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Friday, July 20, 2012

Oh, the Warped Mind of a Writer

I've been reading the tabloids about Katie Holmes asking for a divorce from Tom Cruise. Naturally, my big mouth starts yammering away with a few girlfriends, and instead of putting the best construction on the situation, I jump to the worst.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes leaving plane
Photo by waponigirl

Honestly, it's the writer in me. I'll think good, positive thoughts about people in my life all the live-long day, but celebrities? No way!

We're sitting on blankets on the grass behind the fence of the baseball field. It's gorgeous weather--80's, a breeze, and a caravan of puffy clouds chugging through the sky.
"I think he's going to try to have her killed," I say, nodding with my I-know-what-I'm talking-about face on.

"What? He's giving her divorce without a fight." My more sane friend throws her hands in the air.

I shrug. "Of course he'll give her a divorce. He has a multi-million dollar reputation to protect. Why would he fight her about it?" I flick my magazine page to the next article.

"You're crazy," another pipes in. "They grew apart. He's giving in gracefully."

"He's considered god-like in Scientology," I add. I had read this in my UsWeekly--the source for all things celebrity related. "Guys like that don't just 'give in gracefully.'"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying if Katie dies in the next year, we know who to point the finger at."

We all laugh, enjoying the bit of silliness on a blah afternoon.

Do I really believe Tom will try to have Katie killed? No!

But...

Why would she use disposable cell phones to communicate about the divorce (article linked here)? Someone's paranoid. For good reason? I don't know. But, since I'm a writer, I assume I do know. Yes. She has a reason. A reason to be afraid.
And let's not forget the headline from People Magazine the other day, "Katie Holmes & Suri's Car Hit by Garbage Truck." The article goes on to say, "This is the second time their car has been hit in four days."

Second time in four days!!

I rest my case. *wink, wink*

Do you jump to the worst conclusions about celebrities? Or do you not care about them either way?

Have a terrific weekend!

26 comments:

  1. In the end, (no pun intended), I don't care if an actor is gay or not, but still I'm fascinated with those actors that are married yet are rumored to be gay, like Travolta.

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    1. I'm fascinated with celebrity gossip in general, Em! And the stories about Travolta are too bizarre to believe!

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  2. I don't really care or pay attention to the goings on about celebrities,News reports of them every hour, every day are boring. but I do like your version better. And if it happens, I can say I heard it first from Jill

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    1. Ha, ha!! I hope no one hears it first from me! I just like to make up suspenseful plot twists for celebrities!

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  3. This cracks me up! And I'm with you. She'll end up with her disposable phones in the ocean. Or a creek, wouldn't that be sickly poetic. Poor, "Joey". But seriously, I don't keep up with what's going on, but when it pops up on my yahoo page, yup, I read it! :)

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    1. Oh, you're good. You. Are. GOOD! Cell phones in the creek!! Ha!! I'm the same as you--I read the headlines. Can't help myself!

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  4. Okay, I totally LOLed my way through this, then felt bad for LOLing at the thought of Tom trying to kill Katie...oh the guilt!

    Once, in Florida, I drove past the Scientology headquarters. Whoa. Money.

    I don't know if my mind jumps to the worst, but I will admit to a sort of morbid fascination. I like to blame the writer in me. :)

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    1. I know--I feel so bad for saying this stuff, and yet, it still keeps spewing from my mouth? And I'm laughing! That's wrong! Right? :)

      I would love to drive past the Scientology headquarters. That would be cool!

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  5. I'm fascinated and like you, my imagination has a tendency to go a little wild. But I've seen a lot of life imitate art (or stuff I've written about) so not much surprises me anymore.

    ~ Wendy

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    1. Reality really does surprise me too. I couldn't make up some of these headlines if I tried. Which is depressing... :)

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  6. LOL! I'm so with you on this one. My brain goes all sorts of places. I've been envisioning what homelife would be like with a hot, controlling, cult-following husband who's got a killer smile. (pun intended). Makes for a good book -- if not real life. :)

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    1. Ooo, Jaime, I think you have your next book! "The hot, controlling, cult-following husband with the killer smile is...at it again!" I'd read that book. You know I would read that book! :)

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  7. Looks like Nicole Kidman managed to get out alive. And Penelope Cruz was smart enough to ditch him before it got that far. What do you suppose is the reason he goes after good Catholic girls, though?

    Although the truth is, I don't really care about celebrities. I feel sorry for them.

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    1. That's because Nicole Kidman was smart and hid out in Nashville. Neither Tom nor Scientology can take on a city full of good ol' boys. I wouldn't go up against Toby Keith. Ha! What IS it with him and Catholic girls. Good point! I'm going to be thinking of this all day... :)

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  8. It's fascinating to me, because he seems like such a nice guy. My imagination went wild at first too, and I thought he would fight dirty. Either she's paranoid or she figured the only way she could get Suri out of Scientology was to hit him with a sneak attack.

    My question is: how could she not know ahead of time what she was getting into?

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    1. I know, Stacy! It's really weird! Maybe she had warning signs but ignored them? Or maybe she was in the classic, "I can change him" mode?

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  9. Tom and Katie who?

    OK, just kidding. But I don't really keep up with celebrities at all. Too busy dealing with fake people in my own little world of creation. Muahahaha!

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    1. Ha, ha!! That's good. You don't need these ridiculous distractions. I can lose a good hour just trying to figure out how Tom will get away with murder... :) Ha!!

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  10. Haha! Love this post. And yes, I'm a sucker for celebrity gossip. Never thought about Tom killing Katie, but your suspicions definitely have merit! Will be keeping my eyes on the tabloids. You know, those "reliable" ones. :-)

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    1. Oh, yeah, Lynda, I know all the "reliable" tabloids! ha!

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  11. I used to go to a cowboy church (why, God why?!) ahem, anyway, one Sunday a guy came in distraught because he had not heard from his wife all night. Did I do the Christian thing and comfort him along with everyone else? No! I already had him pegged as suspect #1 in case of foul play & that he was turning on the water works to steer suspicion away from him. Turns out she was looking for her horses and ended up spending the night on the side of a mountain because she could not make the decent before dark and was fine. Tell me a story and I imagine the worst case scenario!

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    1. A cowboy church?? That sounds awesome! I would have done the same thing. The SAME thing! Ha!!

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  12. I'm an old skeptic. I believe every move they (celebs) make is a well-orchestrated written script - novel indeed. It keeps us wanting to read more.

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  13. I love hearing your theory on this, Jill! I drive my husband crazy with my conspiracy theories over celebrities and government decisions, cover-ups, etc. It's fun and a sure conversation starter.

    I think Tom Cruise appears a bit...ahem, volatile, sometimes, so your theory isn't one to easily dismiss. You should keep a notebook to jot them down for potential story ideas. Isn't it fun to be a writer?

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  14. There are certain couples I stay interested in. I really thought Katie and Tom would make it. Too bad he got so into Scientology that it's messing up his life. I doubt we'll ever know the real story.

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  15. I'm not one to follow the celebrity lifestyles. Here's why. O.J Simpson started out seeking sympathy from those who followed him. Then,the police said the evidence pointed to him as the perpetrator. Then he got off. There have been others who have 'played the victim' and later it became apparent that they also were the perpetrator. Tiger Woods had a wreck with his car. Then we found out that he had 'strayed from home.'

    Katie Holmes may have had grounds for this divorce that we don't know about.

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