happy Easter!
Please leave a comment, I'll be back to moderate next week.
I'm still awed and humbled and bursting with joy. If anything has changed over the years, I would say that my understanding of God's pure and abiding love for us is even greater than I could ever imagine. He delights in us even when we're singing off key. He is helping us even when we're grumbling and cranky. He smiles at our less-than-stellar first drafts. He comforts us when life feels too hard.
People, humans, have enormous standards. We tell people to aim for the moon but are terribly disappointed when the rocket explodes while being launched. We expect our leaders to fix every problem with the economy, the war, the banks, the auto manufacturers. And when the leaders don't? We don't give them the benefit of the doubt. We choose not to see the big picture, the forces beyond their control. We don't give them a second chance; we expect them to resign. We can be very unforgiving.
God is infinitely more forgiving than we are. He's the one nudging us to continue our writing when we get another rejection letter. He's the one whispering in our ear, "but I like it," when we're convinced no one will ever like our work. Yes, God has high standards, but he also has endless patience and love for his believers.
Good Friday. How true that is.
Enjoy your weekend and have a Happy Easter!
Please leave a comment, I'll be back to moderate next week.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Fear of Change
The title of this post is broad, so I'll narrow down the focus. Writers at every stage in their career deal with change. I think every new change will fill some writers with terror due to their inherent personality, while the same changes will be easily shrugged off by people with a different temperament.
One thing I understand about myself is that I am who I am. I don't fight my feelings, but neither do I let them overpower me. It's okay to feel fear; it's not okay to let it stop you from living the fullest life of your dreams.
Writers who are just starting out may fear how their life will change. How will I fit writing into an already tight schedule? How will my friends or family adjust to my new commitment? And what if my book is an instant success--how will I deal with the changes that will bring to my life?
Writers who have already tackled those fears may face other scary monsters. What if this book gets rejected? What if I can't finish the next book? What if I run out of ideas? I've told a lot of people that I'm trying to get published; what if they all begin to think I'm a loser? What if the rejections keep coming? Will I have to decide if I want to continue writing? Maybe I was wrong--maybe I'm not really a writer?
Writers who've gotten "the call" and who've published a book or two may find themselves with a whole new set of fears. What if I was a one hit wonder? What if I sell my next book, but I get less sales? Will my editor still want me? What if my agent hates the proposals I come up with? Can I match my earlier success? What if I can't squeeze in the line-edits my editor needs in two days? How will I ever get all the promotional work done for my last book and still write my new book?
Writers who have been multi-published may have a different level of fears. Have I already written this premise before? What if my writing is getting stale? What if I run out of ideas? What if my editor decides she wants newer, younger, fresher writers? The enthusiasm and energy I had five years ago is wearing thin--how do I cut back on the number of books I put out without alienating my readers? Without my editor dropping me? When am I going to have time to enjoy my success?
There's a common illusion among unpublished writers who are trying to get published that once they get "the call" and their books are on shelves, their problems disappear. Fear? No way! What could they possibly be afraid of after their dream comes true?
Maybe some of the fears and problems will disappear, but new ones take their place. That's why it's vital to come up with strategies to deal with them. Fears will change, but we can use the same strategies to knock them down. Next week we'll look at ways to say "adios" to our fears.
Join me on Friday and...
Write Already! It's Wednesday!
One thing I understand about myself is that I am who I am. I don't fight my feelings, but neither do I let them overpower me. It's okay to feel fear; it's not okay to let it stop you from living the fullest life of your dreams.
Writers who are just starting out may fear how their life will change. How will I fit writing into an already tight schedule? How will my friends or family adjust to my new commitment? And what if my book is an instant success--how will I deal with the changes that will bring to my life?
Writers who have already tackled those fears may face other scary monsters. What if this book gets rejected? What if I can't finish the next book? What if I run out of ideas? I've told a lot of people that I'm trying to get published; what if they all begin to think I'm a loser? What if the rejections keep coming? Will I have to decide if I want to continue writing? Maybe I was wrong--maybe I'm not really a writer?
Writers who've gotten "the call" and who've published a book or two may find themselves with a whole new set of fears. What if I was a one hit wonder? What if I sell my next book, but I get less sales? Will my editor still want me? What if my agent hates the proposals I come up with? Can I match my earlier success? What if I can't squeeze in the line-edits my editor needs in two days? How will I ever get all the promotional work done for my last book and still write my new book?
Writers who have been multi-published may have a different level of fears. Have I already written this premise before? What if my writing is getting stale? What if I run out of ideas? What if my editor decides she wants newer, younger, fresher writers? The enthusiasm and energy I had five years ago is wearing thin--how do I cut back on the number of books I put out without alienating my readers? Without my editor dropping me? When am I going to have time to enjoy my success?
There's a common illusion among unpublished writers who are trying to get published that once they get "the call" and their books are on shelves, their problems disappear. Fear? No way! What could they possibly be afraid of after their dream comes true?
Maybe some of the fears and problems will disappear, but new ones take their place. That's why it's vital to come up with strategies to deal with them. Fears will change, but we can use the same strategies to knock them down. Next week we'll look at ways to say "adios" to our fears.
Join me on Friday and...
Write Already! It's Wednesday!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Common Fears of Beginning Writers
Maybe Monday isn't the best day to discuss fears, but I'm going to shrug it off and do it anyway. One reality of life is that when people have to deal with a difficult situation, they often feel as if no one on the planet has ever dealt with that situation before. The pain can feel isolating, and the correct course of action seems hazy because, of course, it's the first time EVER in the universe that particular problem has occurred.
Right?
I'm sure your snickering a little. Me too. We can be self-delusional at times, and it can be painful to realize other people have indeed been through what we're going through. You mean I'm not the first person on earth to ruin a friendship, get a divorce, forget a major appointment-- you fill in the blank. When we realize that we have plenty of company in our particular failure, there may be, for a brief moment, a sensation of let-down. After all, it can be a teeny bit romantic being such a spectacular failure--and the first one at that!
Later, though, comes an inevitable feeling of relief. If someone else has been in the same situation and lived to tell about it, well there really is hope. And that feels good!
With that in mind, I'm sharing with you a few common fears of beginning writers. Maybe you've been through these already, or maybe you've been spared these feelings? I know I've felt them at one time or another, and I still wrestle them down on occasion.
Inflated Belief #1: My writing is awesome! So clever, so original--it's going to knock the world's socks off!
Corresponding Fear #1: No one has actually read my work or commented on it. What if it not only doesn't knock the world's socks off, but it becomes a dart board of laughter at some editor's desk?
Hey, some writers do impress editors with their debut (and never-been-seen-by-anyone-other-than-dear-old-Aunt Betty) manuscripts. The majority, however, do not impress on the first go round. Guess what? That's okay. If you're reading this and haven't submitted a manuscript to an editor yet, I'm going to give you a great piece of advice that's been given to many, many writers. Have another writer critique it.
Find someone you trust, who you know will give you an honest, but kind, evaluation, or do the exact opposite and give it to a complete stranger. Whatever works for you. ACFW and RWA both have writing chapters where you can meet other writers or find an online critique group.
Another great option? Enter your manuscript in a few contests that offer feedback. It's not easy hearing our work isn't perfect, but it helps us grow as writers. And, hey, maybe you'll get lucky and it really is the greatest book by a debut author! You'll feel even more confident sending it to an editor.
Feedback will help you find a middle ground in your confidence level. You won't feel like a hopeless shmuck, nor will you have unfounded delusions of grandeur. You'll simply see areas where you can improve, and you'll see areas that you truly excel at. Then you can think how awesome you are--and mean it!
Inflated belief #2: A few people read my book and told me they loved it. It must be good.
Corresponding fear #2: They're just being nice. They hate it and are laughing behind my back at my ridiculous attempts to write a book. Why don't I just join the Witness Relocation Program and disappear?
The flip side of over-confidence in your writing is under-confidence. And yes, the two do appear simultaneously on occasion. Here's the reality of writing. Some people will read your work and they won't like it, but they'll do anything to avoid hurting your feelings. Other people, especially other writers who genuinely want to help you, will give you spot-on feedback. You have to honestly ask yourself which category the reader falls into. If you still lack confidence in your book, get a few more opinions. And always, always, trust your instincts. Don't take advice you don't agree with.
These are just a few of the big fears many writers who are preparing to submit to editors face. My hope is that all writers understand they aren't alone in their fears, their hopes, their confidence or lack of. The more writers I talk to, the more I hear, "been there, done that."
Doesn't that make you feel good?
Join me on Wednesday when we'll look at other fears writers face.
And...
Get Motivated! It's Monday!
Right?
I'm sure your snickering a little. Me too. We can be self-delusional at times, and it can be painful to realize other people have indeed been through what we're going through. You mean I'm not the first person on earth to ruin a friendship, get a divorce, forget a major appointment-- you fill in the blank. When we realize that we have plenty of company in our particular failure, there may be, for a brief moment, a sensation of let-down. After all, it can be a teeny bit romantic being such a spectacular failure--and the first one at that!
Later, though, comes an inevitable feeling of relief. If someone else has been in the same situation and lived to tell about it, well there really is hope. And that feels good!
With that in mind, I'm sharing with you a few common fears of beginning writers. Maybe you've been through these already, or maybe you've been spared these feelings? I know I've felt them at one time or another, and I still wrestle them down on occasion.
Inflated Belief #1: My writing is awesome! So clever, so original--it's going to knock the world's socks off!
Corresponding Fear #1: No one has actually read my work or commented on it. What if it not only doesn't knock the world's socks off, but it becomes a dart board of laughter at some editor's desk?
Hey, some writers do impress editors with their debut (and never-been-seen-by-anyone-other-than-dear-old-Aunt Betty) manuscripts. The majority, however, do not impress on the first go round. Guess what? That's okay. If you're reading this and haven't submitted a manuscript to an editor yet, I'm going to give you a great piece of advice that's been given to many, many writers. Have another writer critique it.
Find someone you trust, who you know will give you an honest, but kind, evaluation, or do the exact opposite and give it to a complete stranger. Whatever works for you. ACFW and RWA both have writing chapters where you can meet other writers or find an online critique group.
Another great option? Enter your manuscript in a few contests that offer feedback. It's not easy hearing our work isn't perfect, but it helps us grow as writers. And, hey, maybe you'll get lucky and it really is the greatest book by a debut author! You'll feel even more confident sending it to an editor.
Feedback will help you find a middle ground in your confidence level. You won't feel like a hopeless shmuck, nor will you have unfounded delusions of grandeur. You'll simply see areas where you can improve, and you'll see areas that you truly excel at. Then you can think how awesome you are--and mean it!
Inflated belief #2: A few people read my book and told me they loved it. It must be good.
Corresponding fear #2: They're just being nice. They hate it and are laughing behind my back at my ridiculous attempts to write a book. Why don't I just join the Witness Relocation Program and disappear?
The flip side of over-confidence in your writing is under-confidence. And yes, the two do appear simultaneously on occasion. Here's the reality of writing. Some people will read your work and they won't like it, but they'll do anything to avoid hurting your feelings. Other people, especially other writers who genuinely want to help you, will give you spot-on feedback. You have to honestly ask yourself which category the reader falls into. If you still lack confidence in your book, get a few more opinions. And always, always, trust your instincts. Don't take advice you don't agree with.
These are just a few of the big fears many writers who are preparing to submit to editors face. My hope is that all writers understand they aren't alone in their fears, their hopes, their confidence or lack of. The more writers I talk to, the more I hear, "been there, done that."
Doesn't that make you feel good?
Join me on Wednesday when we'll look at other fears writers face.
And...
Get Motivated! It's Monday!
Friday, April 3, 2009
Fear of Hurting Characters
We're going to kick off our hot April discussion on fear with my plea to you to inflict pain on your characters.
Hurt my babies?
Yes. If you don't, or can't, force your characters into their discomfort zone, your readers won't care about them. Think about every book you've loved over the years (excluding Dr. Seuss). Did the stories follow along on a happy trail from page one to the end? Not so much. I'll bet every book that's on your list of favorites was chock full of drama.
Even childhood books that have weathered time such as Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House on the Prairie are brimming with problems. Strange land, all alone? Check. Missing beloved dog? Check. Surprise visit by Indians? Check. Sickness? You betcha!
Do the books you read now raise your pulse, make you nibble on your fingernails, have you gripping the pages? Pick one off of your bookshelf (or the pile on the floor) and skim through it. Look at how many trauma-inducing events pop up.
But it's hard to hurt the ones I love...
Yeah, I know, but readers need to identify with characters. When I read, I'm in effect, watching a drama unfold. I want to know how the lead will handle the obstacles thrown his way. I need to understand why the heroine can't love the hero. Books help me make sense of the world, and I don't need to make sense of the good stuff; I need help understanding the bad.
Join me next week as we continue our discussion on fear, only we'll be applying it to our fear of writing.
Enjoy your weekend!
Hurt my babies?
Yes. If you don't, or can't, force your characters into their discomfort zone, your readers won't care about them. Think about every book you've loved over the years (excluding Dr. Seuss). Did the stories follow along on a happy trail from page one to the end? Not so much. I'll bet every book that's on your list of favorites was chock full of drama.
Even childhood books that have weathered time such as Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House on the Prairie are brimming with problems. Strange land, all alone? Check. Missing beloved dog? Check. Surprise visit by Indians? Check. Sickness? You betcha!
Do the books you read now raise your pulse, make you nibble on your fingernails, have you gripping the pages? Pick one off of your bookshelf (or the pile on the floor) and skim through it. Look at how many trauma-inducing events pop up.
But it's hard to hurt the ones I love...
Yeah, I know, but readers need to identify with characters. When I read, I'm in effect, watching a drama unfold. I want to know how the lead will handle the obstacles thrown his way. I need to understand why the heroine can't love the hero. Books help me make sense of the world, and I don't need to make sense of the good stuff; I need help understanding the bad.
Join me next week as we continue our discussion on fear, only we'll be applying it to our fear of writing.
Enjoy your weekend!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
April Fool's Day!
How many times have you been fooled on April 1st over the years? For that matter, how many times have you forgotten it's even April Fool's Day? When I was in elementary school, April Fool's Day was right up there with Valentine's Day for good old fashioned fun. No, it wasn't anywhere near the level of Christmas or Easter, but it was still something to look forward to.
I don't pull pranks on April 1st anymore, for the main reason that I'm horrible at thinking up a joke and even worse at pulling one off. I don't mind if someone plays one on me, as long as it isn't mean-spirited. I cringe at the lengths certain television shows go to in order to embarrass someone. Is there anything more cruel than making someone feel guilty over something they haven't even done? Terrible!
Photo by lenore-m
But when I began saddling up my high horse, I realized that I am required to inflict pain as part of my profession. If my characters don't suffer, they're boring and unreadable. Who could read about someone's perfect life for long without gagging, throwing the book, or both? No. Pain draws us. We need to empathize with characters we read about. We share their pain, their joys, their triumphs.
I've cried many a time over fictional characters. If my favorite authors didn't, in essence, pull pranks on their characters, I wouldn't have felt the same deep emotions.
This month we're going to delve into another painful feeling: fear. So join me on Friday when we'll get the fun going!
And...
Write Already! It's Wednesday!
I don't pull pranks on April 1st anymore, for the main reason that I'm horrible at thinking up a joke and even worse at pulling one off. I don't mind if someone plays one on me, as long as it isn't mean-spirited. I cringe at the lengths certain television shows go to in order to embarrass someone. Is there anything more cruel than making someone feel guilty over something they haven't even done? Terrible!
Photo by lenore-m
But when I began saddling up my high horse, I realized that I am required to inflict pain as part of my profession. If my characters don't suffer, they're boring and unreadable. Who could read about someone's perfect life for long without gagging, throwing the book, or both? No. Pain draws us. We need to empathize with characters we read about. We share their pain, their joys, their triumphs.
I've cried many a time over fictional characters. If my favorite authors didn't, in essence, pull pranks on their characters, I wouldn't have felt the same deep emotions.
This month we're going to delve into another painful feeling: fear. So join me on Friday when we'll get the fun going!
And...
Write Already! It's Wednesday!
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