Monday, May 12, 2014

Mother's Day Guilt

Should be so simple, right? Honor the moms in our life one Sunday each May. Easy!


My life hiking in front of me. I'm always a few steps behind!

This holiday is a toughy. On one hand I'm blessed with an incredible mother. My mom and I have weathered a lot this year, having to make hard decisions about my dad and navigate the life upheaval that comes with it. The sacrifices she's made, the love she's filled with, and her strong faith impress me every day. And I'm blessed with a wonderful mother-in-law who has always gone out of her way to make me feel loved. The moms in my life deserve to be honored! 

But we live a few hours away from both sets of parents. We also have sports and church commitments most weekends, making it difficult to visit. Therefore, we sent our moms cards this year and called them. Do I feel guilty not taking them out for a big breakfast, showing up on their porches with pretty hanging baskets of flowers, and giving them hugs yesterday? 


Then there's the other guilt-inducer surrounding this holiday. My peers. Yes, I've been beyond blessed with two children. One even got her driver's license last Friday. My kids are growing up but they'll always be my babies. However, I'm all too aware of friends who struggled with infertility or lost precious babies to miscarriages. Worse, there are parents in our area who recently lost teens. I can't imagine the pain they're suffering. 

While we're on the subject, Mother's Day can be brutal for anyone who has lost a mother or is estranged from a mom or child. I wouldn't blame someone for spending the day in bed. 

I'm saluting all the women in my life. Single, married, moms or not--you all make my life better and I appreciate you!! 

Do you suffer from Mother's Day guilt?

Have a wonderful day!


  1. I can relate, for sure! We went to my mother-in-law's house 3 hours away for the weekend and my husband scheduled a fishing outing and for us to spend 8 hours with his friends. Then yesterday we had to come back to spend time with my parents. He felt bad that he didn't spend more time with his mom--but I'm not going to feel guilty about coming back to have dinner with my mom, since his fishing trips and friend time is what really took away from his mom time.

    1. Busy, busy, busy and still can't make everyone happy! That's what holidays are all about. :) I give you credit for juggling both!

  2. You bring up some great points, Jill. I've walked the infertility route, and Mother's Day was by far the most difficult holiday before God chose to bless us with our sons.

    This Mother's Day, we planned to drive an hour north to be with my family. Winter Storm Zephyr put a stop to those plans. My husband's parents live too far away to visit on a holiday like this one, so we called them. We ended up spending a quiet day at home, and I loved it.

    My guilt actually came more from feeling like my hubby missed the importance of this day for me. And feeling guilty for being selfish because I wanted him to do more than he did. I don't know how to explain it.

    I hope your Mother's Day was a good one, Jill.

    1. I cannot believe you're still getting snow. Make it stop!! I understand the whole selfish thing. We do so much and take on all the yucky jobs no one else wants, and sometimes we just want to be appreciated for it! I did have a great Mother's Day. Thanks!

  3. LOL.Most year - yes. We moms are so good with guilt, aren't we!

  4. Yeah, sometimes. But not so much this year, and I'm grateful. Moms are amazing people!

    1. Good to hear! A year off from Mother's Day guilt is a good thing!

  5. There really is no reason to feel guilty if you can't visit with your mom(s) on THE day. Moms know their children love them. There are 364 other days you can take your mom to lunch, shopping, have a cup of tea with her, or just call on the phone to honor her for being your mom and all the things she does for you.

  6. Sometimes, sadly, estrangement is the only answer. I feel bad about it every single day. Mothers' Day doesn't really make it worse. But there's no Hallmark solution.

    Losing an unborn child - not something that affects a man as deeply as it does a woman, I guess, but I did see mine killed, along with the mother, in front of me. Again, the loss is an everyday thing. Fathers' Day does not make it worse, but I can never walk through the toy or children's section of WalMart without suffocating rage and sorrow.


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