What Does the Town Busy-Body Think?

You're writing a revealing scene, trying to convey the urgency in the conversation your characters are sharing, but are you nailing it?

Chances are--yes--you are nailing it, but if you want to double-check, step back and view the scene from another point of view.

Pretend you're the town busy-body. You're strolling along, minding your own business (with one ear, okay, both ears open) when you notice a hushed conversation between two people. You slow, scan the area for a convenient bush to hide behind, and sidle as close as you dare to eavesdrop. Luck is on your side since the bush has a hole just big enough for you to view the entire exchange.

What do you see?
What do you hear?
What are the whisperers conveying with their body language?

This exercise can help you determine if you need more action beats dispersed in your dialogue. This is also a great way to "show instead of tell" the reader what a character is feeling. The character isn't going to say "I'm devastated," but her slumped shoulders and the way she's aimlessly tracing her finger along the tiles of the table will.

Do you ever approach a scene as if you're eavesdropping on it? What are your secrets to "show not tell"? And please, someone slap me upside the head to stop using the same, tired actions? Every time I revise, I'm bombarded with the characters smiling, shrugging, and sighing. You'd think I'd learn...

Join me on Wednesday for another random question.

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