I'm sitting on my couch. Sophie, the mini-wiener dog, is on my shoulder. Crazy little puppy. Anyway, I'm listening to the radio, and Ray Charles's "You Don't Know Me," just came on.
These old songs spark memories--not only memories of actual events, but memories of who I used to be, and I can't help wonder if I shouldn't be that person still.
Did I change so much? Do I still recognize me?
I get caught up in word counts, revising, critiquing, driving the kids, getting groceries, taking a run. I forget I'm more than this moment. And now I'm listening to these great old songs. Memories bombard me, the ones I'd tucked away in hidden pockets.
- Flashes of going to a fancy restaurant with my sister. We try new foods, enjoying the excitement of being out of college and having good-paying jobs. We giggle. No one can bring waves of laughter on quite like my sister.
- I see myself laughing, dancing in my cute dresses at a million and one wedding receptions--my word!--my family and my husband's family know how to have a good time!
- Sad memories come back too. A big fight. The colors of summer, the dark sky, the tang of the air--it rushes back.
- Dancing with my toddler daughter in the living room of our first purchased house. Twirling, twirling, giggling, giggling until we fall in an exhausted heap.
- The insanely huge spider (it had bones, people!) dangling over our heads us as my husband and I walk up the steps of our first home. I can feel our excitement, our anticipation!
- Staring over a table for two in the Florida Keys. Thinking I married the most handsome, incredible man in the universe. I still think so. :)
- Sitting on a quilt in the park with my baby son for an outdoor concert. His white-blonde hair melts me and his blue eyes crinkle as he squeals in delight.
- Sobbing in a parking lot the first week we moved to another state. Had no idea how we would make it in such a different culture. Felt like we made a huge mistake. (We didn't.)
- Driving a car full of school kids to basketball tournaments. The car shakes as they sing along to the Black Eyed Peas. Love it!
I don't spend a lot of time thinking about the past, but sometimes a song will trigger it--and my heart just tugs and tugs, unable to resist looking back.
It's then I remember--I'm so much more than today.
What songs trigger your memories? Do you ever feel not-quite-in-touch-with-yourself?
Have a wonderful Monday!