I hopped over to Books & Such Literary Agency's blog, Between the Lines, on Wednesday, and I was delighted with agent Rachel Kent's post. She encouraged writers to leave a "bad query" in the comments for an opportunity to win a copy of Liz Johnson's, A Promise to Protect, and the winner will have his or her real query evaluated by Rachel!
It looked like so much fun, I couldn't help but join the party.
And a party it was! As of Thursday, the post had prompted 276 comments. Can you believe it?? Many of them were responses to the bad queries. I read through almost all of them, and I laughed out loud numerous times.
I'm just going to list some of the highlights taken from the comments--the authors are listed at the end of this post!
Botched greetings:
Dear Rachelle Kent, Rach, Hark Woeful Wastrel, Dear Kent Rachel, 'Sup, Dear Lucky One...
Misspellings:
Repreesent, fickshunal novel, hawt guys, luv, genrha...
Titles:
FROM RUMPELSTILTSKIN TO REVELATION
Hawt Amish Space Aliens Warz
FIFTY-ONE SHADES OF GREY
The Nursemaid's Caretaker
SHADES, WIZARDS, & FORKS
Harry Breaks Wind
Descriptions:
"I found in my mamas journal..."
"Lots of fighting, blood and gore, and naughty women."
"It starts out slow, but once you get past all the back story it really picks up."
"I submitted to every agent I can find and your agency is my last hope."
"Feel the colors of the rainbow, riding a unicorn across clouds spun with
saccharine moonbeams."
"You have until noon to confirm you are representing my new speculative
fiction-slash-medieval cookbook."
"Maybe it will be a love quadrilateral? (You help with that stuff right?)"
"Please visit this website to find out about book, bio, etc. http://www.bad-querier.com"
"It is full of plot twists like obsticals and problems."
"It’s got it all, man, I’m talkin’ a werewolf, some vampires, a nest of
drug-dealin’ witches."
Comparables:
"This book would appeal to fans of Twilight, Harry Potter, Shades of Gray,
Downton Abbey, and The Giving Tree."
"It’s going to be the next Harry Potter – you know, the one by JK Tolkein?"
"The movie is Jack Reacher meets Downton Abbey meets Twilight meets those elves
from the Hobbit meets a bunch of chick lit writers in long dresses, with a
Beethoven or Mozart (some old guys in wigs or something) soundtrack, along with
a bunch of stuff about drugs and I think traffic violations, with aliens (from
space and the South of the Border kind."
"It’s a cross between Leave it to Beaver and Big Bang Theory."
"This could be a classic like that one written by Harper Collins, “To Kill…er,
some kind of bird. I don’t remember."
Writing Credits:
"My writing credits include a misdemeanor charge for bad checks that should be
expunged before press time."
"I know that my vast experience on my high school newspaper will entice you to
read my manuscript."
"Once I won the 3rd grade spelling be and a composition contest in 7th grade, that
why I’m qualified tobe a writer and giveing you the honor to be my first queery
letter."
"All six people I showed it to have loved the premise and say it will be a huge
hit."
"I have just completed my first novel for NaNo."
Extras:
"I know we will have more than just an agent writer relationship. We will be best
friends. I look forward to talking to you on the fone everyday."
"I can hear my mom coming down the stairs again, and I’d like to tell her that I
have an agent so I can actually sleep past 2:00p.m. tomorrow."
"If I see you representing any novels with Revolutionary, Civil War or WWII
settings, I will seek litigation against you for violating my copyright. (Notice
the small symbol at the bottom of this proposal.)"
"I know you guys are very busy, so I will call you next week. If I can’t get you,
I will just keep calling."
"Remember me! We meet in the bathroom a few years ago at a conference. I was the
one who slid my manuscript under the stall door."
"My uncle’s dead but I know he’d love it too and so will you if you actually read
it. I’m attaching a picture of my uncle so you’ll can see what a great guy he
was when he wasn’t dead."
"Please call me at my boyfriend’s number 555-1234 and let me know how much money
you are sending."
"P.S. Do you represent any real authors?"
"I can mail it to you if you agree to pay the postage. The package weighs about
fifty pounds."
"The manuscript’s up on ebay. LET THE BIDDING WAR BEGIN!!!"
"Please excuse the notebook paper and purple crayon."
Special thanks to the following bad query contest commenters: Richard Mabry, Meghan Carver, Cynthia Green, Jennifer Major, Jana Hutcheson, Lori, Heather Day Gilbert, Larry, Amanda Dykes, Lee, Ryan LaForge, Brandi Lynch, Morgan Tarpley, Heidi Timmons, Ashley Mays, Leigh Goff, Jennifer Hallmark, Josh, Mindy, Regina Jennings, Patrice, Stacy Voss, Tanya Eavenson, Elaine Faber, Sarah Sundin, Shawn Kuhn, Lynn Johnston, Michelle Gardner, David Todd, Scott. (If I used anything from someone not listed, I'm sincerely sorry!)
Please, go over and read the comments from "Bad Query Contest" if you're at all laughing at these tidbits!! I am so impressed with all of the entries! Love them!!
Showing posts with label Books and Such Literary Agency. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Books and Such Literary Agency. Show all posts
Friday, February 22, 2013
Friday, December 21, 2012
What's Your Plan For 2013?
Every December I take a few hours to map out my business plan for the following year. Sitting down to do this is always one part daunting, one part exciting, and one part confusing. How can I possibly know what new obligations the next twelve months will bring? I can't! But I don't let that stop me.
I use Microsoft OneNote to organize my writing life. It's where I create my business plan each year, too. The main tab in my 2013 Business Plan notebook features my goals. I've learned the hard way not to etch a full year's goals in granite, so I create two tentative plans, and they each get their own sub-page.
The first is January-June 2013 and the second is July-December 2013. I copy/paste an annual calendar onto its own page in this tab, too, for referrals. Since I track my daily writing/revising/plotting progress, I know roughly how long I will need for each phase of writing a book. With these figures, I can accurately predict the amount of time to block off.
I always allot extra time in the schedule. An extra week here and there makes a big difference for me to stay on track.
Here is a sample of my overall January-June goals:
Any number of things could throw this plan off, but I'd rather have a general plan than none at all.
The nice thing about OneNote is I'm able to create a little checkbox next to each goal (simultaneously press the "Control" and "1" keys). Love it!
If--let's face it, when!--I need to alter the plan, I change it and add a note on top of the page with the day I updated it.
I also keep track of my expenses, continuing education, and promotion efforts in my 2013 Business Plan notebook. Wendy Lawton of Books & Such Literary Agency wrote a terrific post about her business plan and how she grades herself at the end of the year. The post is here, An Agent's Report Card, if you're interested!
Do you have an idea of what you want to accomplish next year? Have you written it down? Try it!
I'll be taking a nice, long break for Christmas. See you all January 7, 2013!!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!
I use Microsoft OneNote to organize my writing life. It's where I create my business plan each year, too. The main tab in my 2013 Business Plan notebook features my goals. I've learned the hard way not to etch a full year's goals in granite, so I create two tentative plans, and they each get their own sub-page.
The first is January-June 2013 and the second is July-December 2013. I copy/paste an annual calendar onto its own page in this tab, too, for referrals. Since I track my daily writing/revising/plotting progress, I know roughly how long I will need for each phase of writing a book. With these figures, I can accurately predict the amount of time to block off.
I always allot extra time in the schedule. An extra week here and there makes a big difference for me to stay on track.
Here is a sample of my overall January-June goals:
- Polish finished manuscript 1 and send back to agent
- Brainstorm and Plot UNTITLED 1
- Revise first draft of manuscript 2
- Write first draft UNTITLED 1
- Send revised manuscript 2 to agent
- Brainstorm/OneNote Plot UNTITLED 2
Any number of things could throw this plan off, but I'd rather have a general plan than none at all.
The nice thing about OneNote is I'm able to create a little checkbox next to each goal (simultaneously press the "Control" and "1" keys). Love it!
If--let's face it, when!--I need to alter the plan, I change it and add a note on top of the page with the day I updated it.
I also keep track of my expenses, continuing education, and promotion efforts in my 2013 Business Plan notebook. Wendy Lawton of Books & Such Literary Agency wrote a terrific post about her business plan and how she grades herself at the end of the year. The post is here, An Agent's Report Card, if you're interested!
Do you have an idea of what you want to accomplish next year? Have you written it down? Try it!
I'll be taking a nice, long break for Christmas. See you all January 7, 2013!!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
5 Easy Questions with Jennifer K. Hale!
Every Wednesday, I ask a writer the same five easy questions. In an effort to support and promote fellow wordsmiths, I feature authors who write a variety of genres, from sweet inspirational to mainstream thrillers. The writers themselves may be aspiring, published, or best-selling--all have made an impact on my life.
Thank you for joining me in welcoming… Jennifer K. Hale!!
Let’s get to it!
1. Beverage of choice?
Sweet tea (I am a Southern Belle, after all). Or as a treat I'll occasionally have a Root Beer or Cherry Coke. I don't do diet drinks.
2. Any pets?
We have a sweet Lhasa Apso named Pickle. She's the best guard dog ever and actually scared off a burglar at the apartment where we lived the first year we had her. She's 10 now and a tiny little thing, but she still gives the UPS man a good chase. We used to have a cat. I don't do cats. You can read a nice little post about that at my blog.
3. Dream vacation?
Europe. I've been several times and I love it--I want to keep going until I've seen it all. I'd like to do Ireland next and one day, I'd love to break out of my European fascination and see India.
4. What are you listening to right now?
The sounds of my oldest son playing outside with a neighbor kid. (It's 75 degrees outside in December--it's GA after all, so they are making the most of it.) I've also got my favorite Pandora station going--the one I created by adding together all my favorite artists and songs. It's a weird, mish-mash station. :)
5. What's for dinner?
Most likely Italian or Mexican food. I love to cook, but my hubby and oldest son tend to be picky, and those are two types of food all four of us can agree on. My husband would eat Mexican food every night of the week if he could. Heart attack, anyone?
***
A Cherry Coke sounds delicious right now, as does Italian or Mexican food. My family would get along very well with your family! So you've been to Europe several times? Sounds amazing! Which countries did you visit? I'd love to get to London and then take a driving tour of the countryside. You're on your own when it comes to India, though--I'm fine traveling to the hot Middle East from my couch! In fact, I visited Vietnam yesterday via House Hunters International. :)
Pickle--what a cute name! Little dogs can be very protective. Our nine-pound Sophie thinks she's a Doberman. And don't you just love Pandora? I've found new-to-me artists through my stations. It's a treat! Thank you so much for being my guest today, Jennifer!
***
Jennifer is a hopeless romantic living in a Thomas the Train world. This high school history teacher turned stay-at-home mom turned writer is represented by Rachel Kent of Books and Such Literary Agency. When she's not wrangling her two adorable sons (ages 5 and 2), she's always looking for time to write contemporary and historical romantic fiction. She's passionate about Jesus Christ, her family, her church, chocolate, world travel, history, and the study of world religions. She even teaches a world religions class through her church so that others will know how to share the Gospel of Christ with anyone, anywhere in the world! She's a self-professed social studies nerd and loves politics, Broadway shows, and music and is an active member of her church's music department. Jennifer has been happily married to Brian, her super-teacher hubby, for ten years and they make their home in Georgia.
What is your favorite Christmas cookie? I love frosted sugar cookies!
Have a wonderful Wednesday!
Friday, February 25, 2011
How Much Time Should You Spend on Social Media?
One of the biggest problems any writer has with building and maintaining a platform is the time issue. Many writers struggle to find time to write, let alone keep up with e-mails, blogs, and everything else. What is the solution? Is there one?
There is no one solution for writers to manage their time on social networking. Each author is different, at a different place in her journey, and not everyone should devote the same amount of time online.
I have my own theory about the stages of the writer and social media. Each stage will require a different amount of energy and time.
1. The BeginnerThe writer who is just starting out should not worry about building a fiction platform yet. Beginners are smart to devote the bulk of their time writing and learning about writing. This is a good time to start reading author blogs because they are full of tips and advice. A Facebook page and Twitter account set up under your writer's name are fine to connect with other writers and friends. Don't stress yourself out trying to get followers and friends. Write your book, study the craft, and relax.
2. The Actively Querying Writer
Writers who are actively trying to acquire an agent or who are submitting their projects to editors are poised to build a platform. They are not wasting their time by starting a blog, adding friends and followers on Facebook and Twitter, or any other venue they feel comfortable utilizing.
Writers at this point are wise to schedule time each day or week to be active across their social media sites. Owners of new businesses are willing to spend many extra hours to insure their operations succeed. Think of yourself as a new business. Building a platform takes time and energy. It doesn't happen overnight. Spend the time now so that when you get that book contract, you'll have social networks in place to help promote it.
3. The Debut Author
This writer has an advantage over writers in other eras--she can build buzz about her name and her book before the book comes out--all from the comfort of her own home. Janet K. Grant of Books & Such Literary Agency wrote a phenomenal post--Building Velocity is More Important than Building Sales on the subject. Ideally, by this point, the debut author should have a solid network in place through blog followers, Facebook friends, Twitter followers, or other sites. She'll also want to create a website, if she hasn't already, and publish a quarterly newsletter.
She should invest time to stay active on her sites, whether it's thirty minutes each day or two hours, and she will want to be smart about the time she spends. Her goals should be maintaining contact with her current network while adding new friends. This means actively "following" new people, and being personable on their blog or other sites. I'm not going to mislead you--this takes time.
4. The Established Author Who Wants to Grow Her Audience
This author typically has a fan base, a website, and that's about it. She's savvy about promoting her writing in person but isn't quite comfortable with the whole social media thing. Not only is she unsure of what to do online, she has doubts that it even works.
This author would be wise to evaluate her current website. It should be showcasing her achievements (best-seller lists, awards) and it should be professional, updated regularly, and it should feature her current book, her backlist, and any appearances she's making. She will also want to add social media buttons so fans can easily follow her on any sites where she's active.
At this point, the established author should not feel compelled to start a blog. She already has a fan base--she's in a great position. She can spend a smart fifteen minutes each day on Facebook, another fifteen on Twitter, and she'll grow her audience.
Really? Only fifteen minutes on each? Yes, if the author is focused, she can grow her network quickly in a simple half hour each day. First, she should "friend" all of the authors she knows. Second, she should search for groups related to her genre and "friend" people there. For instance, a fantasy author might look for groups dedicated to online gaming. If she interacts with the people she meets, they'll be much more likely to want to buy her book because they like her. Plus, her efforts will drive people to her website, the perfect showcase for her writing. Win-win!
In my opinion, the writers who can get away with the least amount of time on social networks are beginners and established authors. Writers who will benefit from more time online are those actively querying or who have a debut book coming out. The exact amount is up to the writer.
Do you worry you spend too much time on social media? Not enough?
Have a terrific Friday!
There is no one solution for writers to manage their time on social networking. Each author is different, at a different place in her journey, and not everyone should devote the same amount of time online.
I have my own theory about the stages of the writer and social media. Each stage will require a different amount of energy and time.
1. The BeginnerThe writer who is just starting out should not worry about building a fiction platform yet. Beginners are smart to devote the bulk of their time writing and learning about writing. This is a good time to start reading author blogs because they are full of tips and advice. A Facebook page and Twitter account set up under your writer's name are fine to connect with other writers and friends. Don't stress yourself out trying to get followers and friends. Write your book, study the craft, and relax.
2. The Actively Querying Writer
Writers who are actively trying to acquire an agent or who are submitting their projects to editors are poised to build a platform. They are not wasting their time by starting a blog, adding friends and followers on Facebook and Twitter, or any other venue they feel comfortable utilizing.
Writers at this point are wise to schedule time each day or week to be active across their social media sites. Owners of new businesses are willing to spend many extra hours to insure their operations succeed. Think of yourself as a new business. Building a platform takes time and energy. It doesn't happen overnight. Spend the time now so that when you get that book contract, you'll have social networks in place to help promote it.
3. The Debut Author
This writer has an advantage over writers in other eras--she can build buzz about her name and her book before the book comes out--all from the comfort of her own home. Janet K. Grant of Books & Such Literary Agency wrote a phenomenal post--Building Velocity is More Important than Building Sales on the subject. Ideally, by this point, the debut author should have a solid network in place through blog followers, Facebook friends, Twitter followers, or other sites. She'll also want to create a website, if she hasn't already, and publish a quarterly newsletter.
She should invest time to stay active on her sites, whether it's thirty minutes each day or two hours, and she will want to be smart about the time she spends. Her goals should be maintaining contact with her current network while adding new friends. This means actively "following" new people, and being personable on their blog or other sites. I'm not going to mislead you--this takes time.
4. The Established Author Who Wants to Grow Her Audience
This author typically has a fan base, a website, and that's about it. She's savvy about promoting her writing in person but isn't quite comfortable with the whole social media thing. Not only is she unsure of what to do online, she has doubts that it even works.
This author would be wise to evaluate her current website. It should be showcasing her achievements (best-seller lists, awards) and it should be professional, updated regularly, and it should feature her current book, her backlist, and any appearances she's making. She will also want to add social media buttons so fans can easily follow her on any sites where she's active.
At this point, the established author should not feel compelled to start a blog. She already has a fan base--she's in a great position. She can spend a smart fifteen minutes each day on Facebook, another fifteen on Twitter, and she'll grow her audience.
Really? Only fifteen minutes on each? Yes, if the author is focused, she can grow her network quickly in a simple half hour each day. First, she should "friend" all of the authors she knows. Second, she should search for groups related to her genre and "friend" people there. For instance, a fantasy author might look for groups dedicated to online gaming. If she interacts with the people she meets, they'll be much more likely to want to buy her book because they like her. Plus, her efforts will drive people to her website, the perfect showcase for her writing. Win-win!
In my opinion, the writers who can get away with the least amount of time on social networks are beginners and established authors. Writers who will benefit from more time online are those actively querying or who have a debut book coming out. The exact amount is up to the writer.
Do you worry you spend too much time on social media? Not enough?
Have a terrific Friday!
Friday, February 4, 2011
Does an Internet Presence Really Help Unpublished Authors?
Last Friday we talked about how social media can help sell your books. But what if you're an aspiring author without a book to sell? Is it really worth your time to create an online presence?
Wendy Lawton of Books & Such Literary Agency wrote a terrific series a few weeks ago, and one of the posts, The Inside Track: How to Attract an Agent, spelled out what she looks for in a new client. "Along with that knowledge of the industry I look for writers who are connected. If you are writing fiction, I look to see what organizations and critique groups you belong to. I like to see queries from writers whose names I recognize because they Twitter with other writers, they comment on writer blogs or they follow a number of my writer/agent/editor friends on Facebook."
Her words triggered my memory. Way back in 2009, Rachelle Gardner wrote in her blog post The Dreaded Author Platform, "...I almost wanted to announce that I'd no longer accept queries from anyone who doesn't already have a good solid head start on a platform. (I won't draw such a clear line in the sand, but consider yourself informed.)"
Recently, more evidence of the importance of having an online presence came directly to my blog. I wrote a post two weeks ago, Why Not to Announce Requests/Rejections on Twitter, and wanted to share quotes from two very interesting commenters.
Lucky Press, LLC said, "As a publisher, if I am considering a manuscript, I do visit and read many posts and comments on the author's blog.... If a writer wants to be published, she must treat it as if she is starting a business and the product is the writer and her work." Lucky Press continued on to give a detailed, inspiring scenario about a current client.
Also, Bob Mayer--yeah, Bob Mayer the best-selling author, speaker, and publisher--stopped by and chimed in. "The first thing I do when I get a query from an author is Google them. Mainly to see if they have a social media platform-- it's a hard sell without one. I don't think authors should discuss their submissions, their agents, their publishers, unless it's positive on-line or unless they're burning a bridge they never expect to cross again. This is a good topic."
Four different publishing experts agree it is important for an unpublished author to build an online presence. To be fair, I know of a few authors with no online presence who have gotten agents in the past six months, but I know many more with firm online presences who have gotten agents.
What do you think? Is it important for unpublished authors to build an online presence?
Have a fantastic weekend!
Wendy Lawton of Books & Such Literary Agency wrote a terrific series a few weeks ago, and one of the posts, The Inside Track: How to Attract an Agent, spelled out what she looks for in a new client. "Along with that knowledge of the industry I look for writers who are connected. If you are writing fiction, I look to see what organizations and critique groups you belong to. I like to see queries from writers whose names I recognize because they Twitter with other writers, they comment on writer blogs or they follow a number of my writer/agent/editor friends on Facebook."
Her words triggered my memory. Way back in 2009, Rachelle Gardner wrote in her blog post The Dreaded Author Platform, "...I almost wanted to announce that I'd no longer accept queries from anyone who doesn't already have a good solid head start on a platform. (I won't draw such a clear line in the sand, but consider yourself informed.)"
Recently, more evidence of the importance of having an online presence came directly to my blog. I wrote a post two weeks ago, Why Not to Announce Requests/Rejections on Twitter, and wanted to share quotes from two very interesting commenters.
Lucky Press, LLC said, "As a publisher, if I am considering a manuscript, I do visit and read many posts and comments on the author's blog.... If a writer wants to be published, she must treat it as if she is starting a business and the product is the writer and her work." Lucky Press continued on to give a detailed, inspiring scenario about a current client.
Also, Bob Mayer--yeah, Bob Mayer the best-selling author, speaker, and publisher--stopped by and chimed in. "The first thing I do when I get a query from an author is Google them. Mainly to see if they have a social media platform-- it's a hard sell without one. I don't think authors should discuss their submissions, their agents, their publishers, unless it's positive on-line or unless they're burning a bridge they never expect to cross again. This is a good topic."
Four different publishing experts agree it is important for an unpublished author to build an online presence. To be fair, I know of a few authors with no online presence who have gotten agents in the past six months, but I know many more with firm online presences who have gotten agents.
What do you think? Is it important for unpublished authors to build an online presence?
Have a fantastic weekend!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)