Preparing for Success Part 1: The Mental Game

Preparing for Success is a three-part series targeted to aspiring writers. Any writer who decides to pursue publication, whether through self-publishing, e-publishing, or traditional publishing enters a crowded, competitive field. For most of us it will be a long, bumpy, confusing ride. If we use our unpublished time wisely, we will stand out from the crowd and our hard work will pay off.

Part 1: The Mental Game

The moment we decide we want to be published, a mental shift occurs. The safety of writing as a hobby is stripped away. Can I do this? What if I try and fail? Or what if I’m an instant success? We’re pummeled with excitement, euphoria, and uncertainty.

I can only speak for myself, but when I decided to pursue publication, I was certain I could write a good book and get it published. After all, reading was my favorite hobby; I knew a great story when I saw one. All I had to do was come up with a fabulous plot line, write the book, and send it to my target publisher. And if my first book didn't sell, surely my second book would. As I wrote my first novel, I skimmed the library’s copy of Writer’s Market, checked the publisher’s website, and took notes on how to submit to them.

Imagine my happiness months later when they requested a partial. This is it. All my dreams are going to come true. I’ll have a book on store shelves next year!

Four years later, I have yet to see my books on store shelves, but I’ve learned so much on my journey to this point that I’m—I can’t believe I’m admitting this—glad my first books never made it stores.

In fact, I’m convinced these years have been God’s way of preparing me for success. Each setback has strengthened me. Even with a supportive, fabulous agent, I keep my expectations realistic. My initial bravado morphed to true confidence in my ability to write a good, publishable book, and that confidence could only be earned by mastering the mental game.

Common Mental Traps Aspiring Writers Fall Into:

1. I’m special/unique and above the average writer.

Initially, we might not realize how many people are aspiring to be published authors. We may have a sense of entitlement or a deluded idea that we are somehow above the trials of other writers. Sure, it took them seven years to get published, but that won’t happen to me. The reality? We have no idea how long it will take us to get published.

2. I was born with writing talent. I don’t have to study.

Another pitfall of fresh, aspiring writers is the false belief that talent is a set trait. Most writers are born with special gifts, but talent must be polished, nurtured, strengthened. All writers need to continuously hone their craft.

3. My degree in creative writing guarantees I’ll get published.

Sorry, but even with a degree, you’re going to have to study the market. You’ll need to read the genre you write, learn mainstream fiction techniques, and get a critique partner. Whatever your literary background, expect to spend a lot of time learning about the publishing industry.

4. Rejected? I should quit. I’ll never be any good.

The first rejection can be brutal. I remember feeling as if I’d lost two pints of blood. It took me a few days to process everything. The only advice I can give is don’t give up. This is a setback, a learning tool, not the end of your writing career. Keep writing. Keep submitting.

5. No one understands how hard it is to get published.

Well, duh! Most people have no clue how competitive the publishing field is. It really doesn’t matter. We can use fear to distract ourselves by thinking about the thousands of queries we’re competing against, but at the end of the day, we only have control over one thing: writing the best book we are capable of.

6. I’m scared. I’ve invested years into this. What if it never happens?

I struggle with this one all the time. I still struggle with it. All I know is writing is the only thing I want to do with my life. It’s part of my soul. It’s necessary. And I want to share my writing with the world, so I keep going.

7. It’s not fair! She got a book deal?

Ah, envy, that vicious bully. Some writers will get their very first book published. It’s true. And we can’t help but wonder if they found some magical fast track. How did they get picked up? Why didn’t we? Again—this doesn’t help us. It distracts us. If you’re struggling with envy, remember the countless other souls in the same boat as you.

8. My book isn’t as funny/suspenseful/outrageous/etc…as so-and-so’s.

Good! We’re striving to offer something special in our books. When we get caught up in comparing our books to someone else’s, we diminish our own value. We don’t have to be like anyone else. Our writing should stand out for what we have to offer.

Mental Tools for Success

1. Humility

If you, like me, sometimes struggle with pride, facing rejections can be extremely humbling. However, when we experience lows, we’re better prepared to empathize with others in our shoes. Even when I’m celebrating a writing high, I’m careful not to overdo my public excitement out of respect for fellow aspiring writers. Yes, we all celebrate our friends’ successes, but if we’re in a slump or received a rejection, reading post after post about the wonderful life of a fellow author can grate our nerves to shreds.

2. Confidence

Confidence can be confused with pride or arrogance. Confidence in your writing is when you know deep in your soul that your writing is the best it can be at this time. I didn’t gain true confidence until I entrusted my writing to critique partners, studied the craft extensively, and took to heart the advice offered in rejection letters.

3. Peace

I’ve made peace with the fact my current books may get turned down. Or they may get picked up. It may take months on a pub board to get a contract. It may take months for me to write my next book and maybe that will be my break-in book. I still have a nagging sense of wanting it now, but I no longer put unrealistic gauntlets down, like this MUST be the one. Really? Must it? My life will go on pretty much the same regardless.

Final Thought

Often, we put a time frame or other limitations on our writing aspirations. If I’m not published in a year, I’ll give up or If this book gets rejected, I’ll know it’s a sign I’m not meant to be published.

This kind of thinking doesn’t help us. Why put an expiration date on our dreams? We have a lifetime to do the things we want to do, so throw off the rules and embrace the fact that you’re a writer. You’re doing something amazing and courageous by writing and submitting your work. Be proud of yourself!

What is your biggest hurdle in the mental game?

Come back on Wednesday for Preparing for Success Part 2: Writing.

Have a wonderful Monday!

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